Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Is It a Lead or a Referral?

There is a distinction that networkers must learn. There is a BIG difference between a lead and a referral. It’s very important to know the difference if you want to be a successful networker.

leadsVSreferralsWhen someone in your network gives you a lead they are giving you a name to call, not a referral. As we help each other to find more business, why would we want to send our valued referral partners into the dark abyss of leads that most likely will never work out? It’s basically not much better than a cold-call. You don’t need them for that. You could purchase a random source of leads and get basically the same thing. You can get leads from the newspaper, the phone book, or the computer, etc.

“However, a referral is the opportunity to do business with someone in the market to buy your product or service who’s been told about you by a mutual friend or associate. In other words, when you contact them, they already know who you are and what you do. It is stronger than just a lead because the prospect has talked to your mutual acquaintance and is generally expecting the call. Hence, they are referred.” ~ Ivan Misner

A referral is the opportunity to do business. Referrals are much stronger than a lead in that this prospect has talked to your mutual acquaintance and is generally expecting your call. The best kind of referral is when someone gives you permission to use their name to get in the door. Those are the kind of referrals that have the highest closing rate. The referring networker has already set up some level of trust and rapport by recommending the person they’re referring. Those are “quality” referrals.

So many networkers are guilty of scrambling around at the last moment trying to come up with a name to give you as a lead when they are on the way to the networking meeting. Those are the worse kind. You NEVER want to hand out a referral until you’ve had a conversation with the person that you are giving as the referral. I want to know if the person’s name they are giving me knows who I am, how I might help and is expecting my call.

Ivan Misner goes into much more detail in his article, “What’s Better: A Lead or a Referral?” I highly recommend that you read it to get the “rest of the story.”

Another example of a failed lead or referral is when someone in your network tells you, “I gave someone your name.” That’s nice that you were thinking about me, but am I supposed to be happy about that? They have my name and I have no way to follow up.  Don’t do me any favors! They called you to get help. If you can’t help them, pass the referral to someone you trust who can.

If you’ve done your job by talking about me and setting up some level of trust, how about giving them my number and telling them, “Larry James is one of my trusted friends, I’m sure he will serve you well. I’ll tell him about you and give him your name and contact information so you two can get together.” I never ask if I can give someone their name, I just do it. If they ask me not to, I honor their request. If not, I pass the referral  – with complete contact info – along to someone I trust. In my wedding business, brides and grooms often hire the first person who calls them, so it’s imperative that I have their contact info. Next, give me their name and contact info so I can follow up immediately.

followupThen… there’s the follow-up! This is where most networkers drop the ball. You’ve all heard people say, “Strike while the iron’s hot!” This adage alludes to the blacksmith’s forge (late 1300s). “Make hay while the sun shines” is another. That means that when opportunity shows up, you take advantage of it while it’s available. As soon as you receive a referral… that’s when the iron is hot. “As soon as possible” is best and certainly within 24 hours is a must.

BONUS Articles:
Referrals vs. Recommendations
How Long Has it Been…
How Much Time Do You Spend Looking for Referrals For Others?
Are You Helping Others in the Same Way You Want Them to Help You?

netHQ

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
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Saturday, December 21, 2013

What is Networking?

Filed under: Networking Defined — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , ,

Here is my definition:

Networking is using your creative talents to help others achieve their goals as you cultivate a network of people strategically positioned to support you in your goals… expecting nothing in return!

WhatISNetworkingTo achieve maximum benefits while attending any function where the opportunity for networking exists, it is important to have a clear understanding of networking. You will notice that my definition of networking has two parts. #1 – Helping others, and #2 – Helping yourself. In that order.

So, you say, "What's this about expecting nothing in return?"

Often we expect people who we help to help us. That would be nice. And it doesn't always work that way. Some people are in better positions to help some than others. Just give. That's the key. Just give. Willingly. It will come back to you.

Help people and you get helped. Have no expectations about where your assistance should come from. Just give. And keep on giving. It will come… often when you least expect it and when you most need it.

netHQ

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Stay Connected!

Something awful will happen if you are out of touch with the people who count in your network… NOTHING!

Be in touch! Make the right connections. Then, do whatever it takes to hold on to them! Maintaining alliances is one of the keys to your success. Staying connected is the essence of achievement!

