Cut! Take 27! – That’s a Wrap!

When actors are shooting scenes in a movie, if the scene didn’t go well, the director will shout, “Cut!” Next, he will have a few brief words with the actors and do another take. When the actors do the scene to his satisfaction, he’ll say, “That’s a wrap!” and move on to what’s next.

It seems to me that with so many people attending large networking events that after a few events they would see that how they are attempting to network isn’t working and the next time. . . do another take!

Hmmm. Some people never learn.

Networking is such a popular contact sport that you would think that after a few unsuccessful events – meaning: no significant change in business or no one seems to be wanting to contact them – that they would learn from the errors of their ways and seek some support from someone who knows the ins-and-outs of business networking or, at least, stop and observe how the winners are doing it. Yet, they toil on, soliciting business, collecting business cards and hoping at the next event things will improve. That’s insane!

They keep doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. Pardon me, but “It ain’t gonna happen!”

They press on being someone’s new pest. . . asking for business when what they should be doing is focusing on making new relationships with people that “they” might be able to help.

If you want to call attention to yourself, you must pay attention to others! ~ Larry James

“Effective” business networking is about developing long-lasting business relationships, not about soliciting business or collecting a pocket-full of business cards you can call by phone or solicit by e-mail. True quality networking takes time. It is never a slam-dunk!

Developing long-lasting business relationships takes time. “NetHustlers” – that’s what I call these pests – just don’t get it. They wait until business is so bad then they zoom in on anyone in their way to try to “get” as much business as they can without the slightest notion that this strategy isn’t working. By that time they are so desperate that they piss more people off as they blunder along, getting nowhere.

There is hope! You can do another take. You get a “do-over!” However, before you can correct a problem, you must be willing to admit that it exists!

Ask anyone successful in business networking how they do it, and there’s at least one thing they will all agree on: “You will never make it without the guidance of special people who have walked the networking path before you.”

If you have been successful at networking, make it a point to help these people. At your networking meetings, share ideas that have worked for you. Make it a special part of every meeting. When introducing yourself, add a brief networking tip that has helped you make new friends and get new business. Encourage others to do the same.

You might even have a networking “Top 10″ tip sheet that you hand to others at networking events along with your business card. Make sure you write something like, “These free networking tips are compliments of (your name and your business contact information).”

Consider sponsoring a “Free” networking training session at your business. Invite people in businesses that you would like to get to know better.

Encourage the leaders of the networking groups you attend to always have a small part of each meeting be dedicated to learning more about how to network more effectively.

Attending a large networking event? Offer networking tips to break the ice. Or, ask the new person you just met, “What has been the most effective tool you have used to network?”

If you are someone who feels the need to network better, the next event you attend, set a goal to meet three people, at most, with whom you have more than a 10-second conversation. Ask them what kinds of clients they serve and ask what types of people they want to meet. This next question should get their attention, ask them how you can help them. You see, the goal is NOT to meet lots of people, the goal is to single out people that you may be able to assist in their business. If you both “click,” and you see there is possibility in the meeting, ask for a business call and promise to call the next day to set up a time to get together – to see how you can further assist them.

Believe me, this approach will take your networking to another level.

If that doesn’t get their attention, they are probably dead that they haven’t been buried yet.

Always remember: Business networking is about building authentic, long-term business relationships with the intention of assisting each other as you get to know each other better. Become a trusted source for quality referrals and contacts. Always be helping others connect to the people they need to know.

Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Are You a Victim of Network Drive-bys?

Have you been assaulted by a business card bombardier who only wanted to sell you something? Attended one of those “grab and gab” and “tell and sell” rubber chicken so-called networking events where you left feeling violated?

Have you ever been violated by people claiming to be networking but are just out for themselves and what you can do for them? Networking sometimes gets a bad rap because of people like this. If you’ve been left with a bad taste in your mouth for networking and think it’s just for blood sucking shameless self-promoters perhaps we can share a few ideas that can put all that incorrect thinking in the garbage can where it belongs.

I have attended large networking events that the first two paragraphs of this article describe and walked away feeling like I had wasted my time. The losers are the ones who I do my best to ignore. It’s hard because most of them are in your face pitching their product or service. They have yet to learn that networking is not about “tell and sell.”

There’s also no such thing as a bad event. It is what you decide to make of it. Many times it’s not the networking event itself, but those people who have no clue on how to network. Your attitude is everything. You can always walk away feeling good that you attended if you put aside your expectations and go with the flow. Make the best of every meeting or event you attend.

Any event that has more that two life giving, cancer curing, weight losing, pyramid schemes pitching, morons complaining about the economy, time-wasters, multi-level marketing fruit juice true believers is probably going to be void of any meaningful intention to build business relationships. Plan to avoid these groups. Idiots attract other idiots, and winners attract other winners. You want to go to networking events hosted by winners. Never return to events where most attendees have what I call a seller’s mentality. These people couldn’t care less about what you do. They only care about making sales. Making sales is important, but taking the time to build mutually beneficial relationships is far better.

Look for a group the encourages people to mingle and share ideas; where members are encouraged to exchange business cards, exchange contact information and offer tips on potential business leads. In other words, sharing is the key word.

People make fantastic business contacts that advance their careers immeasurably at networking meetings and events. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s difficult to navigate around the losers that attend these events. Sadly many of these people have never been exposed to the intricacies of networking that pave the way to business success.

