Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Happiness in Networking is YOUR Problem…

Filed under: Networking Tip,Personal Growth — Larry James @ 9:00 am

If you are not happy with the results you are getting from business networking… guess what?

Happiness is a choice! Stop complaining and do something different! Being an adult means making happiness your problem to solve. Instead of expecting others in your network to make you happy or playing the victim so that you can feel in control or blame others for your lack of results you must have a tremendous attitude shift and know that you have to work at pleasing yourself.

helpinghandsBusiness networking can be an exercise in personal development. It’s time to figure out what you would need to avoid to keep you from being displeased. Who should you avoid? Avoid people who bring you down, who talk negatively about their business and others and who don’t inspire you when you are around them.

What different or new choices in your networking arsenal could you put into action? Could one be to focus less on promoting yourself in favor of paying more attention to the needs of others in your network?

I once heard someone say, “If you want to shake yourself loose from what holds you back, volunteer to help someone else!” Many people don’t understand the profound sense of happiness that you get when you help others.

In other words, focus on helping others in your network. Be a resource for them. Be sincere in your interest in them. Make good eye contact. You must give before you receive. Find out what they need and help them find it. Just do that and I can promise surprising benefits and amazing results.

Perhaps attending a networking seminar or finding someone – a mentor – who will offer creative suggestions that they have used that they find useful. Positive results come from being open and friendly (being approachable), from taking the initiative to learn more about networking, from working smart at making genuinely helpful contributions wherever you meet people. We crave feeling supported, valued and connected. Do everything you can to help others feel this way.

If there is no special difference between you and the other people in your network, then people have no special reason whatsoever to like you and trust you and choose to work with you. Find a way to create a new you. Keep your commitments and promises. Don’t be like everyone else. Connect with others. Learn how to strengthen old bonds and make new ones. Helping others is a strength. That kind of strength gets special attention. You help others by setting a good example. You can best help others when you are not emotionally attached to the outcome.

EmersonSomeone once said, “We are all students on this path. Some who are farther along the path may be called upon to help you; others, who have not traveled as far, may look to you for help.”

When you meet like-minded networkers with these kind of attitudes, your network will grow and prosper because they’ll see you are indeed interested in helping others and you can make things happen. The better your attitude of helping others, the better you will feel about yourself.

My friend, Zig Zigler, once said, “You can have everything you want in life if you help enough people get what they want.” When you help people, the world you live in begins conspiring to help you get what you want.

In one compelling study, a key difference between very happy people and less-happy people was good relationships. What are the benefits from better relationships with others? You develop an envious reputation, more confidence, more peace of mind, and more happiness (happiness is contagious) which is a natural outcome and will help insure much better results from your networking efforts. You will become a positive influence that people admire, not the unhappy, boring networker who attempts to sell their services before the relationship is in place and that others avoid.

netHQCopyright © 2011 – Larry James. Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. –

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page:
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at:
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at:
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at:
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at:


1 Comment »

  1. […] In the beginning of the article, Ivan asked, “Are you helping them in the same way you want them to help you?” I’ve been helping to train networkers for more than 26 years. I find that the people who complain the most that networking isn’t working for them are really the guilty ones. They are not giving referrals or leads. Time to read, “Happiness in Networking is YOUR Problem…“ […]

    Pingback by Are You Helping Others in the Same Way You Want Them to Help You? | Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James — Sunday, July 14, 2013 @ 8:41 am | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at