A synonym for connected is related. When you develop good, close, personal and business relationships with people you are more likely to stay connected. Never take your personal or business relationships for granted. What you take for granted disappears! Keeping in touch is the antidote for taking for granted. Staying connected is proof that the relationship is special! Never let this opportunity slip through the cracks.

stayconnectedStaying connected takes some effort! It requires a follow-up plan for it to work! Face it, if you are going to succeed in the long haul, personal contacts with an effective follow-up plan designed to have them continue must be the cornerstone of your own personal marketing plan. Plan to stay connected and you will stay connected! Connections last only as long as we continue to actively invest in them. Invest in developing relationships that continue!

The number one reason salespeople fail is because they don’t ask for the order. The number two reason salespeople fail is because they do not follow-up on what they get started! Create your own effective follow-up system for keeping connected.

“Love ’em and leave ’em!” doesn’t work! In other words, the salesperson who, after making a sale, moves on to what’s next without paying attention to the follow-up loses!

People will go places, do things and go out of their way to associate with people who make them feel important, cared for, worthwhile and in control of their lives. Your challenge is to stay connected and provide those needs for the special people in your life.

Writing notes to friends, customers and clients is an excellent way to stay connected!

Keep your name in front of people. Send them a brochure. Mail them a flyer. Always include a business card! If your friends are doing things that get recognized in the local paper, clip the article and send it to them with a nice note. I usually say, “It’s good to see good friends making good news! Thought you might like to have another copy of the article from the newspaper.”

If someone writes an article for a magazine or newspaper, jot him or her a quick note to let him or her know how the article contributed to you. Send them an extra copy and a business card!

Use the telephone to stay in touch. Having a good reason to call is better than having lots of people to call. Before you pick up the phone, make a brief list of what you want to communicate. Have a specific idea to discuss and be sure that the reason you call is important to the person called.

Keep it brief. Say hello, establish the relationship again, then get to the point, say what you want to say and get off of the phone! One reason people hesitate to use the phone is because they are afraid they will get hooked into a long, drawn-out conversation. If you know what you want to say, this won’t happen. Be prepared! Let them know it is a business call and you have other calls to make. Respect their time and they will respect your time. A brief telephone connection is better than no connection at all!

A top salesperson in one of my seminars said she was having trouble getting off the phone at home in the evenings when someone called her. She was raised to believe that it was rude to end the conversation when someone called you. Professional speaker, Larry Winget, uses a method that has worked well for him in this situation. If the conversation is dragging on, he politely tells the caller, “I know you’re busy, so I better let you go now!” He tells me he has never had anyone argue that they are not busy. It may take a bit of courage for you to do this, but why not do it anyway and see what happens!

Today’s telephones and cell phones may let you run, but they won’t let you hide. They may let you call from anywhere, but the phone at the other end will be smart enough to screen the call and either let you through or banish you to the appropriate answering machine or voice mail and even determine what recording to play for you. Today there are pocket phones. They ring, they beep and some of them even softly repeat your name. They can identify a caller and can even give you a fix on the location of the caller. Privacy becomes an issue. If you want privacy it’s for sale. You can now buy “call blocker.” Several other ways to stay connected that relate to the telephone are cellular telephones, voice mail, answering machines, pocket pagers, mobile satellite services and portable computers. All are designed to assist you in staying connected!

The use of ‘800’ numbers also encourages customers and friends to stay in touch with us without the cost of a call.

Another way to stay connected is to invite people to breakfast! I know, everyone eats lunch and you would rather do lunch than get up that early! It has been my experience that people who are willing to get up and show up for an early breakfast are committed to having their business and relationships work! I like to be with people like that. Personally, I would rather sleep a little later and work later, however, I have found that when I plan a breakfast instead of lunch, I get more accomplished. Not only at the breakfast meeting, but also for the rest of the day. When the breakfast meeting is over, I find myself charged up and ready to get at it!

Do lunch also! Have an agenda. Get things done! If you are going to meet someone for lunch, don’t get carried away with a long, drawn- out lunch! Let them know in advance that you have an appointment at 1:15 or 1:30 p.m. Saying this puts them on notice that you are busy and that you need to get down to business. It may be that your appointment is with yourself; one that you made to support yourself in getting back to your office so you can get back to more of what needs to be done. It is not necessary to tell them who your appointment is with. This idea may help you stay on target!

