5 Ways to Approach People at Networking Events

Andy Lopata, Guest Author

I recently asked people on various social networks what topics they would like me to cover in this series. One of the most popular areas was who to approach at events, how to do so and how to get into groups.

Here are five ways to approach people at networking events and get the conversation started.

ONE: The Lone Ranger

I work on the simple principle that people don’t go to networking events for solitude. Look for people standing on their own, often around the sides of the room (people don’t tend to stand on their own in the middle of a crowd of people) with heads buried in their Blackberry or the evening paper.

Approach them and ask if you can join them. Most people will be grateful and appreciate your approach. Please, just don’t leave them on their own again when you’ve finished your conversation.

TWO: Read body language

When people are speaking in pairs or groups there is a lot to learn from their body language. People will either be facing each other or at slightly open angles. The simple rule of thumb is whether you can easily approach their group without forcing them to change their stance to accommodate you.

If you see people talking to each other using strong eye contact, lots of hand movement and clearly involved in the conversation, that should act as a strong clue to hang back and look for other people to approach.

THREE: Stop, look, listen

There can be little more frustrating at a networking event than someone coming along when you are mid flow and asking if they can join you. The conversation tends to stop at that point as people introduce themselves to the new arrival and ask about them. All of a sudden your point has been forgotten and the focus has shifted.

If you approach a group in mid conversation, join them quietly, listen to their conversation and wait either until they invite you to join them or there is a suitable pause. If neither occur you can quietly move away in the knowledge that the timing was wrong. You can always go back at a later stage.

FOUR: Join on their terms

When you join the conversation above keep the focus on the people already in the group rather than shifting it to you. When the appropriate pause comes, if possible introduce yourself with a question based on what the last person has just been saying.

The only exception would be if the conversation has reached a natural conclusion. In such cases your arrival has given the excuse for people to shift focus and for others to leave the group.

FIVE: Ice breakers

Please avoid opening any conversation with the immortal words ‘What do you do?’. Apart from the fact that the wrong answer can kill a conversation stone dead, if the group has just been covering that ground you will be leading them back to a conversation they have just moved on from.

As suggested above, ask questions about their current topic of conversation if possible. Failing that, discuss the event you are at. You know that’s the one thing you share in common (other than weather and travel to/from the venue!). What did they think of the speaker? What brought them there? What have they gained from being there?

BONUS Articles: 3 Easy Networking Questions to Stand Out from the Crowd
3 Easy Networking Questions to Stand Out from the Crowd ~ Part Two

Copyright © 2013 – Andy Lopata. Reprinted with permission. Labeled “Mr Network” by The Sun, Andy Lopata was called “one of Europe’s leading business networking strategists” by the Financial Times. The co-author of two books on networking, Andy is a featured columnist the US magazine “The National Networker,” as well as being regularly quoted in the national press. Previously, Andy was Managing Director of UK network Business Referral Exchange. Andy has since worked with companies from one-man bands to organisations such as NatWest Bank, Merrill Lynch and Mastercard to help them realise the full potential from their networking. He is a former vice-president of the Professional Speakers Association. Visit Andy’s Website and BLOG.

Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Networking: Here’s a Novel Idea!

Do you have a plan for keeping in touch with the billions of business cards you have laying in a stack on your desk that you collected at your last networking meeting? You do need a plan if you intend to keep in touch.

So, you met some great people/businesses that you’d like to keep in touch with, now what? The next step is reach out via social media, or e-mail to stay connected. Here are some guidelines:

• Follow businesses you liked on their social media (LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest) business pages.

• Connect on LinkedIn with folks you met and make sure to include where you met them and maybe even something you talked about. Also, make sure you have a updated picture on your profile.

• Follow up with people when you say you’re going to and with the information you promised. Nothing’s worse then an “I’ll call you” and then never hearing from them again (sound familiar?)

“Disturb the comfortable. Get intentional. Let’s live life on purpose.” ~ Daniel Decker

• Don’t use the wrong name when you e-mail or connect with the person on LinkedIn. We have to admit, we’ve done this before when we were in a rush, but we try to never repeat that mistake.

