Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James

Friday, January 15, 2010

“How Can I Help You?”

In my experience – while at a networking event – it is a rare occasion when someone I meet asks me this question. It seems that most will begin talking endlessly about themselves or their business without pausing to ask if I am the least bit interested.

This is one of the biggest mistakes new networkers make (and some not-so-new)! It’s the #1 reason some people have been so discouraged that after a few meetings they think everyone is a hustler and decide it’s a waste of time and stop going. Coming across as a hustler or being too aggressive when you first meet turns people off.

Networking is about creating and enhancing long-term relationships and you can’t do that if you never give the relationship time to develop.

Hmmm. To me “How can I help you?” is a natural question to ask of someone you’ve just met at a networking event. I cannot believe that everyone doesn’t already know this. It’s the most important question you can ask.

If this idea is new to you, pat yourself on the back that you’ve make the effort to learn a new networking skill. This one is crucial to your business success. By asking this question you help nurture others in the art of networking.

Sara Blumenfeld in her book, “The Nurturing Networker,” says, “Why does being a nurturing networker matter? It matters because you want to make a positive impact in the world, and the only way you can do that is through your relationships. It matters because it is more satisfying to give to others than to always be grasping for what you want and need. When you are giving, what you need will come to you effortlessly. It matters because it will change the way you look at things, and your life will be richer.”

It is important to change your mindset. You will never be successful at networking unless you stop attending events to SELL and begin to offer to help those who need help. You must think of networking as primarily a way to connect, develop relationships, and help other people. By focusing on them you will benefit much more than if you are more interested in having them focus on you.

Next time you’re at a networking event, after you’ve been introduced to someone new, sincerely ask “How can I help you?” and silently wait to see what happens.

By the way. . . it’s okay to ASK for help!

“Asking for help doesn’t mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence.” ~ Anne Wilson Schaef

netHQ

Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Visit ” Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG written by Larry James are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Advertisements

22 Comments »

  1. […] Articles: Is It a Lead or a Referral? Help Others – Give Before You Receive! “How Can I Help You?” Surround Yourself With […]

    Pingback by Others!?! | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Monday, October 2, 2017 @ 10:31 am | Reply

  2. […] How can I help you? […]

    Pingback by Collaboration and Beyond… | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Sunday, October 4, 2015 @ 8:37 am | Reply

  3. […] Articles: “How Can I Help You?” Your #1 Networking Priority! Surround Yourself With “Givers!” How Many Times Do I Have to Tell […]

    Pingback by Help Others – Give Before You Receive! | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Friday, July 24, 2015 @ 7:32 am | Reply

  4. […] Article: “How Can I Help You?” Out-of-Meeting Follow Up “Just Makin’ Some New […]

    Pingback by No Close Relationships ~ No Referrals! | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Thursday, July 16, 2015 @ 7:31 am | Reply

  5. […] Effective networkers are less concerned about what they might “get” in return for attending an event. They focus on helping others first! If you are more concerned about your ROI (return on investment) then you are missing the point. Getting yourself noticed expands your credibility and puts you in a better position to be a resource for assisting others. Networking is about helping others. Always ask, ““How can I help you?”“ […]

    Pingback by Your #1 Networking Priority! | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Saturday, July 4, 2015 @ 8:36 am | Reply

  6. […] Your Business Card? Out-of-Meeting Follow Up Too Busy to Listen? Give Generously and Graciously “How Can I Help You?” How Many Networking Groups Should You […]

    Pingback by 7 Most Common Networking Mishaps | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Wednesday, June 10, 2015 @ 7:32 am | Reply

  7. […] Articles: “How Can I Help You?” “I Can’t Help You, But I Know Someone Who […]

    Pingback by Questions You Haven’t Been Asking Your Network | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Saturday, June 6, 2015 @ 7:42 am | Reply

  8. […] Articles: “How Can I Help You?” 10 (+ 2) Networking Questions That Work Every Time 32 (Actually) Interesting Networking Questions […]

    Pingback by No Pressure Networking | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Wednesday, May 13, 2015 @ 7:30 am | Reply

