Is Your Business Card Costing You Business?

Brian Feinblum, Guest Author

The public relations firm that I work for, MEDIA CONNECT, is a division of Finn Partners, a Ruder Finn Co. We recently renamed ourselves (formerly Planned Television Arts) upon celebrating our 50th anniversary this past month. As part of our new branding efforts, it was decided that our business cards would include our individual photo on the back, spanning the full size of the card.

Surprisingly, our staff was split over the idea. Some felt a business card shouldn’t have photos. After all, we are not a real estate business! Others, like myself, felt it was a nice touch. We are in the people business and a personal feel is important. Besides, who can be in PR and be shy?

People see our faces all over the place; on our Web site and on one’s social media profiles and pages, etc. I don’t get too many business cards that contain photos and I collect a lot of cards. But I think most people don’t think of putting a photo on or don’t want to lay out extra money to do so. I see it as an advantage to have my photo on there, but perhaps if one has concerns about their looks, age, or that one will see their demographic makeup from viewing their photo, they should avoid the photo thing. If you’re in the Witness Protection Program, don’t put your photo on the card.

What I don’t like about business cards is this:

• Ones with airbrushed photos or outdated Glamour Shots are tacky.
• Oversized cards are dumb—if I can’t put it in my wallet, it goes in the garbage.
• Cards that lack key information such as Web site, email address, or phone (do you want me to contact you or not?).
• Cards with too much information—three cell numbers, four websites, and a bunch of Facebook pages (no one is checking out all this crap).
• When the card is not easily readable—small font, distracting background, not enough white space.
• When the card is too thin and flimsy—if it feels light you’re a lightweight.
• When the card lacks texture, raised printing, or color—cheap and boring.
• Gimmicky attempts to desperately convey an image that is not consistent with who you really are.
• People who cross out information or cover it with a label—how lazy are you?

I once was contacted by a vender about creating 3D cards with photos. What’s next – a halogram?

Cards can have slogans as long as they don’t sound like a Chinese fortune cookie saying.

And if you are one of those people who say they ran out of business cards, I can only conclude one of three things:

1. You’re so busy that you need to print more cards up (wow!)
2. You really forgot them (shame on you)
3. You don’t want me to contact you ever again (sigh)

Some think they don’t need them, that paper cards are as fashionable as owning a printed encyclopedia. But no matter how green or cool you hope to be, you still need a business card.

A business card is one of many things that make impressions upon another and contribute to influencing whether our relationship will continue and develop. When you first meet someone you quickly assess many things, such as:

• The firmness of their handshake.
• If they look you in the eye when talking.
• If they sound genuine—or genuine bullshitters.
• Their energy level.
• The harmony of their voice.
• Dress appropriateness.
• If they are attractive.
• Their vocabulary range.
• Their sense of humor.
• Their overall trustworthiness vibe.
• If you feel a connection.

Okay, so you’re not dating or banging every person you meet, but let’s face it, you want to like those whom you do business with. So remember to make sure your business card is special. Consider adding a photo of yourself or Photoshop someone more attractive and slap it on your card. If people really like you, chances are they won’t look too closely at the photo. And if you decide someone is not card-worthy just tell them, “Sorry, I am fresh out of cards.”

BONUS Articles: What About Business Cards…
When Business Cards Aren’t Enough
Give Your Brand Personal “Curb Appeal” at Networking Events!
Networking is NOT a Card Game…
Eight Cringe-Worthy Networking Blunders

Copyright 2012 – Brian Feinblum. Brian Feinblum, MEDIA CONNECT is a book marketing Blogger. You can follow him on Twitter and e-mail him at: brianfeinblum@gmail.com.

Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Be an Information Hub

The most successful networkers I know are truly “information hubs.” They are not only on the lookout for business leads for their networking buddies, they pass along valuable bits of information, tips, creative ideas and more as well.

Create “relevancy” with your networking friends. Be on the lookout for creative ideas, tips, etc., that are relevant to their business. Relevance makes people choose you and your company over others. Hear of a good deal? Tell the others in your network of support.

Pass along a Tweet about someone’s business to your followers – along with a link to their Website. Sometimes I do this without telling them, knowing that we are so well connected that they will soon hear about it from someone else. People love good news – it will help keep you on the top of your customers’ minds.