Here is the truth. You build business by building community. You build community by nurturing long-term business relationships and by surrounding yourself with the kind of people in your network that are of like mind; people who know the rules and who abide by them. Networking events require patience and perseverance and more patience. One of the most common mistakes people make is to go to a networking event and expect immediate results, that simply does not happen.

Networking is not an event. It is a process of building relationships. It is an exchange, not an exploitation you only use to YOUR advantage. Networking is at its most effective level when both the networkers benefit from the relationship. Once the relationship is solid, you gain the respect of others by exchanging quality business leads and offering your assistance to others in any way you can. After that, the referrals begin to flow – slow at first – but worth the wait.

It doesn’t matter how many business cards you pass out (or collect), if you do not focus on getting to know one another on a deeper level.

I share some of my most valuable secrets with others in my network once trust has been established. Many who know me will verify that. The better we know each other and trust one another, the easier it is to do business with each other, and a greater level of trust is but one of the goals. I have no secrets because I tend to be less concerned about competition than most people I know. There is enough business out there without living with the fear that someone else will get all the business if you share your assistance with others.

Networking, for most people, is not a natural skill. It can and must be learned.

Generating business through networking is only as good as the network you belong to. Look for a group that encourages you to attend periodic seminars where you can learn more about networking. Look for additional networking opportunities and educational training from other sources outside of your group that will assist you with cooking with Networking’s Secret Sauce. Scout around for networking events designed to connect savvy professionals seeking to build their networks and create opportunities.

A commitment to progress in learning networking skills is important. Most successful networkers are not born that way. They learn the skills of networking, because they know that the rewards will be increased business and connections that will help them build their business. The rewards for networking can be enormous.

If you continue to bounce around from group to group without at least learning the basics of networking. . . who’s the real loser in this situation?

If you have unrealistic expectations when attending a networking group or event, you will surely be disappointed. Unfulfilled expectations always cause problems.

It’s better to network with a clear head. Avoid alcohol. If you are going to drink – drink a soda and hold it in the hand that you don’t shake hands with. The condensation on the drink that you are holding causes your hands to be wet, cold and clammy when you are shaking people’s hands.

I’ve actually heard people say, “I’m always nervous before I go to these things. I’m scared of approaching people, I’m scared of saying something dumb, I’m scared of sitting in the corner alone like a weirdo.” Here is another truth: You can’t act like a wallflower at a grade-school dance and expect to build relationships. You must get better acquainted with the people in your network.

So. . . who are the winners? They are the ones who fit the pieces of the networking puzzle together by getting up some courage, holding out their hand, saying “hello” and introducing themself to someone new. The winners for me are the ones who are still lingering for 20 to 30 minutes after the event ends. They are having meaningful conversations and some are expressing an intent to get together outside of the meeting to learn more about how they can help each other. They focus on being up-to-date with the latest networking strategies. They go out on a limb. They are willing to network out of their comfort zone.

BONUS Article: Think You Know HOW to Network?
How to Avoid Becoming a Networking Jerk
Don’t Be a Networking Jerk!

Larry’s note: A special “Thank you!” to Sarah Michell, CPS for sharing a few ideas for this article.

Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Building a Case for LARGE Networking Events!

Gelie Akhenblit, Guest Author

Recently, I heard a comment that I’d like to share with you and then address it with my thoughts to see if I can shed some light on the situation. “Gelie, I really don’t like attending the large networking events with too many people because it’s difficult to connect and I’m not sure I’ll be able to network properly.”

Hmmm. . . well here is a question for you. How often do you get out and network? Do you have enough time in the day or month to stay in touch with all those wonderful connections that you have made in the past? If you are a working individual, the answer to this question, generally, is “NO.” You’re busy making money. . . you can’t be having coffee with people all day long, right?

So how do you stay in touch with all your contacts??

One of the best things you can do, and this is what I do, is go to the large events. It is at the large networking events that you are likely to run into people that you know but haven’t seen or spoken in a while. Why is this good? Well…don’t you want them to remember YOU?

Look, we are all human. And as great as you think you are…people will forget about you if you don’t stay on their radar. You have to physically stay in front of people so that they remember who you are and what you can do for them. They’ll be happy to send you referrals. . . if they remember you.

So while large events can be overwhelming – you have to walk in with a strategy and walk out a winner! If you don’t know anyone and are meeting people for the first time, then pick a certain geographical area of the room and stay there. If there are a lot of people, then they will keep moving around and you just have to stay in one spot. This could alleviate your anxiety and create a win for you!

Here is a great quote from Jessica McGee, WriteLogiq, who was an attendee at our recent BIG networking event with 800 guests:

“Congratulations on such a great event last night!!! I know I had a total blast. Amazing how many people I ran into that I already know but it was great to stay fresh in those minds, reconnect with others, and of course gather a slew of new connections!”

Now there is a win! Build your strategy, figure out what you’re going to get out of a big event and then go accomplish it!

Gelie Akhenblit, Founder of NetworkingPhoenix.com, gives some great tips on the following video for people who like to network at large events.