• Compose a quick response – one that you can adjust depending upon the circulstance – to send to anyone. Next time copy and past (with adjustments, of course) and send. Keep it short. No one ever said paragraphs must be 4 or 5 sentences to be effective. Shorter paragraphs work well and can be easily digested. Cut the fluff. Be clear. Wordy is not better. It’s confusing.

• Better yet… pick up the phone! I use to be afraid to make the call. Remember, this is not a cold call… you already met them at the networking event. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. Ask yourself, “What is the worse thing that could happen?” Hmmm. They may not want to meet with you. If you can handle that… make the call. You can’t win them all and if you don’t make the call, you’ll never know. That, I can’t handle – not knowing does not serve me well.

It’s not always comfortable to follow-up… and if you want success with networking, you have to do it anyway.

“People who ask confidently get more than those who are hesitant and uncertain. When you’ve figured out what you want to ask for, do it with certainty, boldness and confidence.” ~ Jack Canfield

Larry’s NOTE: Thank you to Jenny Klimisch, Marketing Specialist at VerticalResponse.com for the inspiration for this article. I’ve used VerticalResponse.com for many years and have always been satisfied with their excellent service!

BONUS articles: Are You Fouling Up in Your Follow Up?
Seven Steps To Building Your New Relationships Through Follow-Up
Your Networking Fortune is in Your Follow-Up!
5 Ways to Use Follow Up to Achieve Results
Easy E-mail Follow Up Plan for Networking

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Amplify Your Influence!

How do you amplify your influence?

We are all eager to have our horns tooted! We can toot our own horns through branding, social media, e-mail, special events, etc.

Here is a tip: Toot others’ horns first! Instead of focusing all the conversation about you and your business, celebrate the successes of others. Brag about those in your network with whom you have either used their services or you know from personal experience that they are good at what they do and you want to share this information with others.

If you want to amplify your own influence try amplifying the influence of others. If you want others to pay attention to you and your business, pay attention to them.

By being aware of the good things of others going on in your community, you can help others enter into others’ circles of influence. By celebrating others’ success, you will call attention to yourself and have the opportunity to shine your own light.

When it is your turn to toot… do so with finesse… NEVER overdo it. Be subtle. Tell them just enough to make them want to know more.

BONUS Article: We All Need to Dig a Little Deeper…
How to Be a Red Ferrari in a Sea of Silver Cars
6 Things Every Small Business Can Learn From Lady Gaga
It’s Really Okay to “Toot” Your Own Horn…
How to Brag About Yourself Without Turning Others Off
Do You Have an Effective “30 Second Connection?”

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

We All Need to Dig a Little Deeper…

Last night I had a dream. I was in another city on a speaking engagement. Before I arrived, I did a Google search for successful networking groups in that city and found one that I could visit while I was speaking in their city.

It wasn’t a large group but it was the most effective group I have ever witnessed. I was introduced as a guest from Scottsdale who was visiting their city. I gave the leader of the group a copy of my book, “Ten Commitments of Networking” to give away as a door prize.

As I spoke with about ten of the members after their guest speaker, I noticed that no one was talking about “their” business. Everyone was talking about someone else… no one, not one single person tried to hawk me their wares. Not a soul. How refreshing!

I felt right at home. There was no selling. I was in an atmosphere of true “giving!” Everyone was so friendly. Everyone was smiling. There were no shy violets. No wallflowers. No one was standing on the sidelines. Everyone was involved.

You know how every once in a while a real friend will show up in your dream and you actually interact with them? Does that ever happen to you? My real friend’s name is Bob Coxsey. In real life, Bob lives in Las Vegas. We worked together in Real Estate when we both lived in Tulsa many years ago. I was his sales manager. He happened to show up at the networking meeting I was dreaming about.

He was standing back in the shadows talking with someone and was the last person I saw. He was so excited about a new networking friend. He gave me one of their flyers and went on and on about them. He told me that they were someone I really needed to get to know because they had so many great ideas about… and then I woke up. I was disappointed. I was excited about knowing more about his friend.

I was so inspired by this dream that I woke up in the middle of the night, came to my computer and began to tell you this story. Often when I get a good idea I can’t wait to share it with others. So I jotted down a few ideas and went back to bed.

