Business networking is NOT about attending an event, collecting stacks of business cards and telling everyone about YOUR business!
People who only do that just don’t get it!
Rarely few, if any will do business with you – much less refer new business to you – unless they have an established relationship with you. As my friend, Tom Hopkins, once said, “People only do business with people they like and trust.”
I am offended when meeting someone new at a networking event if the only thing they want to do is try to get me to buy their product or service. Are you kidding? “I don’t know you, much less trust you! Get lost!” Of course, I would never say that to anyone, but I’m thinking it. I simply conjure up a quick excuse to move on and put their business card in the pocket designated for “throw-away” later. Seldom will anyone refer you to their close business associates upon first meeting you.
So. . . Stop it! Don’t do networking that way anymore. It doesn’t work!
Rethink your strategy. Spend some time learning how the professional networkers do it. Research the hundreds of FREE networking articles in this blog. Take a look at the Networking Articles Index. Attend a networking seminar and begin to use the valuable tips you learn. Read good networking books. “Ten Commitments of Networking” is a great book to start with.
“Let someone else educate you, even if you’re tempted to stay closed minded, because you value their knowledge and appreciate their willingness to share it.” ~ Lori Deschene
Before you can get the attention of the professional networkers (the people you really need to know), the pros will want to know more about YOU first – then your business (in that order). They will first seek to understand how they might be able to help you, if you are someone that knows the networking ropes and whether you are someone they could work with in the future.
Once you gain the confidence of those in your network you will most likely be granted unlimited access to their knowledge of networking and when that partnership is in place you will fit nicely in their connection zone. Information that is timely, relevant and trustworthy is the reward. AND maybe even a business referral or two. With a solid business relationship in place you will be amazed how it will improve your productivity.
To sum it up. . . it’s time to get serious about business networking. Networking works better when we all work together, get to know each other better and focus on developing long-term relationships with other networkers.
Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”
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What you think about and speak about, you bring about. In other words, if you view someone in your networking group with disdain, you well most likely never have the opportunity to build a close business relationship with them.
Never underestimate someone because of his or her current profession. Do you have professional bias? We all have it at times – the belief that we are in some way superior to other professions or that because they are in a profession we are not familiar with they are someone that we could care less about. That’s a bad idea. Open-mindedness is the remedy. 
Pre-qualifying works but prejudging does not. Keith Rosen, MCC said in his book, “To permanently eliminate any confusion, let’s draw a distinction between what it means to pre-qualify and prejudge a prospect. If you read my cold calling book (
Networkers need to learn to ask more interesting questions – questions that stimulate and inspire; that help you connect quickly. Once you have introduced yourself and the hand shaking is out of the way, try tossing them a creative conversation starter such as:
Copyright 2012 – Kathy McAfee. Kathy McAfee is America’s Marketing Motivator and author of the book Networking Ahead for Business (Kiwi Publishing 2010). In her role as an Executive Presentation Coach and Motivational Speaker, Kathy helps her clients become the recognized leaders in their field by mastering the arts of high engagement presentations and more effective networking. Learn more at her Website: 
At work and in all aspects of life, I guarantee that you will meet people who don’t see the world like you do. People who don’t operate the same way you do. They may have very different goals and values. They may dress differently. They may speak differently. They may be from a different culture. Or they may look and sound just like you, but you still notice the differences.
An offer can be as simple as a hello and a warm smile. If it is returned in kind, your offer was accepted. Build on that by making another offer, and another. Each time the connection will get stronger.
Copyright © 2012 by Jenny Davidow. Reprinted with permission. Jenny Davidow is a Communication Coach and clinical hypnotherapist with 30 years experience. She specializes in training and support to hone the persuasiveness and impact of your presentations – in words, body language, and print. Through subconscious communication, she accelerates change to remove blocks, boost confidence and creativity. She is the author of “
It doesn’t pay to be selfish or self-centered. Only self-centered people reach their level of incompetence. When your energy is self-directed it is easy to lose touch with who you can be for others. Self-centeredness is an energy drain. It will have you only pay attention to yourself. Not good. “Me only” doesn’t work. It causes your focus to be on only you. Contribution is a two-way street. The famous psychiatrist, Alfred Adler said, “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow man who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from such individuals that all human failure springs.”
Contribute to yourself first. Me first is okay. When you take good care of yourself, you cannot help but take good care of others. Author Cherry Hartman said, “Put yourself first. You can’t be anything for anybody else unless you take care of yourself.”
Here is a tip. Take your time. Stand close by and listen. Don’t rush. If you determine that this is a group you would like to participate with, move a little closer. Usually the group will open up and before you know it, you will be standing close as part of the group. Listen. Observe. Notice the direction of the conversation. If it doesn’t appeal to you or you have nothing to contribute… move on.
Nails on a Networking Chalkboard
All types of personalities – both introverted and extroverted – attend networking events. All it takes is good listening skills, good conversation, and the willingness to start building long-lasting business relationships. Feeling anxious, nervous, self-conscious, and exposed? Sorry, but you need to get over that. Proceed with confidence. My friend, Tom Hopkins says, “practice, drill and rehearse.” I say, “practice does not make you perfect, it makes you much better!”
If given the opportunity to introduce yourself – do it with pizazz. Don’t be ordinary. Be extra-ordinary! Up the ante – jazz up your “30 second” connection. Focus on your Unique Selling Point (USP) – it is what sets you and your business — or you as an individual — apart from your competition. It can be an actual fact or a perceived difference or specialty. Every networker needs one. 