There are a number of reasons why people attend networking events. These include:

• Salespeople looking for new prospects
• Consultants looking for partners on joint projects
• Job seekers looking for job leads
• Entrepreneurs looking for funding sources

BONUS Articles: “Networking Events are a Waste of Time. . .“
“Choosing a Networking Group“
“Breakfast or Lunch? Getting the Greatest Bang for Your Buck!“

Gelie Akhenblit

Copyright © 2011 – Gelie Akhenblit. Gelie is the Founder of NetworkingPhoenix.com. NetworkingPhoenix.com is the Valley’s one-stop-shop for professionals, entrepreneurs, small business owners, individuals in transition and anyone else looking to find networking events, chamber of commerce mixers, useful business seminars and leads clubs. The site posts a free consolidated calendar publicizing events hosted by various local groups and organizations as well as a wealth of training seminars, workshops, and other educational opportunities to help you develop your networking skills and expand your business.

Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Shop for a GREAT Networking Group… Then STOP!

It has been my experience that eventually it will be time to settle into a single neworking group and focus all you networking energy there. Hard-contact networking groups are groups that are very structured and play by the rules.

In other words, you “must” attend weekly meetings where the group’s leader calls the meeting to order, goes over housekeeping stuff, and then everyone gets a chance to do a 30-second connection (some call this an elevator speech) of themselves. Once people know who everyone is and what they’re looking for, then you can get up and network at will. A little structure never hurt anyone. As a matter of fact, my belief is that it is required for the group to function effectively.

If you haven’t already found a group that suits you, visit as many groups as possible that spark your interest. This may take some time to determine your interest in them and their interest in you.

Notice the tone and attitude of the group. Mix and mingle with as many members as possible. Do the members of the group demonstrate a support for one another? Does the leadership appear competent? Ask lots of questions from lots of people there to get a feel for the group. This means questions that ask who, what, where, when, and how as opposed to those that can be answered with a simple yes or no.

Do they feature outside speakers with relavant networking topics? Do they feature a member each week for 5 to 7 minutes to help the membership to get more acquainted with their business? Networking should be for fun & profit. Some groups will allow you to visit several times before joining.

Are their meeting at breakfast, lunch or evenings? People who get their day started on a positive note with a breakfast meeting are often the most serious networkers. Lunch is next on my list and evenings are low on my list. I’ve notices that people who are not doing well, seem to gravitate to the evening meeting and will often head to the bar and are really that serious about networking. There are exceptions, so choose carefully.

You may want to call a few members and schedule a time to get together to determine their success with the group and overall impression of the members. Look for groups and contacts relevant to your aims and capabilities.

It’s important to note that I am not talking about the ulta-large groups where hundreds attend and few actually now the ins-and-outs of networking. The more relevant your targeting of groups and contacts, the more useful your meetings and referrals will be. A group of 30 to 60 works well because you actually get to know the members faster and can get down to some serious relationship building. Networking is about relationships.

Ask yourself, “What can I contribute to this networking community which people will find truly helpful?” Next, work hard to extend that help – whatever it is – to as many relevant people as possible. When the group’s intentions are not so much sales-oriented, but more focused on making long-term relationship, these groups are much more successful.

The goal of the your networking group of choice is to bring together a group of business owners and professionals who are truly best-in-class in their respective business categories, and create a sense of responsibility for each member’s growth and success. The members should make every effort to learn about each member’s business, gain trust and confidence, refer high quality prospects and enthusiastically promote each other whenever possible. These ideas would be a great mission statement for any effective networking group.

Once you find a networking group that fills your needs and whose members you may be able to contribute to, stop and get busy networking. You choose! Take your time and make sure the group (and you) is headed in the right direction.

BONUS articles: “Networking Events are a Waste of Time. . .“
“Choosing a Networking Group“
“With Wallet or Purse in Hand. . .“
“Does Your Networking Group Have a “Community” Presence?“

Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Choosing a Networking Group

Networking in the wrong places won’t help you or your career contacts. When deciding which networking groups to join, consider how much time is actually available to network. There are so many different types of networking events to choose from. Any place where people gather offers a potential networking opportunity. Chosen carefully, an effective networking group can generate business in ways traditional marketing and advertising alone cannot.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself when considering a networking group.

• What are you trying to achieve through business networking?
• How long as the group been in existence?
• What is the depth of commitment at the leadership level?
• What is the format of the meeting?
• Is there a structure or are you just left to your own devices to introduce yourself to people?
• How often are the meetings?
• What steps have been taken to develop a structure that encourages the kind of business relationships necessary to build a successful business?
• Do you enjoy spending time with these people?
• Is there chemistry and opportunities to develop real friendships?
• Who else attends the group and will they be the right people for you to team up with?
• Are members obliged to pass Referrals at every meeting or is it a more relaxed affair?
• Are you required to attend every meeting?
• Does this networking group have a “community” presence?

Decide what time of day you are at your best! Are you a morning person? Or do you prefer to meet for lunch or an evening meeting? Most groups will allow you to attend at least one meeting before asking you to commit financially. When you visit for the first time, observe the level of comfort the group members have with each other. Loyalty within the group is very important.

Check out several groups to find the best chemistry and perceived value. You may have to pay a small fee for lunch or breakfast, but by attending these meetings it will give you an idea of what to expect and whether or not its members are those you can benefit from and whether they can benefit from your business.

Call the networking event leader and find out what businesses and professions have attended their business networking events in the past. Your goal is to identify the best ways to develop relationships with those who are in the best position to introduce you to potential customers.