Always offer additional insight when you can. Be well read. Become a repository of the great information. Have something worthwhile to say (that will assist them with their business) and be able to say it well. Good communication is an art and networkers who master the subtle nuances involved when it comes to talking to other networkers can be far more effective than those who don’t. Be on the lookout for what other people need.

Scan the local newspapers and magazines for articles that might have ideas that can solve one of their problems. If you see a great article in a business magazine that effectively addresses a current and/or difficult issue a fellow networker is facing, send them a copy of the article with a brief note with your business card, “Charlie, I thought this might interest you.” If you bump into a Website or Blog that might be of interest, send them the link by e-mail.

Ask lots of questions to discover ways you can assist others. Talking before listening is a no-no. Listen to their “elevator pitch” (I call it a “30-second Connection“) for clues of how you might help. Talk about “their” business, not yours. Discover “their” needs before offering your ideas, suggestions, etc. If they publish an eZINE or e-mail newsletter ask to be on their list. Get on their Twitter list and take a look at their Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn pages. Watch for ways you can help.

Savvy networkers know that if you want to boost loyalty among others in your network you have to become a powerful resource for them. It’s a great way to create attention for you and your business.

My friend, Kristi Lee in the Greater Phoenix area, is a great example of that. She is the Founding Partner & Director of Marketing at Bridging The Gap Consulting – a firm that specializes in cultural sensitivity training, conversational business Chinese, corporate and individual training on how to conduct business in China. She is the winner of the “2011 Positively Powerful Woman Award for Nonprofit Leadership.” She has a successful network marketing business with Send Out Cards and received the prestigious “Freedom Award” voted by the top leaders of Send Out Cards in Arizona for “Exceptional Leadership and Dedication.” Kristi is one of the most enthusiastic and highly proficient networkers I have ever met. She lives, breathes and eats networking and is always ready with creative ideas that will help you market your business. She is the best example of someone who is an “information hub” that I know.

By sharing great ideas, information, tips, etc., you are building a psychological debt and although you do it without expecting anything in return (that way you won’t be disappointed if they don’t reciprocate) it is more likely that they will also begin to look for a way to repay you with ideas, information, tips, etc., or better yet – quality business leads. By doing this the debt is paid.

“Get creative, think outside of the box. Keep asking yourself, what are my customer’s and prospect’s problems, needs, concerns, and challenges that have nothing to do with my products or services?” ~ Tim Connor

Are “you” an information hub or a walking, talking brochure who speaks only of “your” business? Others in your network are making snap judgments about you and the way you present yourself. Being an information hub makes you a major competitor – someone who is ready to share what they know without expecting anything in return.

Becoming a great networker is like everything else. You have to work at it. Become a source of information – it creates credibility and confidence. It moves you to a position of influence. It’s also a terrific marketing strategy and business lead generator for you and your business. Begin today to brand yourself as an “information hub.”

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Do You Vet Your New Networking Members?

No new members of networking clubs, leads or tips groups, etc. should be un-vetted!

Vetting; Verb. – Pertaining to an investigation. Vetting is a process of examination and evaluation, generally referring to performing a background check on someone before offering him or her employment, conferring an award, etc. A thorough and diligent review of a prospective person or project prior to a hiring or investment decision. Investigate (someone) thoroughly, especially in order to ensure that they are suitable for a job requiring secrecy, loyalty, or trustworthiness.

Never recommend a new member (or a business) unless you know them and trust them. Finding talented people to include in your network is a talent unto itself. This hunt should be energizing, exciting and inclusive of many different people to serve all the member’s needs.

If you are going to take business networking seriously, then all members should be screened and vetted. How can you truly support or refer someone you don’t know very well (or trust)? It wouldn’t hurt to talk to their past customers, and business associates. Why so picky? There is so much at stake. Why? Because every time you refer someone in your group to someone else you stake your reputation on their performance. Never underestimate how bad performance reflects upon you. A vetted connector is a powerful connector and powerful connectors network better together.

Rather than leaving it to chance, you’re much better off vetting your new members. Form a special committee of three or five members to screen the applications of new members. Develop some guidelines and stick to them. Trusting your fellow networkers helps you establish solid business relationships which helps in the development and exchange of quality business referrals.

The comprehensive nature of vetting will sometime include private investigation services and social networking monitoring to ensure an accurate profile and honorable reputation of the person being considered for membership. What is their reputational capital? Vetting requirements give the group the ability to make the claim that their members are honorable and trustworthy.