That didn’t work! So many ideas began to flood my head that I couldn’t sleep, so I came back to my computer and began writing again.

Do you really know the people in your network? I mean, “really” know them? We all need to dig a little deeper. Be on a crusade to develop closer business and personal relationships with those in our network. Schedule follow-up meetings to visit their office, read their flyers, and really get to know them personally and professionally. Carry their business cards with you in a large business card holder so you can be ready in case an opportunity to share their work with your friends outside of your network shows up. Professional networkers make friends easily… close friends. The closer the connection, the better networking works!

“There is no greater reward then helping others help themselves.” ~ Larry James

We all need to get to know those friends that are in our networking circle much better. We need to focus on “them.” We all need to dig a little deeper. We need to get to the good stuff about our networking friends. We need to get excited about knowing more about the people we are connected to. We need to learn more about their businesses so we can truly get excited enough about them and their business that we can’t help but want to share about them with our friends. After all, isn’t that what networking is really about… building close business relationships that support each other? You can’t do that if you think networking is always about selling “your” services to others and getting business leads. Networking is about giving.

Click here for info!

Now, can I go back to bed?

Larry’s NOTE: Thanks to Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Clive Owen and Julia Roberts for the inspiration for this article. Before I went to bed, I watch the movie, “Closer,” about the romantic and sometimes twisted interactions of four people. I am reasonably certain that this move deeply influenced this dream.

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest dream . Larry’s networking book: Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Are You an Overly Assumptive Networker?

I’ve heard the “always give two business cards” trick several times. The idea is to give two cards so the other person keeps one and can pass one on to another person. I disagree. When I have two business cards forced upon me by someone I just met, it feels overly pushy and much too assumptive for me. Others have told me it’s a big turn-off.

There are times when I want several cards from my contacts, as I plan to give them away. The rule for me is that in order to give someone else’s business card to one of my friends, I have to know them “well,” have used their services or they have been highly recommended by one of my networking friends. No relationship… no referrals (no business card).

Never give someone 2 of your business cards when you first meet. It infers “keep one and pass the second one to someone else,” a right you have yet to earn. One business card in the beginning is quite enough. First of all, if we are meeting for the first time, I don’t really know you and if you assume that I will pass your card to someone else, having just met you… you are very wrong. We don’t have a relationship yet. We just met. It’s too soon to assume such a task.

I never give anyone more than one business card, if that, unless they ask for more. As a matter of fact, I don’t just give my card to anyone. Sometimes after a brief conversation I can instantly discern that they are not someone who I would like to get to know better.

Hand out your business card only after you determine that there has been a connection; that this person is someone you really would like to stay in contact with. Immediately after we have spoken, I jot a quick not to myself about why I should follow-up with this one.

Obviously, the next step is to follow-up the next day; more than two days later in my opinion, is too late to follow-up. By then, they may have forgotten meeting you. When you “call” (not e-mail or text) remind them of where you met and request a time to get together so that can learn more about what they do. It’s best to meet them at their office.

Important: Resist the urge to talk about your business or to attempt to sell them anything if your meeting them at their office. You are there to learn more about them. Generally speaking they will ask about you and your business. They have given you a green light, however I usually tell them a little… just enough to whet their appetite to know more – then once I have determined that they are someone I would like to have a business relationship with, I invite them either to a lunch or a visit to my office.

REVIEW the many other articles on this Blog about business cards: http://networkinghq.wordpress.com/category/business-cards-2/

BONUS Articles: Networking is NOT a Card Game…
What About Business Cards…

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Breaking Out of Your Comfort Zone

Donna Fisher, Guest Author

Every year thousands of events are held in cities all across the country, giving people the opportunity to network. By attending a conference or convention of your industry you place yourself in a fertile networking environment. That experience can be fun, productive, and valuable or it can be uncomfortable, unproductive, and time-consuming. It’s all up to you — how well you prepare for and conduct yourself at the event.

Preparation for a Networking Event

Learn everything you can about the event — activities, attendees, schedule, etc. Then determine what will make you feel comfortable: Should you go with someone you know who’s also attending? Is it appropriate to bring a friend, associate, or client? Would it be more profitable for you to be an attendee or an exhibitor?