I will often go to hear a speaker or topic which interests me or to catch up with a number of business associates and friends in one place. Sometimes trial and error works. You might begin by compiling a list of different networking groups that are currently in your area, or areas where you would like to do business. If the group has a Website, take a look.

Ask your friends what groups they attend and ask if they will invite you as a guest so that you can find out more about the group.

Some people thrive in a structured environment. Others of us find lots of rules to be a drag. Depending on the group you decide to join, make sure that you understand the rules. Some networking organizations are very strict and you can find yourself ousted if you don’t play by the book. My experience shows me that the more structure a group has the more seriously the members take their commitment to get to know each other better and the more “qualified” business leads are exchanged. By establishing this “formal” relationship with other business professionals, you will have the opportunity to substantially increase your business.

If you join a business networking group where you don’t already know the existing members, you have to allow some time for the membership to get to know you and trust that you are honest and capable before you can expect to receive any referrals.

Many groups fall under one of 4 main categories.

• Social Networking
• Business Networking
• Leads Groups
• Networking with a Program, speakers, training, etc.

I prefer the groups that have speakers on various business topics. Each has it’s own unique benefits and can help you with a well rounded presence in the business community. Often the speakers are members of the group given an opportunity to tell others about their business and the kind of business leads that work best for them. For me, education is a high priority.

I also have noticed that groups of between 30 and 40 members – only one member in each category – works best for me. I find it much better to have a lot of time to talk to people about my business rather than have a brief period to talk and then have to sit down and listen to a program. I want to get to know the members and have them get to know me. They will often know most of the others and can help to expand your network quickly. Your involvement in a networking group doesn’t necessarily mean quick returns. I strongly encourage you not to sit next to anyone you had met before.

That is difficult in larger groups because business does not always come in the first contact or meeting nor do they usually have speakers or programs. To me the very large groups are all about social networking and in many cases the people who attend know very little about the collaborative etiquette of networking. They are usually non-structured gatherings set in a social setting like a bar or party. The social business networking group is all about “mingling” or “schmoozing”, you “work the room” and meet various others that may or may not turn into business leads.

I stay away from speed networking events. This is where you have a rapid succession of three-minute one-to-one meetings during the course of a morning or afternoon. It’s fast-paced and usually you collect a lot of business cards but there is seldom much time to develop a real relationship. Collecting a large number of cards from people you can barely remember the next day (and who may well have forgotten you), may be far less valuable in the long run than taking time to get to know a few people better. Don’t waste your time on groups and connections that lack integrity or relevance.

A Chamber of Commerce can be a local, statewide, national, or international organization with separate memberships for each. They are also an opportunity to meet people. When looking for networking opportunities within a Chamber Of Commerce, most people think only of leads groups or the common after hours. The reality is that any function hosted by a Chamber Of Commerce holds opportunities for networking with other business owners and business leaders.

Finally, what is the policy about exclusivity to selected market sectors? Some groups will only allow one member from each market category therefore creating sense of exclusivity and again this has its pros and cons. On the one hand, having exclusivity will breed a sense of loyalty between your group members, conversely if there’s more than one of you in a particular market category then sometimes you can build on one another’s particular niche offerings.

Picking the right networking activities and groups and applying a few basic principles can lead to huge benefits for businesses. If you’re confused about what group you should share your expertise with, visit several groups. Ask lots of questions. Then make a decision. The hardest part is making the decision. Once you have made your choice, stick with it. Remember, building long-term business relationships takes time. Be patient. And most of all, be loyal to the group and give it and its members your very best.

Networking is all about reciprocity. No matter who you’re dealing with, you should always try to give more than you receive. Always remember, networking is also about building trust, and seeing how your relationship can genuinely help others.

You gotta “LOVE” what you do to be successful at it. The same applies to Networking. You gotta “LOVE” to Network to make it work for you. Download Gail Sussman Miller’s free article (pdf) called, “How to Love Networking.”

BONUS Articles: “Using Networking for your Business” by Jack Roberts
“Shop for a GREAT Networking Group… Then STOP!”
“Does Your Networking Group Have a “Community” Presence?“

Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Breakfast or Lunch? Getting the Greatest Bang for Your Buck!

Hmmm. Me thinks that is the wrong question!

Why?

Well, where do I begin? There are actually three times to network in groups. Breakfast, lunch and evening meetings. Each has it’s own unique benefits. Some have speakers and others offer people the chance to eat and circulate without any formal meeting. Many have a meeting charge. Most guests can usually attend one meeting without having to join the group.

Some will have a special time for members to offer a 30-second connection. Larger groups my have one member give a brief 10-minute presentation plus a speaker. Do your best to find a group that allow you to utilize your time optimally. Find a group that is vibrant and is actively growing. Check out these groups to find out if you’re compatible with the individual members and their professions.

One of the toughest things to decide is which networking group to align yourself and your business with. I personally prefer a group that has attendance requirements. The ones that do usually have more consistent attendance from their members. In addition to going to the meetings, call some of the other member businesses and ask if the group has been a source of good clients and business leads. Call the group’s leaders. Ask other members what groups they attend and ask if they will invite you as a guest so that you can find out more about the group.