From a new member’s point of view vetting will cause them to think twice about using techniques that might be frowned upon by the group. It demonstrates the groups reliance on professional standards. It helps weed out the losers. When you make it a little harder to join the group, in general, people become more interested. Very few groups go to the trouble of vetting new members. That’s exactly why your group might want to consider doing it. It will help develop dedicated business bonds with others in your group.

A close alliance with all members – not just the new ones – that reduces rogue behavior and benefits many should be what you are looking for. The objective is to protect, support, serve and reassure your members that the reputations of all members are checked before they can join the group.

To me it’s a selling point when I refer someone to my friends. I can honestly say, “I work with a network of trusted, vetted and elite business professionals whose integrity is assured.”

I know to some this may seem extreme. Why is vetting important? Because we want to know that the new member is who they say they are. I started 10 business networking groups when I lived in Tulsa many years ago. All of our members were vetted before they could join – they had to provide references which were all checked before their membership was accepted and approved. What that meant to the group was that every single member could be trusted and recommended with complete confidence.

BONUS Article: How Do I Build My Professional Network?
Evaluate Your Business Networking Group

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Networking How-to: Lend Your Social Capital

Kathy McAfee, Guest Author

I recently read the book “Knowing Your Value: Women, Money and Getting What You’re Worth,” by Mika Brzezinski, co-host of Morning Joe TV news show. I rarely read books cover to cover, but this one captivated me from start to finish. It is an empowering collection of interviews and self-reflection of career women and men who have had to struggle to get paid what they are worth.

Click book cover for more info

As a board member of the YWCA Hartford Region, I have learned more about the barriers associated with women’s economic empowerment. The wage gap between men and women remains significant: with women earning approximately 77.4 cents for every dollar men earn in the USA. (check out the stats on http://www.pay-equity.org/). That figure hasn’t changed much in the past 16 years.

Lack of sponsorship, mentors and networks

Towards the end of Brzezinski’s book, she makes the statement that “Lack of sponsorship, mentors and networks: this was a recurring theme in almost all my conversations on the subject of women and compensation.”

I have written about the subject of mentoring, and I’ve become really intrigued with the concept of sponsorship and sponsoring others in the work place. I will be dedicating a much larger article on this subject on my other web site: MarketingMotivator.net early next month.

Here’s how Brzezinski defines sponsorship: “A sponsor: someone who is willing to use their own social capital to help pull another up the corporate ladder.“

What is social capital?

I did a quick on-line search of this term and found a graduate student named Tristan Claridge who completed a Masters thesis on social capital theory in 2004 at the University of Queensland in Australia. He created a web site – http://www.socialcapitalresearch.com/ . Broadly, his definition of social capital includes reference to social networks and the productive benefits stemming from them. That sounds like networking to me!

Let me take my stab about defining what social capital is and how to use it to create opportunities for yourself and others.

“Social capital is an intangible but powerful asset that you can create for yourself when you network and build relationships with others in your professional and personal life. The power of your social capital is enhanced when you share and exchange it with others to create mutual benefit. Keeping it all to yourself does you little good.” ~ Kathy McAfee, America’s Marketing Motivator

Lending Social Capital

The next time you ask someone for an introduction or a favor, think about it like a banker. You are dealing with a different kind of capital: not money per se but relationship equity. This is tied directly to their reputation – something that has taken a very long time for them to establish and considerable effort to maintain.

• The role of the lender of social capital. You don’t have to accept every request. Assess the risk of the borrower. Understand how they plan to use your social capital and to what end. Ask tons of questions. Assess their character and integrity. Can they be trusted with your asset? Will they represent you well? Be selective and be very clear about your expectations of usage and repayment with the borrower. When you agree, act swiftly on your offer. Set up the arrangements to transfer the social capital and make the personal introductions. Monitor their progress…

• The role of the borrower of social capital. Know why you want to borrow their social capital and what you plan on doing with it. Make a convincing case that you will protect and honor their social capital and do only good with it. Keep them updated as to the status of your investment of their social capital. Pay it back (or pay it forward as agreed upfront) with plenty of interest and principle. If they decline your request, do not take it personally. Find another source or another way to get what you need.

Put this idea into action with your networking goal for this week (see below).