Identify the People You Want to Visit

A convention is a great opportunity to strengthen existing relationships and expand your network. Think about who will likely be there and make a mental note of the new contacts and reconnections you want to make.

Participation at a Networking Event

• Get Involved One way to put yourself at ease is to give yourself something to do. Volunteering not only gives you a job to do, but gets you involved and naturally connects you with other volunteers and participants.

• Focus on Others Rather than worrying about what you’re going to say, focus on what others are saying. When you have your attention on something or someone other than yourself, your self-consciousness will disappear and others will be more likely to remember and appreciate you.

• Listen and Gather Information Good conversationalists know the importance of listening. It conveys a natural interest in others and enables you to be more aware of what to say and talk about in order to keep the conversation flowing.

• Use People’s Names Pay attention as people introduce themselves so that you can address them by name during the current conversation and increase chances of remembering their name at a later date.

More info click cover!

• Move on Graciously A networking event is a place to meet and mingle. Yet, people often feel uncomfortable ending a conversation so they can mingle and talk with others. Just be gracious, with a closing comment such as “Nice to meet you. Have a good afternoon.” “Good luck with your new venture.”

• Exchange Business Cards Business cards are best exchanged when there’s some stated reason to do so, such as “I’ll call about scheduling a time to get together for lunch” or “Give me a card and I’ll send that information to you tomorrow.”

• Relax, Have Fun and Enjoy Yourself People often get uptight about attending networking events because they feel they have to find a new prospect, make a sale, or accomplish some significant goal. Networking is meant to be fun. Relax. The more at ease you feel, the more likely it is you’ll make some good solid contacts. The goal shouldn’t be the quantity of interactions, but the quality.

There are possibilities all around you — people are just waiting for someone to break the ice. That someone could be you!

Copyright 2013 – Donna Fisher – Reprinted with permission. Donna Fisher, CSP (Certified Speaking Professional), is a professional speaker, trainer and author of Power Networking: 59 Secrets for Personal & Professional Success. She teaches people skills essential for business success. For further information: www.DonnaFisher.com or 800-934-9675.

Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

8 Steps To Build Relationships After A Networking Event

Deborah Shane, Guest Author

Headed to a networking event? Keep these tips in mind…

We spend considerable time networking in person because we know it’s still the most important way to build relationships with colleagues, peers and potential new customers. We pick the events we want to go to and we prepare.

For bigger conferences, we spend even more time preparing for the sessions and events we want to attend, people we want to meet and build in time for random hook ups.

When you return from a conference you had been planning for, sorting it all out in an organized, timely process is the key to beginning the conversion from connection to relationship.

I talk a lot about the importance of blending in-person networking with social media. The importance of Integrating your personal marketing and branding activities to build reach and impact. I delivered this very content recently at XPO NYC, the largest B2B conference in the northeast.

There is the planning to go, being there and the follow up, probably the most important way to leverage your RON-return on networking.

There are three important things to consider after going to any in-person event but especially bigger conferences.

• Prioritize contacts
• Customize follow-up messages
• Timeliness

Here are eight steps for converting the information and connections into actionable relationships after a big conference.

1. Sort Through Your Cards And The People You Met

Hopefully, every card you got was a person you owned a moment with, or had a meaningful exchange with. I like to write a word or two or note on the card to remind me of what we exchanged.

2. Review All The Sessions You Attended

Take the program and review all the sessions you attended and what was presented. Add notes to the notes you actually took during the session while reviewing it.

3. Review All The Notes You Took

Go through all your notes and highlight the key ideas from the speakers and that you wrote down.

4. Review The Handouts And Information You Got

Take the time to review all the handouts, leave behinds, worksheets, post cards you took home with you. Take advantage of any incentives offered to you by the speakers and conference presenters.

5. Prioritize And Define Who To Follow Up With And Why

Although we gather cards at these events, prioritizing the warm connections and ones that make the most sense to follow up on should be followed up on first. Qualify why, and be specific about what you will follow up with them about.

Click cover for info

6. Draft A Customized Follow-Up Letter To Each Group

Divide your connections into groups and customize a follow-up letter to them, that makes sense and is appropriate for why you should continue. Being thoughtful about this to them will make a big difference.