It pays to check the group you are interested in very thoroughly. I look for people who are willing to brainstorm about ideas that have helped their business to grow vs. idle chitchat. I call this “collaborative sharing.” Be the one to nurture an emerging idea. I like to develop relationships with people who are big thinkers and to be able to bounce new business ideas off them. Beware of groups whose members are usually just salespeople trying to sell their stuff to other salespeople.

Are you a morning person? To me, the bacon and eggs crowd seem to be some of the most serious networkers. They have to make a special effort to get up and get going early in the morning. This plays a big part in getting your morning off to a great start. Meeting someone for coffee or breakfast at eight o’clock in the morning is a wonderful way to accomplish your relationship-building goals while saving time and money. Breakfast is rapidly becoming the new lunch.

The constant for all groups is that the participants will have the chance to talk to each other and begin to build business relationships that can grow and last. Morning meetings are sometimes problematic. How many times have those meetings with clients gotten rescheduled, or worst – forgotten? Always call to confirm to avoid any embarrassing miscommunications. Many people are more mentally alert and most creative before noon. If you don’t have time or the budget for a high-end lunch, then breakfast may be the best way to build relationships. Members can start their business day uninterrupted.

The lunch bunch were going to eat lunch anyway so it might as well be with other business professionals with the chance to mix, mingle and talk. In Robin Jay’s award-winning book, “The Art of the Business Lunch: Building Relationships Between 12 and 2″ she says, “There is nothing as effective as breaking bread for getting to know a client, to learn more about their business, understand their needs, and find better ways to help them achieve their goals. Something magical happens when you are in a social setting, sharing food.” Skip the alcohol at lunch. Keep your mind clear.

People often will let their guard down and open up during a relaxed lunch group. “A 1:00 p.m. appointment allows you and your guest to complete a full morning’s work and be ready for a more relaxed meal,” advises Beverly Langford in her book, “The Etiquette Edge.”

Evening – Most evening meetings offer a more relaxed, casual atmosphere while meeting other businesses. Some offer hor d’ourves and a cash bar. 99% of my clients have 9 to 5 p.m. day jobs. That means they’re looking for my services after work and only available to work with me in the evenings. So, for me – unless I don’t already have an appointment with a new client – mornings or lunches are best.

“Choose only foods that are easy to eat, like grapes or crackers – nothing messy. Steer clear of the chewy, dripping, garlic-laced, hard-to-eat items at the hors d’oeuvres table,” suggest Anne Baber and Lynne Waymon in their book “Make Your Contacts Count.” Don’t forget to take small bites. When you will be socializing and making frequent introductions, it’s important not to talk with your mouth full or make others wait for you to swallow before you can speak.

Regardless of which group you choose to attend, you are encouraged to bring your business cards and brochure for distribution to the group. You will have an opportunity to network, ask questions, and conduct one-to-one meeting before and after the meetings. You may want to try all three to see which group serves you the best and where you can find friendly and supportive people to assist. Look for a creative melting pot of friendly, ambitious people.

Each category of networkers have advantages and disadvantages. The breakfast and lunch groups don’t interfere with the working day. Some groups are made up of one representative from each type of profession to eliminate competition within the group. I never worried about the competition. I focused on making myself and my business “remarkable!” Some people waste a lot of energy being concerned about their competitors rather than using that energy in a more productive way to market themselves and their business.

Look for a group whose members make you feel welcome and take the time to greet you rather than hang with everyone they already know. All offer business networking opportunities and you must follow the “collaborative etiquette of networking.

My friend, Larry Winget, in his book, “It’s Called WORK for a Reason: Your Success Is Your Own Damn Fault” says, “Get involved. Get known. Go to charity events, civic events, wine tastings, art fairs, church, whatever. Be around people. Not with a handful of business cards to pass out. Don’t even go with the idea of getting more business. Instead go there and get involved in the event. Be the kind of person others admire, can count on, trust, and enjoy spending time with. After you have developed that reputation, people will start to ask you what you do and you will be amazed at how many people will want to work with you.”

The popularity of networking meetings and events continues to grow as businesses find them to be a very cost-effective tool for increasing sales or simply building relationships with others. Schmooze like there’s no tomorrow, befriend everyone. Remember to participate fully. Don’t expect immediate results. Business does not always come in the first contact or meeting. Be consistent for best results. I belonged to one networking group for almost a year before I started receiving referrals. This type of business comes with trust and trust can take some time to develop.

And one final though: Remember, networking is about cultivating long-term relationships. If you approach someone under the guise of making a new friend, while your hidden agenda is really pure business exploitation with no genuine interest in the relationship or the person beyond what they can do for your bank account… that relationship will never end well. Be a giver! The return on your investment is exponential.

Read, “The Networking Collaborative” and “Networking Events are a Waste of Time. . .“

Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Visit ” Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

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Come Early and Stay Late!

Inexperienced networkers come to meetings late and leave as soon as the speaker has finished or the group is dismissed. That is a mistake. Networking occurs before and after the meeting.

Often the best opportunities for networking are before the start of the formal program and immediately after the meeting. If you only come to see who is there, to be seen or to stuff your face with food, you’re missing out. Follow my rule: “First in, last out.”