Your Networking Goal for the Week

Reflect back on the people in your professional life who have lent you their social capital. Perhaps they sponsored you in some way that paved the way for new opportunity and growth in your career. If so, reach out this week and thank you personally. Let them know what they did for you was significant and greatly appreciated. Time now to pay it forward by helping someone else in a significant way by lending your social capital. Who in your organization or in your network has impressed you? Who do you believe is high potential talent and just needs greater access and resources to realize it? Who could you introduce them to that could create opportunities for them? I want you to think and act like a lender of social capital. Then and only then do you have the right to borrow.

BONUS Article: Networking Mentors – Be One and Find One
Networking… The New Renewable Resource

Copyright 2012 – Kathy McAfee. Kathy McAfee is America’s Marketing Motivator and author of the book Networking Ahead for Business (Kiwi Publishing 2010). In her role as an Executive Presentation Coach and Motivational Speaker, Kathy helps her clients become the recognized leaders in their field by mastering the arts of high engagement presentations and more effective networking. Learn more at her Website: MarketingMotivator.net and NetworkingAhead.com.

Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

The 25 People You Need in Your Network

Adelaide Lancaster, Guest Author

As an entrepreneur (or aspiring one!), you constantly hear about the value of expanding your network. But the truth is, when it comes to business relationships, it’s not quantity that matters – it’s quality. Having memorable, substantial relationships with people who understand your business and can help you over time is the real key to networking success.

So, instead of forcing yourself to meet and greet as many new people as possible, spend your time focusing on a few strategic relationships. You can get all the inspiration, information, resources, and connections you need to move your business forward from five people in each of five strategic areas. Read on for how to build your 25-person power network.

5 Trailblazers – People With Similar But More Established Businesses

Acknowledging that great businesses have come before you doesn’t make you any less smart or capable, and it doesn’t make your company any less successful. So don’t necessarily look at the established companies in your field as competition—instead, see them as your mentors! Learning what they’ve done well and what they wished they’d done differently can give you insight on what’s worked, plus help you avoid learning things the hard way. Don’t be shy here—pick a few of your role models, take them to lunch, and do a lot of listening.

5 Role Models – Businesses Who You Admire in Another Industry

It’s also important to get out of your own sandbox. It’s easy to be focused solely on your industry, but that really limits you from seeing the innovation and ingenuity that exists elsewhere. Smart entrepreneurship is all about transferrable learning. Think about other industries you find interesting and what they might teach you about your own business or customers. What about their tactics and techniques could be incorporated into your own shop? Pick five people you find fascinating in a wide variety of industries—and learn everything you can from them.

5 Thought Leaders – Smart People Who Make You Think Differently

Similarly, you should connect to people who help you broaden your perspective and see the world in a different light. These may be entrepreneurs, but they certainly don’t have to be – they can be anyone who asks the tough questions and doesn’t mind pushing the envelope once in a while. Make sure that a couple people in this group are those who you don’t automatically agree with. Few business strategies are automatically right or wrong, and people who challenge what you tend to think can be a great check and balance for your decisions.

5 Informants – People that Love Being in the Know

As an entrepreneur, you’ll spend much of your time thinking about the things that you don’t know—business strategy, technical details, resources, rules, you name it. Of course, all of that info is out there somewhere, but it still requires lots of time sifting through unvetted leads to find. Fortunately, some people pride themselves on being walking encyclopedias. Get to know them. Ask them questions often, and take them to coffee to pick their brain from time to time. (In return, be sure to share your resources and experiences, too.)

5 Cheerleaders – Your Entrepreneurial Pals

Perhaps most importantly, you need your posse: your confidantes who will cheer you on when things are great, and hear about the worst (with no judgment) when they’re not. After all, entrepreneurship isn’t for the faint of heart, and only other entrepreneurs can truly understand the complex happiness/exhaustion relationship that comes with running a business. Make sure that you have people you can count on to help out when you need it most. (And make sure to reciprocate by lending an ear, hand, or shoulder when they need it, too.)

When you’re putting together this list, remember to have fun with it – these should be people you want to learn from and spend time with! Many slots will be filled by your friends and existing contacts, but don’t be afraid to think big. Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest are making it easier than ever to cultivate relationships with and get information from anyone, even VIPs. Reach out and ask – you might be surprised at who’s willing to help.