7. Invite Them To follow Up On Social Media

This is the bridge that can help you get into people’s communities, stream, conversations and get you started in building commonality. Use LinkedIn as a starting point, add Twitter and then if appropriate Facebook. Comment on their blog, or invite them to yours.

8. Create A 30-Day Follow-Up Plan

For the contacts you make you want to develop, make a 30-day plan for each person, or the group of contacts that you met. Be consistent, and interact as regularly as possible. Show up, be a part of and join.

Relationships don’t happen in a week!

These eight steps should be started and worked through immediately. The timeliness of follow-up is critical. You will want to get back to people while you are both fresh in each other’s minds.

Copyright © 2013 – Deborah Shane. Deborah Shane was named a Top 100 Small Business Champion for 2012 and Top 100 Small Business Podcast 2013 by SmallBizTrends.com! She is the Author of Career Transition-make the shift, a personal branding strategist, social media catalyst, writer and speaker. She hosts a weekly blog and a small business radio podcast with over 240k downloads. Deborah’s articles are featured on and regularly quoted in SmallBizTrends.com, Forbes.com, Entrepreneur.com, PersonalBrandingBlog.com and Monster. Engage with her @DeborahShane and visit her at DeborahShane.com.

Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

What Do I Say Now?!

Kathleen & Don Thoren, Guest Author

Has someone said something and you weren’t sure what to say back? Seconds tick by and your mind screams, “What do I say now?!” or “Why did I say that?!”

My wife, Kathleen, taught me to say, with curiousity, “Isn’t that interesting” and then… STOP TALKING.

The beauty of this neutral comment is that it turns the conversation back to the other person and…

1. Gives you a chance to think
2. Gives you an immediate response, but you haven’t really said anything or expressed an opinion yet.
3. Gives you a chance to change the way you are listening from a JUDGE OF what was said to an INVESTIGATOR INTO what they meant.

It’s best to ask questions to gain understanding when you are not sure how to respond. However, avoid the “why” question, as it is often received as argumentative. Now, you have your best chance of feeling comfortable with what you say back.

Next… begin investigating for greater understanding.

Here are “FOUR INVESTIGATIVE QUESTIONS” to use. Good questioning techniques save time and improve communication satisfaction.

Opening Questions – These questions cannot be answered with a yes or no. They start with who, what, when, where, and how. Don’t use “why”. Asking these starts the other person talking allowing you to gain clarity.

Encouraging Questions – These questions sound like… “is there more?…and then what?…uh huh?”…with non-verbal nodding. These encourage the person to provide additional information and feelings so you gain a fuller understanding.

Checking Questions – These questions can be answered ‘yes or no’. You are seeking verification about what you think you heard before moving to a conclusion, action step, or completion of the conversation.

Commitment Seeking Questions – This are designed to get a definite “yes” or “no” response. Examples are: will you? do you? should we?

Copyright © 2013 – Kathleen & Don Thoren. Don Thoren helps organizations and people explore their future “could be” and develop plans and skills in its pursuit. Don has been a professional speaker for more than 30 years. He is a member of National Speakers Association and the “Speaker Hall of Fame.” Contact Don Thoren at the Thoren Group in Tempe, AZ.

Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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It’s What You DO – Not Where You Are That Counts

Floyd Wickman, Guest Author

I am always so excited to see sales professionals hit their stride and realize the goals that they’ve set for themselves. It’s an amazing rush and an enormous privilege for me and all of our trainers to be able to inspire and teach folks the skills they need to help create amazing careers and lives for themselves. It means even more sometimes when you know someone has truly come from behind, battled the odds to get to where they are and you see them beaming with pride because they reached a milestone they set for themselves.

I believe in the underdog – don’t you? Heck, I was the underdog (or ‘undertaker’ for those of you who remember THAT story!) And I know first hand that adversity can be a rocket booster that fires you up or the anchor that cements you in mediocrity or failure. NEVER let that anchor win friends. Life’s too short to be rooted in old habits, negative attitudes or “stinkin thinkin” as Zig would say.