Coming early – Be sure you circulate before the meeting. See who is there. Mingle. Put on a “happy face” as you enter and remind yourself that it is “show time”. Ask the coordinator if there is anyone in particular that he/she suggests that you need to meet. Ask the event host to make the introduction. Find that person, introduce yourself and choose a seat next to them. Be the one who orders a non-alcoholic drink. Keep a clear head.

Be an early bird. Get there ahead of the rest. You can then relax and focus on learning about the other people in the room. Preparation goes a long way in making you appear to be someone that other people will want to get to know. Be a greeter (official or otherwise). This puts you in a position of meeting people you don’t know. If you see someone standing alone, introduce them to someone else and move on to greet someone else.

Staying late – Make it a point to greet people you’ve met in the past. If you have leads for them, now is a great time to get their full attention. Be one of the last to leave. Some of the most successful networkers I know always linger until there is no one else to talk with. Some of the most important “schmoozing” takes place after the meeting.

If you meet someone new and they catch your attention, invite them to have coffee or a drink after the meeting away from the crowd. Ask them to suggest someone you should know. Networking doesn’t have to end when the meeting is over. Be generous with your own knowledge and connections. Lisbeth Calandrino calls these tidbits, “brain snacks!”

When you stay late offer to help out when necessary. Tell the organizer HOW you would like to help that demonstrates some of your highly valued skills. That way you won’t get stuck doing some menial task that you can’t get excited about. Often the people who volunteer are the ones who are included in the leader’s circle of friends.

Make small talk with new friends. Small talk is not trivial. No serious banter about “your” business. It’s get acquainted time. Introduce yourself then ask, “What do you do?” Show an interest in others. Establish eye contact, then raise a non-threatening small-talk topic.

The purpose of small talk is to break the ice, build rapport and gain trust. Do you both “click?” Without rapport, there is no foundation to develop a long-term relationship. Offer a firm handshake. Wear a name tag on the right side of your jacket or dress and keep a smile on your face.

Professional networking meetings are one of the best ways to continually revitalize and grow your network. However, if you attend meetings without a clear strategy for maximizing their value, you may end up as a wall-flower, merely watching other people network and wondering why you gave up the time in the first place.

Copyright © 2009 – Larry James. Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Can’t find my book in your bookstore, order a signed copy from Larry James. Visit Larry’s “Networking HQ” Website; articles, tips, networking books and more!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Networking Events are a Waste of Time. . .

. . . UNLESS you have learned the collaborative etiquette of networking!

Hmmm. Got your attention didn’t I? I suppose all networking is good, however, what brings the most productive long-term benefit to both parties is the manner in which the relationship is built.

What is the collaborative etiquette of networking?

Collaborative, n.
1. The act of working together; united labor.
2. To work together, especially in a joint intellectual effort.

Etiquette, n.
1. The practices and forms prescribed by social convention or by authority.
2. The customs or rules governing behavior regarded as correct or acceptable in social or official life

So, collaborative etiquette is: The act of working together within the practice of mutually beneficial social convention. Put another way, it is networking in a way that subscribes to the idea that networking is about using your creative talents to help others achieve their goals as you cultivate a network of people strategically positioned to support you in your goals. . . expecting nothing in return. Collaborative etiquette is the lubrication that makes things run smoothly. Without it, you may permanently alienate others.

And yet another way. . . it’s practicing the “Go Giver” mentality not the “give to get” mentality. In other words, the “give to get” mentality is giving with an expectation of receiving something from the person you gave to. Not good. This is a set-up for disappointment because that is not the way it usually works. When you give it “always” comes back to you but not always from the person you contributed to.

Keep your expectations in check. Remember, unfulfilled expectations always cause problems. If you don’t get what you expect, you get disappointed. Disappointment leads to resentment, frustration and upsets. Having expectations is a luxury you cannot afford in networking.

I am disgusted with the “meet” market mass hysteria that seems to follow very large networking events. Avoid this schmoozefest. And. . . nothing irritates me more than having a “Networking Nancy” or a “Networking Ned” shove a business card in hand and say, “What do you do?” and before I can answer, they interrupt with their unsolicited pitch without waiting to see if I care. Like they care? It doesn’t feel like it. Like I care? Hardly. No one cares about your opportunity until they know how much you care.

Hysteria, n.
1. Behavior exhibiting excessive or uncontrollable emotion, such as fear or panic.

Fear or panic, eh? Seems to me to fit the profile of a networking newbie or someone who flat doesn’t understand the collaborative etiquette of networking. The fear may come from their concern about business not being so good or that they feel they must work really hard to meet as many people as they can to help them or they will fail. They don’t know that in networking we are there to stir up a collaborative relationship where we truly help each other.

Building trust comes way before giving a sales spiel.

Collaboration is the key to increased networking efficiency. Did you get that? Collaboration! That means to work together! Collaboration is a recursive process where two or more people or organizations work together toward common goals. There’s another key. . . working together!

IMPORTANT: Networking is about helping each other. It’s a two-way street!

Before me stands someone who is desperate to get business – coming from fear – rather than take the time it takes to develop a long-lasting relationship.

Desperate, n.
1. One desperate or hopeless.

Another irritant is having an MLMer (multi-level or network marketer) try to recruit me into their fold without telling me hardly anything about their scheme where I can make $20,000 a month. It seems to me that it should be this way: help someone understand and like the product by being a user of the product and much later. . . introduce them to a way that they might make a few extra dollars in their spare time. I know how it works because at one point in my life I was a very successful MLMer. Networking events are not about recruiting. If you are someone who does this, you will soon get a reputation as a networking pest and your networking opportunities will soon evaporate.