Come up with ideas for people to use in their business! If you have an idea that is working for you, share it! Recommend publications they might be interested in. Share some of your connections with them. Refer them to people who can be of assistance to them. Send them copies of magazine articles that might be of interest.

Find out who networks! Stay close with those people! They may know people you need to know! If you have a need to meet someone special, make some calls and find out who knows them. When you are well connected, you can usually find out anything you want in three to five phone calls. If you doubt for a minute that this is true, be someone who actively connects and who has a plan to stay connected and prove it to yourself! Your first call may not be a direct hit; however, they may know someone who knows!

Write articles for the newspaper and magazines to inform and help others stay in touch with what you are doing. Send news releases to the media when you do something newsworthy! When you send a news release, don’t judge the newsworthiness of it. Let the newspaper do that. Many times what you think may not be very newsworthy, may be just the filler they need at the time they need it. Go to the library and read a book about how to write effective news releases. It is there you will learn the guidelines that should always be followed to get the editor’s attention!

Invent new ways to be in touch and to stay connected! Brainstorm with your friends! Make “staying connected” a topic at a sales meeting! Trade ideas about staying in touch! Exchange contacts!

Haven’t got the knack of networking. . . hire a Coach!

Visit people in their office. Get to know them one-on-one! It’s a great opportunity to see what they do. Ask them for a tour of their office if it’s appropriate. Take this opportunity to ask them to define precisely what kind of business leads they are looking for.

Stay connected by planning a “mixer” at your office. Prepare a flyer and invite fifteen to twenty friends to an informal get-together. Ask them to bring someone they would like to get to know better. Have a little wine and cheese or soft drinks and snacks. Tell them to bring lots of business cards. Let them get to know you and each other on a social level. Offer a tour of your office. One and a half to two hours is plenty.

When they arrive, ask them to deposit their business card in the fish bowl. Have a drawing. Give something away! Review the business cards the next day and follow up on the people you need to get to know better. This is also a good way to develop a mailing list!

Have name tags! I recommend the plastic business card holders. This will assist the people in your network to associate the names with the businesses!

Help them get acquainted. About a half hour into the “mixer,” ask for everyone’s attention. Offer a welcome, make a few brief remarks about your business, invite them to mix with others, exchange business cards and thank them for coming. Ask if there is anyone that has a special need to meet someone? See if you can help them make the connection!

Social connections are important. They allow you to mix business and pleasure. They let you feel comfortable with talking business in a relaxed setting.

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. – Plato

Be creative when you stay connected. Always give people something with your name and phone number on it!

Stay in touch with your friends, business associates, your customers and clients and all of the people in your life that matter.

Never forget the people in your network and never let them forget you!

netHQ

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Friday, December 13, 2013

Manage Your Mingle-Ability When Networking

Filed under: Networking — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , ,

It’s natural to gravitate towards people we like, know and trust. Professional networkers don’t do that! They look for new people to meet. Some people go to a networking meeting or event and all they do is one of two things:

#1. They hang out all evening with their friends – people they already know. Don’t fall into the trap of sticking together with friends for the whole event. Learn to manage your mingle-ability!

#2. They circle the room like a buzzard collecting as many business cards as they can fit in their pocket(s) and all the while pitching their product or service… getting nowhere!

NervousNedNETIf you want to build a strong network, you have to meet new people. Check your attitude. It’s important to maintain an outgoing and friendly attitude. Give yourself a positive talking to before you enter the room. If you don’t like people, or are embarrassed or to shy to talk to people, “get over it!” Feel the fear and do it anyway! It’s not always easy to muster the energy to try and connect with people at networking events, however it’s something you must learn to do.

View networking as an occasion to find what you have in common with other people there. Commonalities help “strangers” connect more easily. Take the initiative to approach others, introduce yourself, and share a piece of information that could reveal the common thread you share with them. Remember they are there for the same reason you are; to meet new people and develop new relationships.

Don’t be a buzzard! Forget #2 above. That doesn’t get you where you want to go.

I love people! it’s one of the mandatory characteristics of a successful networker. If you don’t like people and walk around like a sourpuss people may get the wrong impression. When I arrive at a networking event, I stop at the door for a few moments and look around. This gives me time to look for people that I don’t know. I wear my biggest smile and look for someone new to start a conversation with.

