Working a Room If You’re SHY – No Pills Required

Susan RoAne (The Mingling Maven®), Guest Author

No matter if it’s a convention, meeting, party or company barbecue, events can be daunting because we are often out of our personal comfort zone. Proof: according to research stats, over 90% of America Adults self- identify as shy. The percentage of phobically shy is between 8 and 10%.

Marketing Pills For Shy People To Pop

In the 2007 edition of How To Work a Room I addressed the “medicalization” of shyness as something that ought to be stopped. I wrote that it seems that Pharma didn’t have enough customers for anti-anxiety/depression drugs, so they began to target the nervous speaker, the lone attendee, the person who was uncomfortable entering a roomful of people. Nothing like a big ad campaign to make something that 90% of American adults find to be daunting and make us feel abnormal! Of course, I recommended my book as a less expensive, but more valuable, antitidote.

It’s Normal To Be Uncomfortable

Less than 10% of us find walking into rooms full of strangers (or even acquaintances or family) to be easy to do. Therefore, the 90 % who don’t feel comfortable and self – identify as shy are normal. Take that info pill, Pharma!

A Room Full of Shy People

I’ve often said that I’d rather be at an event… in any room… with people who think they are shy.

1. Shy people focus on conversational partners. We don’t see their eyes darting around the room for the “more important” people or checking out their smart phones for messages as they talk to us.

2. They arrive on time so they don’t have to walk into crowded rooms.

3. Shy people know what it’s like to feel uncomfortable so they avoid those behaviors, actions and words that would make others feel that way.

The Magic “Pill” is preparation… for any event!

How To Work A Room®: 21 Timeless Tips

• R.S.V.P. – Say Yes!
• Read newspapers, magazines and websites.
• Dress appropriately.
• Arrive within 15 minutes of scheduled time.
• Plan a 7 to 9 second self-introduction.
• Be approachable: make eye contact and smile.
• Wear nametags on your right side.
• Use information on nametags to open conversations.
• Wear a conversation piece (tie, brooch, scarf, necklace).
• Be open to serendipity.
• Best icebreaker: Hi! or Hello! with a smile.
• Don’t wait. Initiate. Approach those standing alone.
• Be nice to everyone.
• Act like a host.
• Start with small talk.
• To avoid the “forgotten name nemesis,” always reintroduce yourself.
• Be in the moment. No glancing over shoulders.
• Keep Bluetooths in your pocket.
• Turn off all electronics, except your pacemaker.
• Listen actively and with your face – pay attention.
• Exit conversations graciously.

And one more for good luck… Have fun!

BONUS Articles: Exit Strategies From Networking Bores!
Shy, eh? Get Over It!

Copyright 2010 – Susan RoAne – Reprinted with permission. Susan RoAne is a speaker and author who has worked trade shows, conventions, planes, and the bleachers at Wrigley Field, and taught others to do the same. Her latest book, How to Create Your Own Luck: The You Never Know Approach to Networking, Taking Chances, and Opening Yourself to Opportunity, is out and her other books include How to Work a Room and The Secrets of Savvy Networking. To learn more call 415-239-2224. For further information: www.SusanRoAne.com, or e-mail @: Susan@SusanRoAne.com

Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Shy, eh? Get Over It!

Are you standing on the sidelines at networking events simply watching the action, feeling too shy or unimportant to get in the game?

If you are afraid of talking to people, how do you think they feel about talking to you? Many of them are just as afraid of you as you are of them. Afraid that you might ask them to step outside their comfort zone.

Business networking is all about creating rapport with others in the business world, the process involves direct interaction between people.

Fear of people and shyness are very real. It holds you back and prevents you from realizing your dreams and ambitions. If you’re sitting on the sidelines, whose fault is that? Hmmm.

Too bad! You don’t know what you’re missing. It’s time to get over that shyness and move forward with confidence and finesse.

Be Yourself – Just do what YOU do and don’t be afraid. I know. The first time is scary but if you keep going to networking events and never really put yourself out there you will never know the wonderful world of business networking. If you never make the effort to speak to others you will never become a part of their network. You’ll be all by yourself. Now that’s scary!

Introduce Yourself – “Hi. My name is Jenn. What do you do?” That didn’t hurt, did it? The key is to get the other person talking first. Listen for a connection to what you do. Ask questions. When you notice a connection and respond, you create a relationship bond. The other person will most likely ask you about your business, and you have the basis for future conversations.

Educate Yourself – Read networking articles and good networking books. What do you want to know? Do a Google.com search with a key word on a subject you would like to learn more about.

Be Brave – Dale Carnegie in his book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” once said, “Do the thing you fear to do and the death of fear is certain!” You should always very carefully examine the reasons why you choose not to do something. As long as something doesn’t harm you in some way, you can do it! You just have to face your fear and do it anyway. Once you have started, the fear you felt before will begin to disappear. Studies show that at least 85% or more of the world’s people suffer from some degree of a lack of self-esteem. Read, “The Impact of Lacking Self-Esteem on Business Professionals.”

Don’t Stop – Once you get started and introduce yourself to a few people and begin to ask questions, I feel certain that you will begin to see the benefits and they will far outweigh any fear that you once had.

BONUS Article: Working a Room If You’re SHY – No Pills Required

Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Visit ” Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.