Sometimes I want to scream, “Stop trying to sell me. I don’t even know you and you certainly have no clue about what my motivation is for being here!” Michelle Villalobos (BNI Member, Miami) calls this, “premature solicitation.”

“Selling to people who actually want to hear from you is more effective than interrupting strangers who don’t.” ~ Seth Godin

My friend, Jim Rohn once said, “The more you know, the less you need to say.” Sometimes is is wise to just keep your mouth shut and let the other person blab on about whatever it is they do. Then excuse yourself politely and move on to meet someone else.

Be clear. Networking is using your creative talents to help others achieve their goals as you cultivate a network of people strategically positioned to support you in your goals. . . expecting nothing in return! And if a business lead grows from conversation with another networker that’s the bonus! Not the intent.

At a networking event what comes first?

1. Small Talk

No serious banter about “your” business. It’s get acquainted time. Introduce yourself then ask, “What do you do?” Show an interest in others. Establish eye contact, then raise a non-threatening small-talk topic. The purpose of small talk is to break the ice, build rapport and gain trust. Do you both “click?” Without rapport, there is no foundation to develop a long-term relationship. Offer a firm handshake. Wear a name tag on the right side of your jacket or dress.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people, than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie

Observe and listen. Listening is the heart of communication. Target the person’s interests. Be mentally engaged in what the other person is saying. Interact with positive observations and questions about how you might help them. Look for a keyword or phrase that is in some way related to the topic that you would like to discuss with this person. Ask relevant questions and avoid wasting his or her time. Determine what the person believes he or she needs related to you, then link yourself to their needs. Offer to help if you think you can contribute. Never be afraid to take initiative. Be pleasant, respectful and polite.

Avoid any type of sarcasm or negativity. Offer no, “Business is bad” talk. Keep the conversation positive. Insert positive reinforcement into the conversation. Make good eye contact. Be relaxed and confident. Respect their personal space. Easy on the business cards (see #2). Never be afraid to ask for help. Most people are flattered to be asked for assistance, tips and advice.

“Be careful of receiving counsel from unproductive or toxic people—they don’t follow their own advice. Healthy people will not join in your sorrow—they will show you a brighter vision!” – Steven Connor

Maintain focus on the one you are talking with. It’s rude to be looking over their shoulder to see who else would be your next likely victim. It should only take a few minutes of small talk to help you make the right choice about whether this is someone you want to follow-up with.

“People who listen well are so memorable because they make us feel special when we are face-to-face. These smart and savvy communicators do not allow themselves to be distracted by phones, buzzing text messages or Blackberrys. They don’t walk into a party, a meeting or a memorial wearing a Bluetooth. They are “in the moment” not waiting for someone, anyone – to call, text, IM or twitter in the next moment. And we love them for that.” – Susan RoAne

Postpone further discussions if the person wants to get down to business right away and there are others present. Exchanges business cards and set an appointment to consider the matter in greater depth. You must carefully consider who you choose to connect with. For the people you do reject, show respect by offering alternatives. Perhaps someone else in your network could help them.

2. Exchange Business Cards. . . MAYBE!

I seldom offer my business card to someone I would rather not do business with. If they ask, I will oblige. Make business card exchanges meaningful. Only exchange cards with someone when it will be of benefit to both of you. “Hello, my name is Boring Bobby, have a card” doesn’t work.

Demonstrate that you have common sense. Send the appropriate message to others in order to avoid misunderstandings and foster trust. If you want to pursue the relationship say so and follow up. If not say, “Please excuse me, I’ve enjoyed speaking with you.” Smile and move on.

3. Don’t butt in!

If you see several people talking and you would like to join them, approach with sensitivity. Stand quietly several feet away for a second or two. If there is a break in the conversation or if someone in the group happens to look your way – use your good judgment – and take a step forward and introduce yourself. If that doesn’t happen, exit immediately with “excuse me.” It should be clear that they choose not to invite anyone else into the conversation.

4. Butt Out!

There is always one Boring Bobby or Boring Betty at every large networking event. These are the people you want to get away from as soon as possible. Say, “I’d like to grab a Pepsi. Feel free to mingle with others.” Or. . . offer to introduce them to someone else, then make the introductions and as they begin to chat with each other, politely excuse yourself. People like this are a challenge. Never feel obliged to suffer through their monotony at a networking event.

5. Keep your word!

Follow through on your promises. Never, I repeat, never offer anything unless you plan to follow through.

6. Follow up! – Promptly

Think of creative ways to keep in touch. Thank people for leads, tips and ideas even if their suggestions don’t work out; your contacts will appreciate the follow-up. E-mail and a phone call are okay but a face-to-face connection with someone you want to know better is best. Practice appropriate persistence and be sensitive to time constraints.

My guess would be that the biggest percentage of people who attend large networking events have had little, if any, training on how to network correctly. They are not even aware of the simple slip-ups that can cascade into full-blown avoidance by others in the network. They are thinking: “Sell, sell, sell.” Wrong!