If I see people in groups chatting, I walk towards them. Don’t be afraid to eavesdrop. I see if I can overhear bits of conversations. If it’s something I am familiar with, I usually say: “Excuse me, but I couldn’t help overhearing. My name is Larry James and if you don’t mind, I __(say something to get their attention__,” and work my way into the conversation. I try to find something I have in common with them. If not, I more on.

Don’t be shy. At least stop saying you are shy. That doesn’t help you get over it. Expressing an interest in people will help them remember you. Shy people often hang out online because they think it’s easier to meet people if you don’t have to talk with them face-to-face. There really is no substitute for getting over your shyness than by making yourself start a conversation with a stranger. Walking into a room full of strangers can be intimidating. Set a couple of goals like: speak to three new people before you leave.

Howtoworkaroom

Click cover for info

You don’t have to say anything profound. Comment on the venue, the program or the food. Break the ice by asking a question. You will get better results if you will consider a few question to ask before you arrive at the meeting. You can always keep the conversation going by asking questions to see where they might take you. You might want to ask if they have been to the meeting before or what they like best about this group or how long they’ve live here.

“Ask open-ended questions. These are questions that ask who, what, where, when and how – as opposed to questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no. Your goal is to explore ideas and opinions and also to show your listening skills.” ~ Nisa Chitakasem

I always try to find someone who I can help. For example, I met a woman recently that just moved here and was in need of a plumber. When I returned to my office, I called her and gave her a referral. Be generous with these kind of referrals, they help build a new relationship and because you offered assistance, they will remember you. Most people appreciate a favor and tend to reciprocate. However, it works best if you give a referral without expecting anything in return.

When you attend networking events, it is important for you to walk through the door with the following definition of networking in mind.

“Networking is… using your creative talents to help others achieve their goals as you cultivate a network of people strategically positioned to support you in your goals… expecting nothing in return!” ~ Larry James

Remember, networking and selling DO NOT mix! Think of yourself as a solution-finder, rather than a sales person. Be of assistance to others. “How can I help you?” is a great question to ask everyone you meet.

BONUS Articles: Working a Room: Guide for the Introverted
How to Work a Room
Overcoming Shyness – 3 articles

netHQ

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Monday, December 9, 2013

Invite Your Referral Resources to Your Next Networking Meeting

Filed under: Helping Others,Networking — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: ,

“When was the last time you invited a referral source to a networking event? Introducing him to other business people you know gives your source an opportunity to meet others in your target market and may also provide new business opportunities.” ~ Ivan Misner

Here is the set-up for this powerful strategy:

1. Be sure you have several leads to pass out at your next networking meeting to demonstrate your sincerity about networking.

InviteAfriend2. Take a serious look at people you network with outside of your networking group. Single out the ones you have great relationships with and invite them to your next networking meeting. NOTE: If your group is one that only allows one Realtor, one printer, etc., be sure that the person you invite will not clash with your groups restrictions. Your friend might just be the one to fill one of the open categories in your group.

3. Invite someone you’d like to know better to go along with you to your next networking meeting. They will have a chance to meet new people, and you both win. Always prioritise helping and giving to others ahead of taking and receiving for yourself.

I believe it is important for your friends to see how active you are in the community. Introduce them to your world. Think beyond the people you would typically see at other business networking events. Some of the most important connections are not business people, and consequently you need to be creative in reaching them. They need to know that you are involved and are an invaluable resource. They also need to see that networking works, i.e., they will see you pass out several business referrals to others, etc.

Introduce your friend to the leader of the group and to the people in your group that are the go-getters. You can strengthen your relationship with your friend by increasing the value of your friendship. This gives your friend an opportunity to meet others in your target market. It may also provide new business opportunities for each of you.

Offer your referral source a referral he or she might find useful. It’s a wonderful way to strengthen your relationship. By helping build your source’s business, you help create a debt of gratitude that will encourage your source to respond in kind. The result will be that they will think of you whenever they or someone they know needs your services and will also look to you as a referral source, keeping you and your business front and center in their minds.

A true networker is one who constantly seeks to form new relationships and strengthen them by helping others solve problems and achieve their goals. The next time you attend a business networking event, take along a referral partner, client or other contact from your own personal network. Your focus will be on helping them make new contacts, so introduce them to people who can potentially become their clients, partners or who are simply “good people to know.” You will sell yourself best by giving helpful information in a professional manner. Everything you do to help another person strengthens your relationship.

netHQ

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Networkers! Pay Attention!

