Sarah Michel, CSP, Guest Author
Recently a brilliant friend and colleague described to me how she felt attending a professional meeting where she didn’t know anyone sitting around her as being, “awkward and painful,” when she found herself at a loss for how to break the ice with someone she doesn’t know. Here was someone who has so much to offer anyone lucky enough to engage in conversation with her but her reluctance to initiate interaction caused her to avoid eye contact and retreat inward and miss out on the potential network relationships sitting around her. These are the people that keep me up at nights.
I have had a life-long fascination with people who have a natural preference for introversion and think that they’re really bad at breaking the ice and talking to people they don’t know. These people (you know who you are) also think their bad at networking which couldn’t be farther from the truth. In my experience, they may not work the room and come away with the most business cards but the few people they do meet they will make a meaningful connection with that actually has a high chance of continuing on after the first meeting. That is how you build a great network, one relationship at a time.
In today’s constantly changing, crazy busy world, your success will be determined by the breadth of people you know and how quickly you can get the information or resource you need to do your job faster, better or easier. The more people you meet who live in worlds you don’t even know about yet, the stronger your network will be.
No matter if you’re breaking the ice online or in person, how you phrase your first opening question to capture the attention of the receiver is critical because you have less than 15 seconds to do it. People are moving at warp speed and you simply won’t break through the million thoughts running through their mind or get them to stop and pay attention to you if you’re not compelling.
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Here are ten proven ice breakers to help you break in and make out with anyone, anywhere, anytime:
• “This is my first time at a meeting like this, how about you?”
• “Tell me about yourself and how you spend most of your time?
• “What has been the best part of your week so far?”
• “What do you like doing when you’re not at work?”
• “What do you love about your profession?”
• “What’s the most interesting project you’ve worked on in the past year?
• “What keeps you up at night, what’s your biggest challenge?”
• “What’s your number one customer’s biggest concern right now?”
• “Who do you most admire in your company and why?”
• “What do you wish your coworkers really knew about you?”
I hope these ice breakers will give you the confidence to start conversations that will lead to amazing connections and opportunities for you if you’re willing to give it a try.
The world is waiting to meet you!
Sarah Michel, CSP
Copyright © 2011 – Sarah Michel, CSP. Reprinted with permission. Sarah Michel, CSP (Certified Speaking Professional) works with organizations to teach people how to make their net WORK! She is a professional speaker, author and trainer on the fine art of connecting. More info on Sarah can be found at her Website. Send e-mail to: sarah@perfectingconnecting.com or 719-576-2045.
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Some of the benefits of showing up are:
Wherever you show up, be friendly. Smile. Acknowledge others. Don’t be selective. Say hello to people you don’t know. Do it everywhere. Go out of your way to cheer up a sour puss. Be a bearer of “good” news. Cheer people up. Offer a few words of inspiration. Say nice things to people. Be a crowd pleaser. 
If you are trying to grow a business, build relationships or make something happen… proper Follow Up is key. Without it you are diluting your potential effectiveness and being effective is what it’s all about.
4. Make “Thank You” a Part of the Plan. This is a biggie. Don’t just use follow up to get things done or get what you want… use it to say Thank You as well. When the deal is over or the transaction is complete, follow up with a note of thanks to the person or persons who helped make it so. A little Thank You goes a long way!
Never overlook the importance of a warm and friendly handshake. A good handshake can help solidify a new relationship or detract from an otherwise good first impression. If it is well-executed it conveys self-confidence, trust, and a genuine interest in the other party.
Once at a business networking meeting I encountered a man who only shook the ends of my fingers. No handshake is as uncomfortable as having the ends of your fingers squeezed together and pulled. This was a one-sided handshake. He had total control and I had no grip of any kind. I politely grabbed his hand with my free hand, pulled free and said, “Let’s try that again.” I then extended my hand until the web areas between the thumb and forefinger touched, firmly gripped his hand and offered my name. 
Have you ever been to a networking event and got stuck talking with someone who insists on trying to sell you their product or service? Ever try to get away from this boring individual gracefully? Have you wondered how you could easily and painlessly remove yourself from the conversation without hurting their feelings? Did you ever notice how some people seem to spend a lot of time speaking without actually ever saying anything? Do they talk exclusively about themselves and/or their business? Hmmm. Guess everyone has to kiss a few frogs.
Are you spending time and money on networking events without seeing measurable results? Maybe you’re conversing with the wrong networkers. Here are several exit strategies that have worked for me. Hopefully you’re savvier than the average bear when it comes to networking. Feel free to adapt them to your conversation closers repertoire. Do this well, and trust me, they will learn something from you.
I often will walk around with a glass half filled with soda. When I feel cornered, I simply say, “Looks like I need to freshen up my drink, hope you find what you’re look for. Have a great rest-of-the-evening.”
I might cut the conversation short by saying, “Dave, it was nice to meet you. I’m going to move around the room and mingle a bit to meet some other people.”
It’s a character flaw that CAN be overcome! 