They mostly see it as an opportunity to collect business leads. By the way, working the room does not mean meeting as many people as you can and collecting the most business cards. A poor approach to networking can have a devastating effect however an effective approach using collaborative etiquette can open countless doors and opportunities.

At a recent networking event I stopped at the name tag table and asked to speak with the person who was hosting the event. The young women behind the table immediately looked around the room, spotted the host and said, “Come with me. I’ll introduce you to her.” That’s class.

Why is effective networking so important? Because networking isn’t just a great idea anymore; networking is an essential and long-term component of developing and maintaining long-term business relationships. The basics of effective networking are easy to learn, but as with most professional skills, they must be practiced and perfected in order to be effective.

So. . . are we clear? Networking is NOT about selling or collecting business cards. It’s about building relationships. Always remember, successful networking is based on giving more than you take.

The stability, power and longevity of a tribe is directly related to the way it is treated by its members. When many of them seek to take, to enrich themselves and to find a loophole or advantage, the group is weakened. ~ Seth Godin

Never assume that those within your network share your religious, political, or social beliefs. It’s best to stay away from these topics.

You would be wise to create a 5 to 10 second “elevator speech” for a large event. One that briefly describes what you do. At smaller events you will often be asked to introduce yourself and a 30-second connection would be more appropriate.

If you are unclear about what networking is about. . . get help before you damage your reputation and become someone others avoid when they see you coming. (You know people like that, don’t you?) Don’t become one of them. Hire a coach. It is important to learn the ropes from someone who knows the ropes.

The proper application of collaborative etiquette in networking will empower you to build and nurture your own network. Make a commitment to put these powerful guidelines into action and you’ll be attracting a vast number of new team members and business partners into your network. Put to use the guidelines of collaborative etiquette to your networking opportunities and before long the contacts will be coming to you, instead of the other way around.

Commitment, n.
1 an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled

The quality of relationships you build in networking are far superior to the quantity of friends you make.

“These lasting, mutually beneficial business relationships begin with projecting an outstanding impression, but are sustained through trust and the investment of time and effort to help others.” – Aviva Shiff, co-founder of Spark Training & Coaching Associates

Bonus Link: Watch a brief video featuring Phyllis Davis on Networking Etiquette. Click here. (Highly Recommended).

Read, “Networking, And Why It Sucks” by Kristy Swanson, Personal and Professional Coach, Kirkland, Washington

Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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At a Networking Event, BE the Host!

Although you may not be the official host of the event, you do further your own career and networking goals by taking charge and becoming the host. Work the room. . . for yourself and in the process, help others. Or. . . at least play the part of a greeter. You don’t need permission to do what everyone should already be doing when they network!

Enter the room with the right mindset. Don’t be shy. Let your personality show. If you meet someone and know they might be a good connection for someone you just met across the room, help make the introduction. Greet each new acquaintance with an openness to learn more about that person, a willingness to help, and an offer to stay in touch.

Acknowledge others: Seek eye contact. Greet people with a simple “hello” or “how are you?” It is a lost courtesy. And if you smile then you will invariably receive a pleasant response. I found this to be the best and easiest opener. Then I listen. People say things on their minds. And then the conversation is off and running.

Be a friendly and cheerful greeter with a genuine smile when you meet other guests. Start conversations without fear of rejection. Ask questions that will get you noticed. A good question is: “So where else do you normally network?” Or. . . “So what do you like best about what you do?”

General George Patton, no shrinking violet, said it well: “The most vital qualities a successful person can possess is self-confidence – utter and complete heart, spirit, and audacity. You can have doubts about your good looks, your intelligence, about your self-control – but to win, you must have no doubts about your abilities.”

Be a regular at networking events. Networking is one of the most profitable activities in which one can engage. To get the most out of your networking experience, you need to build a relationship with people who you want to have contact with.

Show interest. Pay attention. Keep in mind that your goal is to gain and exchange information. You can solicit the information you want by talking and directing the conversation, but then you need to listen. Bob Burg sez: “When you meet someone new and hope to establish what could be a very mutually beneficial business relationship, let them talk… about themselves.”

Spending too long with any one person defeats the purpose of networking. Your objective is to take advantage of the entire room. Spend most of your time and effort with people who can help each other out, for the long term. However, you will be better off with only talking with 5 people than to try to say “hello” to everyone in the room. Take the time to cultivate a rapport.

Leverage your existing contacts by sharing them with others. Accelerate your networking results by sharing networking tips with new attendees. Networking isn’t about the quantity of contacts you make; it’s about the quality of relationships you enjoy.

Introduce those you know to others attending the group. Talk to them about how you can help them. Learn how their business can help you. Any business owner is appreciative when they are introduced to various potential customers.

There is more to networking than greeting people. Develop a step-by-step plan for how you’ll build relationships and how you can effectively tell your story at the next event.

Don’t tell others of the referral you require; “show them” with a story.

Networking is less about meeting new people than having them remember you. If at networking events you’re listening while they’re talking, and then you ask a good follow-up question based on the information you just heard, you’re going to be more likely to stand out in their minds.

When networking salt conversations with tidbits about yourself and your business but always end your self-introduction with a question directed to the person you are talking to. They will get excited about their own answers and associate that excitement with meeting you.

At least once a month, introduce two people to each other without any immediate expectation for personal gain. They will remember you!

Copyright © 2009 – Larry James. Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Visit ” Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.