Copyright 2012 – Adelaide Lancaster. Adelaide Lancaster is an entrepreneur, consultant, speaker and co-author of The Big Enough Company: Creating a business that works for you (Portfolio/Penguin). She is also the co-founder of In Good Company Workplaces, a first-of-its-kind community, learning center and co-working space for women entrepreneurs in New York City. She is also a contributor to The Huffington Post and writes The Big Enough Company blog for Forbes.com. She lives in Philadelphia, PA with her husband and daughter.

Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Do You Support the Networking Tip Jar?

Supporting the networking tip jar is about giving back. The tip jar represents the members of your group and the business leads you have given them.

When you give someone in your network a business lead, think of it as a way of investing in your future. What you give, you get. Many networkers focus mostly on the getting part, not giving. That’s backwards. You first determine what kind of leads someone needs then you give it. It’s not that much of a puzzle. That’s what makes the pieces of the networking puzzle fit together!

If you want to get noticed in your network become a networking philanthropist. Plug into the power of intention. When you intend to be a business lead giver, you become more aware of those who need leads and the opportunity to find leads to give. Be a big time contributor. Contribute your energy by being “active” in your group.

There are other ways to contribute to others in your network beside giving business leads. You can give information. Donate links to blogs and articles that support the benefits of networking. You can give your attention to someone in your network who may need some support in getting started in networking. That is supporting the networking tip jar. Give your time to your group by making a presentation that isn’t just about you but offers networking tips, etc.

If you have had success from networking, share your wisdom and advice. Your knowledge has value. Do everything you can to be the champion lead giver.

Be aware of networkers who take and rarely ever give and only want to “pick your brain.” Networking is supposed to be a “reciprocal process” based on the “exchange” of ideas, advice, referrals, leads and contacts. To be effective it must be done in a true spirit of sharing.

Volunteering your services to your networking group is supporting the networking tip jar. That may come in the form of assisting members at the name-tag desk. I like this idea because you get to meet all the members of the group more quickly.

Start a special project and solicit others in your group to support it. Attach the name of your group to the project to attract others to your group.

Supporting the networking tip jar is having an unselfish concern for the welfare of others. The gifts that one receives from giving back and from reaching out to help others are immense and priceless.

BONUS Article: NEVER Give Referrals to Crazy People in Your Network!

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

7 Keys to Help You Turn Up Your “Burn!”

I’ve been thinking lately about people who complain that networking really doesn’t work for them. I’m thinking that perhaps it’s really them who is not working at their business as effectively as they could. I’m also thinking that many of those people I meet have lost the spark that drives their business. Their flame for what they do is but a flicker. They have become discouraged, disappointed and are not quite sure what they should do about it.

It’s time we change that. Turn up your “burn!” Light a fire under yourself! Give yourself a good kick in the pants (or panties), get off your butt and do what is necessary to get back in the game. There are many effective proven ways to regain the burn. Doing nothing is not one of them.

Discouraged, disappointed or whatever, you have to take the first step while you are floundering around in the dodo. It’s call starting fresh. Beginning again. Starting over. You must rediscover the desire to excel. The desire to excel is an amazing flotation device. It keeps you from going down for the third time. The uncertainty of discouragement and disappointment can take its toll.

You have to learn to be a trail blazer again. To get excited about the career path you have taken or jump ship and do something different. Get back the sparkle in your eyes. Move forward on instinct. Never let them see you sweat. Demand that extraordinary become mandatory!

How do you turn up your “burn?”

1. Unclutter your mind. Let go of those thoughts that keep you stuck. How do you do that when you are discouraged and disappointed with the way things are going? It’s simple. . . not easy. You change your thoughts to what you want instead of staying on the destructive path that leads you in an endless loop – getting you nowhere. It’s important to have clearer thinking if your want to be successful in business networking. Think something different. Make it a habit to change your thinking to what you want whenever you catch yourself backsliding.

One of the biggest obstacles your business faces is the way you think. Never say, “This isn’t working!” Instead focus on a solution instead of the problem. This take strong mental discipline. Are you afraid of failure? Ask yourself, “What would I do if I were not afraid?” then do that! Or, “What would I do if I knew I could not fail?” Give yourself some brain food – fresh thoughts that make you feel good and help you to move forward. Quiet your mind – think only of what you want. Test some positive thoughts. If things have been stagnate for a long time, this won’t happen overnight, but you must stay on track.

2. Go back to school. Maintain your brain. Begin to study the success traits of those who are doing what you want to do. Find a mentor. Follow a leader in your field. Read a good book that energizes your mind and stimulates your thinking at least once a month. My friend and professional speaker, Larry Winget, reads about 50 books a year. You’ve probably seen him on A & E, and national television or heard him speak somewhere in the U.S. If he can do all that and keep as busy as he is, so can you. Never say, “I don’t have time to read a book!” Perhaps you may want to consider “making” some time to read. If you only devote 15 minutes to reading everyday you can read no less than 15 books a year (you probably spend that much time in the bathroom each day). A commitment to read everyday takes strong mental discipline. When you stay focused your attitude changes from one of self-defeat to one that has you begin to feel good about yourself. It jump starts a good attitude. And you know what they say, “Attitude is everything!”

3. Improve your relationships. Studies show that your relationship with your significant other or spouse has a corresponding effect on your business relationships and your success. What happens in your day-to-day private life, especially your close relationships has the potential of intruding subtly, and often not so subtly into your daily working lives. When it comes to the workplace, in the past many managers have tended to ignore the personal, and private emotions of their staff in situations of conflict at home.

Novus Card Services (the Discover Card people) hired me twice to come in a talk to their people about the importance of having a good relationship at home. The HR person told me that “if things weren’t working at home it was noticeable in their productivity at the office.” Bravo for Novus! The stress of conflict at home follows you to the office. It’s important to do damage control when things at home get out of balance – and do it quickly. Express love for family and it spills over into your business relationships. If you are bankrupt in the relationship department at home, your business relationship may follow suite.

4. Truth rocks! Maintain a high level of integrity. Treat others with honesty and respect. The Golden Rule of Engagement is: Always tell the truth. It sounds simple, and it’s really important. If the customers trust you, they will come back. If others in your network trust you amazing things happen. Honesty pays great benefits. Winston Churchill once said, “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on.”

5. Hang with the right people. If you don’t you are susceptible to boredom. Successful people associate with people who are like minded, focused, and supportive. Like attracts like. Smart people usually hang out with other smart people. Be a smart person. (See #2 above). People who are smart are fun to communicate with. I admit that not all of the people I hang out with are smart (you know who you are… ) however most are not into trying to impress me with who they are. Smart people usually don’t do that. Half of being smart is knowing what your dumb at! If you have been in the business for any length of time you know that many people around you are content to live mediocre lives. Not me! The point is: you can learn a lot from people who are doing what needs to be done. They are disciplined and decisive. They focus on being productive, not just being busy. Most work outside of their comfort zone. They take calculated risks. They maintain a positive outlook as they learn from their mistakes. You can learn from that.

6. Love what you do. It is important to “love” what you do. If you don’t love what you do you should find something else to do. Doing what you love doesn’t feel like work. There is a sign in my office that reads, “If it feels like work, you must be doing something wrong!”

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.” ~ Steve Jobs, Apple

7. Repent! Forgive yourself for all your past bad business and networking habits and begin again. There is no shame in starting over. Turn over a new leaf. Make some new choices – choices that you promise yourself to maintain. No excuses. Green lights and straight ahead!

Money is often the center of conflict if things aren’t working at work. (Note: To me, that pretty much proves that, “What happens in our day-to-day private lives, especially our close relationships has the potential of intruding subtly, and often not so subtly into our daily working lives.” Interesting isn’t it?

One of my mentors, Keith Belknap, (Tulsa, OK) used to say, “You gotta have a burn!” Be on fire with what you are doing. Following the guidelines above will help you make the adjustments needed to get you back on track money-wise, networking-wise and help you to move yourself forward to more success that you can imagine. It will help change your way of looking at the world and, most important, your attitude about yourself and business networking. It will also help to to be inspired to do and be better in all that you do.

Okay! It’s time. Give yourself that “kick in the pants (or panties)” and get busy!

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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“What Do You Do For a Living?”

Kathy McAfee, Guest Author

More info? Click book cover!

Bad question! It’s so dull and predictable. “What do you do?” is equally a bad choice. Worse yet you usually get a title-driven answer that rarely inspires or stimulates interesting conversation.

Networkers need to learn to ask more interesting questions – questions that stimulate and inspire; that help you connect quickly. Once you have introduced yourself and the hand shaking is out of the way, try tossing them a creative conversation starter such as:

“Who has been a very influential person in your career/work life? How did he/she help you?”

or

“What is one thing that you hope to accomplish this year? Why is that important to you?”

or

“Share a personal goal that most people would be surprised to hear.”

Read, “Conversation Starters” by Kathy McAfee. It’s a list of 40 sample questions to get your networking conversation started.

Copyright 2012 – Kathy McAfee. Kathy McAfee is America’s Marketing Motivator and author of the book Networking Ahead for Business (Kiwi Publishing 2010). In her role as an Executive Presentation Coach and Motivational Speaker, Kathy helps her clients become the recognized leaders in their field by mastering the arts of high engagement presentations and more effective networking. Learn more at her Website: MarketingMotivator.net and NetworkingAhead.com.

Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
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How to Build a Bridge of Connection

Jenny Davidow, Guest Author

How do you react to differences in others? Are you curious to learn more, or do you get impatient and put off? Will your reactions build a barrier or a bridge of connection? It’s up to you.

At work and in all aspects of life, I guarantee that you will meet people who don’t see the world like you do. People who don’t operate the same way you do. They may have very different goals and values. They may dress differently. They may speak differently. They may be from a different culture. Or they may look and sound just like you, but you still notice the differences.

In “The Art of Connecting,” the authors suggest that every individual is a “culture of one.” Because we are each unique, we have our own preferences. And our preferences make us “different” from others. Although much has been said about the value of diversity in team-building and society, still, in practice, I observe again and again that different preferences can get judged as “difficult” in either business or personal relationships.

This judgment gets us into trouble, because we are focusing on the negative, on how someone is not like us. Right away, there is a barrier, a polarization.

Learn how to build a bridge of connection, no matter how different, or difficult, someone is.

When you find yourself in a job, group or relationship with someone who is very different from you, the task of building a bridge of connection may seem daunting. Here is a short list of ways in which you can start:

• Make an offer. In terms borrowed from improv performance, whatever words or gestures you make with the intention to make a connection is an “offer.” An offer is an invitation to connect, to find commonality.

An offer can be as simple as a hello and a warm smile. If it is returned in kind, your offer was accepted. Build on that by making another offer, and another. Each time the connection will get stronger.

• Set a conscious intention to build a bridge of connection. Your intention is key. Even if your efforts are clumsy, if your intention is friendly, respectful and interested, your offer for connection is still positive.

• Find common ground. If you are engaged in a business deal with someone who is very different from you, remind yourself of ways in which you will both benefit from a successful outcome. Find common ground and shared humanity. For example, talk about your kids or your pets. Always assume that you and the other person have something in common. There is always the potential for a bridge of connection.

Whatever you focus on, you get more of. If you focus on differences, you will become polarized. If you focus on commonality, you get more connection.

• Be curious and respectful. Curiosity is one of the top five qualities of people who are most satisfied in life. Curiosity creates new pathways and connections in the brain. The more pathways, the more flexibility and creativity.

• Search for similarities. Think about interests or experiences you may have in common. Share something that is important to you, such as a love of children, gardening, hiking, etc. Tell a little about your last visit or outing. Ask what the other person likes to do to relax or have fun.Observe visual cues: Malcolm Gladwell, in his book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, describes how researchers could make detailed observations about personality and preferences, describing a student they never met, simply because they paid attention to how the student organized and decorated his or her dorm room.

Use your powers of observation to note the other person’s style and preferences: Does the other person seem formal or informal in the way she or he speaks and talks? Is his or her energy level high, moderate or low? Notice choices in office decor and desk accessories (Are the choices personal? Is neatness and organization foremost?). Notice how he or she is dressed (casual or formal).

More info – Click book cover!

• Build nonverbal rapport. To build a bridge of connection, never underestimate the power of nonverbal communication. As much as you can, notice the pace and tone of the other person’s speech. It may not be the style you naturally prefer. Try to modify your style to match the other person’s preference, at least some of the time. This step builds rapport non-verbally.

• Build rapport through body language. Notice the other person’s way of standing or sitting. How much eye contact are they giving you? Are they smiling or not? Face the other person without being fully frontal. Let your body position be open and relaxed. Let your gaze be soft and non-challenging.