No matter who you are, where you come from, how much money you have in the bank or what kind of car you drive — you can do extraordinary things when you set your mind to it and take the ACTION to make it happen. I’m living proof as are thousands of successful salespeople I’ve met along the way. Sound like something YOU want to do too?

Here are four good places to start…

1. Inside your own head. We are our own best cheerleaders or enemies aren’t we? I always say, “no one ever built a monument to a critic,” and that includes being our own relentless critic. Find the affirmations that work for you and make them part of your daily routine, morning, midday and night – (and even in between for ‘those’ kind of days.) It’s like fuel for your brain and spirit and affirmations can take you to amazing places!

2. Inside your own body. You know, as I’ve gotten older I’ve never been more aware of how important it is to take care of YOURSELF. You’re given one body in this lifetime – take care of it and it will take care of you. When you are healthier, you can face each day brighter, ready for anything and have the energy to do more, achieve more and reach further.

3. Inside your circle. Did you know that statistics show that most people would prefer to work with the same salesperson again but they don’t because the salesperson never stays in TOUCH? Sales is not about the product or service – sales is about PEOPLE. Connecting with them. Re-connecting with them. Creating powerful, long-lasting relationships. Commit to building and maintaining a book of business so strong that you are top of mind and those that know you care and trust you enough to both do business with you and refer you to their circles.

4. Inside the present. Boy, I know folks that are carrying enough guilt, grief, bad feelings, old habits, and coulda, shoulda, wouldas for a hundred people are more. Cut it loose. As they say – you can’t grab hold of the good stuff TODAY if you’re still holding on to all the bad stuff from the PAST. Today is a gift friends – open it with care.

I have faith that ANYONE can overcome adversity and beat the odds and create the life they want. Absolutely ANYONE. If you need help along the way – connect with one of our trainers or R-Squared groups. You won’t find people more passionate about helping each other succeed, I promise you that!

Copyright © 2013 – Floyd Wickman. For more than 40 years, Floyd Wickman and his organizations have transformed the lives of hundreds of thousands of real estate professionals across the globe. Floyd Wickman is a member of the coveted and prestigious National Speaker Association Hall of Fame and has earned the Council of Peer’s Award of Excellence designation. This honor is shared by speaking industry legends such as Dr. Norman Vincent Peal, Zig Ziglar, and Og Mandino. Visit Floyd’s Website!

Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Networking Events Are a Waste of Time – Unless You Attend Strategically

David Nour, Guest Author

If asked, seven out of ten people will tell you they hate networking events. And yet, we generally recognize they’re necessary. Why? Because we all need strategic business relationships – those relationships with people who can really help you grow toward your personal and professional goals. Certain individuals can help accelerate your ability to achieve your goals. I call these “right people” pivotal contacts. If you don’t have a portfolio full of them, you need networking events.

Pivotal contacts are leaders among their peers. They are “movers and shakers” in their companies, industry verticals, communities. Your pivotal contacts are typically one or two business stature levels above yours. Does that mean they’re out of reach? No – not if you know how to use networking events strategically, to open doors that accelerate your access to them.

There are really only three things you can accomplish at any networking event:

Build Rapport. Demonstrate that you are personable, engaging, well-read and well-spoken, likable.
Establish Credibility. Ask questions that show you know your stuff. This is much more important than any answers you provide! Through your questions, you ascertain whether an individual can be strategic in helping you achieve your goals.
Determine Next Steps – if any! If you have achieved rapport and credibility, you’ve probably discovered something you can do for this individual. In strategic relationships, performance trumps all—which makes this your opportunity to deepen a temporary connection by offering a next step and delivering on it. (But only if you’ve determined this individual is indeed worth further investment of your time.)

Rapport, credibility, next steps; that’s it. To make those fundamentals work for you at future networking events, focus on three key areas:

Mindset. Pick events where you can engage and focus on your target audience. You really can’t build any meaningful relationships at these networking events—you can only lay the groundwork, through the three steps above. So pick your events carefully. Choose only those that will be “target-rich environments,” where your most likely target audience will be in attendance. To choose wisely, you will need clear goals for your networking. Relationship-centric goals come in three types: direct (quantifiable), influence (likely to help things to fall in place on your behalf), and equity (intangible brand-builders). Which outcome will you focus on in at networking events?