  9. […] Think of yourself as a solution-finder, rather than a sales person. Be of assistance to others. “How can I help you?” is a great question to ask everyone you […]

    Pingback by Give Generously and Graciously | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Tuesday, December 16, 2014 @ 7:31 am | Reply

  10. […] it active through regular communication for mutual benefit. It’s based on the question “How can I help you?” and not with “What can I get?” 19. Networking is a process where you develop […]

    Pingback by What is Business Networking? | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Tuesday, September 23, 2014 @ 7:34 am | Reply

  11. […] the conversation by asking questions. “How may I help you?” is a good one to ask after you’ve commented on the hors d’oeuvers and introduced […]

    Pingback by Don’t be a Networking Wallflower | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Friday, April 4, 2014 @ 7:35 am | Reply

  12. […] of yourself as a solution-finder, rather than a sales person. Be of assistance to others. “How can I help you?” is a great question to ask everyone you […]

    Pingback by Don’t Wait Until You’re Drowning to Reach Out For Help! | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Thursday, February 13, 2014 @ 7:23 pm | Reply

  13. […] of yourself as a solution-finder, rather than a sales person. Be of assistance to others. “How can I help you?” is a great question to ask everyone you […]

    Pingback by Manage Your Mingle-Ability When Networking | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Friday, December 13, 2013 @ 7:36 am | Reply

  14. […] BONUS Article: How Can I Help You? […]

    Pingback by Train Your Referral Resources | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Tuesday, October 22, 2013 @ 7:30 am | Reply

  15. […] Article: When to Say, “Thank You!” Say “Thank You!” “How Can I Help You?” Amplify Your […]

    Pingback by Always be Expressing Appreciation! | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Wednesday, October 2, 2013 @ 7:32 am | Reply

  16. […] Business networking is not for the faint of heart. It takes work – real work. You don’t just go network, you plan to network. It requires some advance planning before you get to the meeting or event. You cannot be shy and network effectively. Often you may have to do something that feels uncomfortable… like walk up to a stranger, introduce yourself and ask, “How can I help you?“ […]

    Pingback by Learn As Much As You Can “Before” You Begin to Network! | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Tuesday, September 24, 2013 @ 7:33 am | Reply

  17. […] Effective networkers are less concerned about what they might “get” in return for attending an event. They focus on helping others first! If you are more concerned about your ROI (return on investment) then you are missing the point. Getting yourself noticed expands your credibility and puts you in a better position to be a resource for assisting others. Networking is about helping others. Always ask, “How can I help you?“ […]

    Pingback by How to Be a Red Ferrari in a Sea of Silver Cars | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 7:32 am | Reply

  18. […] to talk, tell about your product or sell, but to listen. Once you know more about them, ask, “How can I help you?”. Your first meeting should always focus on them. If they are someone you want to know […]

    Pingback by Networking’s 3 Ps ~ Perseverance, Persistence and Patience! « Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Wednesday, December 26, 2012 @ 8:31 am | Reply

  19. […] to talk, tell about your product or sell, but to listen. Once you know more about them, ask, “How can I help you?”. Your first meeting should always focus on them. If they are someone you want to know […]

    Pingback by Networking’s 3 Ps ~ Perseverance, Persistence and Patience! « Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Wednesday, December 26, 2012 @ 8:31 am | Reply

  20. […] BONUS Article: How Can I Help You! […]

    Pingback by “I Can’t Help You, But I Know Someone Who Can!” « Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Saturday, September 1, 2012 @ 12:47 pm | Reply

  21. […] can usually tell someone who gets the principle of giving when you hear them say, “How can I help you?” These are usually people who constantly ask themselves how they can contribute to the life […]

    Pingback by Give! « Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Thursday, August 16, 2012 @ 7:13 am | Reply

  22. […] Articles: How Can I Help You? Ask For What You […]

    Pingback by ASK! – Always Allow Your Friends the Opportunity to Help You! « Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Tuesday, January 17, 2012 @ 7:36 am | Reply


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: