Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James

Saturday, April 16, 2011

“I’m going to freshen my drink,” and Other Little White Lies

Filed under: Networking Etiquette,Networking Manners — Larry James @ 7:00 am

Arden Clise, Guest Author

Have you ever wondered how to end a conversation with someone at a networking event? Or, have you ever pondered whether someone is ditching you or just getting more food? Here are the answers.

The other night at a networking event I ran into someone I had met at another event. We were chatting, when during a somewhat awkward pause he looked at his plate and said “these stuffed mushrooms are really good. I’m going to get some more.” He walked away, went to the buffet and started filling up his plate. I stood there for a minute wondering if I should follow him, stay where I was and wait for him to return or find another person to talk to.

After standing there for a few more moments, feeling rather stupid, I realized he was not coming back. I wondered if I had said something wrong or maybe, horrors, I had halitosis. I felt foolish for standing there thinking he would return.

What went wrong here? As I reflected on this, I realized this man, I’ll call him Chris, was finished talking to me but had no idea how to gracefully end the conversation. He attempted by giving a plausible excuse, but he did not make it clear the conversation was over.

shawquoteThe most important rule when ending a conversation with someone, whether at a networking event, party or out and about, is to be gracious and kind to your conversation partner. Even if the person was the biggest bore or had the worse halitosis it’s important to not communicate displeasure with them. And, you must clearly end the conversation so you’re partner isn’t wondering if you’re coming back.

What could Chris have done differently? At the very least he should have said to me, “wow, these stuffed mushrooms are really good. I’m going to get some more. It was great seeing you again. Enjoy the event.”

Or. . . “I’m going to freshen my drink. I enjoyed our conversation. May I have your business card? I’d love to stay in touch.”

Or. . . “It’s been really nice talking to you. I don’t want to keep you from mingling with others. Enjoy the event.”

Or. . . “Arden, have you met Mary? She is also into biking. I bet you two have a lot in common.”Then make the introduction and exit the conversation.

All of these options are kind and clearly convey the conversation is finished. I would have known immediately Chris did not want me to follow him, nor wait for him to return after chowing down.

We really shouldn’t expect to talk to someone for more than five minutes at a networking event. That’s usually about how long we can sustain small talk with a stranger. So, expect to enter and exit several conversations at an event. Just be sure to exit conversations graciously, so that the person saves face and doesn’t wonder if they said or did something wrong.

A few other tips. When you’re talking to someone, give them your full attention and never scan the room looking for your next conversation partner. Even if the person you’re talking to isn’t a potential client or doesn’t offer what you’re looking for don’t just give up on the conversation. You never know who they know or if there might be partnership opportunities in the future.

If you’re walking into a networking event or party and you don’t know, anyone look for groups of three or more, because they tend to be more casual groups open to newcomers. Or introduce yourself to someone standing alone. Most likely this person doesn’t know anyone either and will be grateful you reached out.

Make networking about others not you. Be gracious and kind, and you will have much more success.

BONUS Article: Exit Strategies From Networking Bores!


Copyright © 2011 – Arden Clise. Reprinted with permission. Arden Clise, President of Clise Etiquette, is a business etiquette consultant, radio show host and columnist. As a speaker and corporate trainer, Arden is an expert in the field of business etiquette. Her business etiquette column is a regular feature in The Puget Sound Business Journal and her radio show is featured every Monday on KSER. She has been quoted in several local and national publications, and has been a featured guest on TV and radio shows. Visit Arden’s Website and Blog.

Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. –

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


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1 Comment »

  1. […] Articles: Exit Strategies From Networking Bores! “I’m going to freshen my drink,” and Other Little White Lies 22 Ways To Network Like A […]

    Pingback by NEVER Start a Networking Conversation With, “What do you do?” « Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Tuesday, November 20, 2012 @ 8:32 am | Reply

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