Roadmap. Act strategically before, during, and after, leaving nothing to chance. Map out your calendar for the month with the most compelling events. This is your chance to cast a wide net, so include events that extend your circle of influence – if you’re running into the same people everywhere you go, your circle is too small. Take more chances! Research whether your pivotal contacts attend. Event organizers can help.

When you attend an event, show up early and leave late. Engage only as many individuals as you feel comfortable with; don’t rush. Choose opening questions that plant a seed of interest. (No, I’m not going to give you a “perfect” opening question: you have to come straight from your own authenticity.) Use your emotional intelligence to judge how best to make each conversation partner feel comfortable; it’s not just what you say, but how you are, that makes a positive first impression.

You can buy drinks for others if you feel moved to do so and it is appropriate to the setting. Really interesting conversations deserve your generosity. But professional networking events aren’t date nights, so keep it polished and professional. Give your focused attention to others. Listen more than you speak. While your aim is to engage and influence, you want to leave them wanting more. If you sense a potential strategic relationship, offer to exchange business cards.

Click cover for info!

The toughest act for most networkers is the disappearing act. How can you disengage, so as not to spend 45 minutes with one person? It’s easier than you think. For example, if you see someone else you know, you can introduce them – then ease away, leaving them to get to know each other. If you notice someone else you’d like to meet, you can excuse yourself by saying you need to talk with someone. And don’t forget, you can simply maneuver the conversation to a close by offering a handshake and saying, “It’s been nice to meet you.” Most people will instinctively pick up on the cue and respond likewise. After all, they didn’t come to this event to spend 45 minutes with you, either.

After the networking event, follow up. As soon as possible, pull out the business cards you’ve collected. On the backs, write when and where you met, some context of the conversation, and any next steps. Become brilliant at offering follow-ups that deliver unique value based on what you learned about each contact. That might include introducing that contact to someone else of interest or value, or sending a report or article you mentioned in your conversation. Add those steps to your calendar. Be absolutely 100 percent reliable in following through on anything that can deepen that momentary contact. Send a personal, hand-written note and you’re dramatically better off than an impersonal “nice to have met you” e-mail.

Toolset. Always carry plenty of business cards, a pen, and a pocket note holder. Dress at the level of the pivotal contacts you aspire to meet – don’t stint on your professional appearance. Your toolset also includes your calendar, to-do list, and any other self-management tools you use, because networking requires your attention before, during, and after every event.

Plan your networking event schedule;, show up prepared to maximize the time you invest; and follow through in ways that deliver value – not just a transaction! If you are engaging, adding value to every interaction, and delivering on short-term commitments, your behavior will elevate you above the noise.

Remember, there are really only three things you can accomplish at any networking event: You can build rapport, establish criteria, and determine if any next steps are needed. Networking is casting a wide net with large holes. You go to meet lots of people—and let those who are not relevant to you slip away with minimum fuss. To be sure you harvest sufficient return on the investment of your time, focus on the biggest fish in the net and appeal to them with your value-adds.

Nour Takeaways:

1. Network with the goal of building rapport, establishing credibility, and determining next steps with potential pivotal contacts.
2. Pay attention to your mindset, roadmap, and toolset: the three components of your networking strategy.
3. Rise above the noise by following up with the right people, delivering unique value based on what you learned about them.

BONUS Article: Networking Events are a Waste of Time…

Copyright © 2013 – David Nour. David Nour is an enterprise growth strategist and the thought leader on Relationship Economics® – the quantifiable value of business relationships. In a global economy that is becoming increasingly disconnected, The Nour Group, Inc. has attracted consulting engagements from HP, Siemens, Amerinet and over 100 marquee organizations in driving unprecedented growth through unique return on their strategic relationships. Nour has pioneered the phenomenon that relationships are the greatest off balance sheet asset any organizations possesses, large and small, public and private. He is the author of several books including the best selling, “Relationship Economics” – Revised (Wiley), ConnectAbility (McGraw-Hill), The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Raising Capital (Praeger) and Return on Impact – Leadership Strategies for the age of Connected Relationships (ASAE). Learn more at www.NourGroup.com

Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/