• Shape the outcome. Hold your positive intention to make a connection and let it express through your conversation and body language. Be careful about asking too many questions, as this could seem like domination. Balance your communication with some sharing about yourself, some respectful questions that could find common interests, and some attentive listening, while nodding your head. Listening well gives you what you need to put the right words together.

Most of us go into situations hoping we’ll make a good impression and be liked. Let the other person leave the meeting with the feeling of being respected and liked. Each time you meet, the bridge of connection will grow stronger.

Referenced: The Art of Connecting, by Claire Raines and Lara Ewing
Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, by Malcolm Gladwell

Copyright © 2012 by Jenny Davidow. Reprinted with permission. Jenny Davidow is a Communication Coach and clinical hypnotherapist with 30 years experience. She specializes in training and support to hone the persuasiveness and impact of your presentations – in words, body language, and print. Through subconscious communication, she accelerates change to remove blocks, boost confidence and creativity. She is the author of “Embracing Your Subconscious.” Read Jenny’s articles on her Website and Blog.

Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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BE Contribution!

Don’t just talk about how important contribution is to networking, Be it! Be contribution. Work to become known as someone who is always willing to help others in your network.

Contributing to others is one of the most important principles of networking. Before you think about asking for help from those in your network, you should ask others about their needs and offer to assist them. When you offer to help others, it is important for you to follow up on your promise.

It doesn’t pay to be selfish or self-centered. Only self-centered people reach their level of incompetence. When your energy is self-directed it is easy to lose touch with who you can be for others. Self-centeredness is an energy drain. It will have you only pay attention to yourself. Not good. “Me only” doesn’t work. It causes your focus to be on only you. Contribution is a two-way street. The famous psychiatrist, Alfred Adler said, “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow man who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from such individuals that all human failure springs.”

We are called to share our lives with others. It is important to understand that contribution can be like a candle. Have you ever noticed that a candle loses none of its power by lighting another candle? In fact, as long as a candle burns, there is no limit to the number of other candles it can light. This is because it is the channel for an energy, which comes from a limitless source.

Often, without our even being aware of it, we contribute. A simple word or gesture can serve to bring inspiration or healing to someone else’s life. Our primary responsibility is to keep our own light shining brightly! Brighten the corner where you are.

A burning candle is no less a burning candle after it has shared its flame to light another candle. Never fear that bringing light to the lives of others will deplete your own light. As with the burning candle, the Source of your light is unlimited. You can never be less than who you are when you are willing to give a part of yourself to others to make a difference in their lives. Jesus said, “Ye are the light of the world.”

It is important to remember that whatever you put out to the universe, the universe will put out to you. If you put out a negative attitude, you will attract that which you give out. If you give out good vibrations, you will find people of like mind being attracted to you. A farmer doesn’t plant corn and expect tomatoes. The Bible says it best; “You reap what you sow.”

Contribute to yourself first. Me first is okay. When you take good care of yourself, you cannot help but take good care of others. Author Cherry Hartman said, “Put yourself first. You can’t be anything for anybody else unless you take care of yourself.”

Contributing to yourself is paramount. It is most conspicuous in its absence. Be good to yourself first. You feel better when you exercise 3 or 4 times weekly for periods of 15 to 20 minutes. You feel better when you do not have to work so hard breathing the smoke from cigarettes. You feel better when you eat the right foods, take vitamins, cut out alcohol and drugs, and drink drinks without caffeine. Get lots of rest and occasionally treat yourself to a relaxing full-body massage. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The first wealth is health.” The ultimate contribution is to yourself. Take care of yourself. You are often your own biggest obstacle. It’s a contribution you must be committed to. . . first.

For you to be able to effectively contribute, you must be able to accept contribution from others. Remember, you can’t give away something you don’t have. If you are not supportable, you will find it difficult to support others. Allow others to make a contribution to you.

“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” – Edith Wharton

Make a contribution to other people. Be giving. Give unto others, as you would have them give unto you. Those who give willingly, get. Share. Make a new commitment, “Help others help themselves.” It is not possible to help someone else. It is possible to help others help themselves. Success is a by-product of contribution.

Make sure you have an understanding of the needs and interests of people in your network so you can provide them with referrals, important information, job and business leads or resources. In order to network effectively and genuinely, you must continuously contribute to others. This builds trust and credibility within your networking circles. It takes time to reach this level, and it is well worth the extra effort.

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. From the chapter, “Contribute!” in Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
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