Filed under: Communication,Networking,Pay Attention — Larry James @ 7:30 am

In my own experience, I have found that since I am learning to pay attention, I find myself more interested in other people. I say learning, because I probably will always be learning this lesson. Until I no longer have the problem of not listening, I will always be learning to pay attention. Some of my greatest lessons in life were learned “by accident” because I was paying attention.

I should point out here that I have a belief that there are no “accidents.” I believe that everything happens for a purpose. I mentioned earlier that one of the reasons we continue to experience the same problems over and over again is because we haven’t learned the lesson yet. Pay attention and learn the lesson the first time. Life will just keep on happening to you until you learn to pay attention and begin to happen to life.

Utalk2MUCHSome of us just plain talk too much! Could it be? “Nah! Not me!

Me? Talk too much?” We talk ourselves out of business. We talk ourselves out of relationships, both personal and professional. We talk so much we don’t notice that the other person stopped listening a long time ago. A winner listens.

We have all been around people who talk too much. Most of the time we have to wait until the other person’s mouth gets tired before we can get a word in. Do you continue to hang around these people? Not usually. I avoid them. If people are avoiding you, or you are not walking away from a customer with the information you need to make the sale, stop and survey the situation.

If this is happening to you when you are networking, time to change your behavior. There is no chance to build a meaningful relationship with anyone if you are the only one talking. Are you paying attention or talking too much? Do you really hear what people say when you listen?

It has been said that when people talk too much it is a sure sign of insecurity. The last thing you want to do if you are insecure is talk too much. Listen. You might learn something that will help you with your insecurities. We all know people who try to dazzle you with their brilliance and generally end up only blasting you with their bad breath. You are less likely to say something that demonstrates your ignorance when you are engaged in effective listening. A closed mouth gathers no foot!

There are times when we are so excited about the conversation that we forget common courtesy. We step on other people’s words. We want to let them know that we are on track so we interrupt whenever they take a breath. This is called “rude.” Nothing is more annoying than a person who, by demonstrating their impatience in this way, gives the appearance of not being interested in what you have to say.

It is not possible to pay attention and talk at the same time! It is also extremely difficult, if not nearly impossible for the person talking to stay on track. Slow down. You can tell them what you think when they are through talking. If you want to slow the conversation, keep stepping on other people’s words. You can then become known to your friends as “irritating.”

How can you possibly hear what the other person is saying if you are talking most of the time, or if you are thinking about what you are going to say next, while they are talking?

“It is better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one, than to have opportunity and not be prepared.” ~ Whitney Young

If you monopolize the conversation, minds will wander. Remember to hold the conversational ball briefly. Then give it a toss and let someone else have an opportunity to play in the conversation. Remember, “Take turns?”

Shakespeare once said, “Let thy speech be short, comprehending much in few words.”

“The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

My good friend and sales trainer Don Hutson says, “If you can say it with ‘Blah!’ don’t say ‘Blah, blah!'”

Listen more and talk less. You can’t learn anything when you’re talking.

netHQ

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Sunday, December 1, 2013

Networking vs. Direct Selling

Filed under: Networking — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: ,

Ivan Misner, Guest Author

Do not confuse direct selling with networking. Of course, there is always someone out there who says, “But, Ivan, I’ve made sales before by attending a networking event.” I’m not saying it doesn’t ever happen, but it occurs about as often as a solar eclipse. You’re crazy if you think the odds are in your favor to “sell” at a networking event.

NetworkingVSselling2So why go to a networking meeting? You go because networking is more about farming than it is about hunting.

Sometimes you go to increase your visibility and to connect with people you have never met. Sometimes you go to establish further credibility with people you know. And sometimes you may go to meet a long-time referral partner and do some business.

In any case, the true master networkers know that networking events are about moving through the relationship process and not just about closing deals.

Visibility leads to credibility which, with time and effort, leads to profitability.

“Networking is never about selling your stuff at networking events. Savvy networkers know that to begin receiving quality referrals (a great side benefit) only comes after other networkers begin to like you and trust you. That only happens once people have a close business relationship with you. Networking in only and always about building long-lasting relationships. That takes time! There is seldom any instant gratification when networking unless you count meeting someone with which to begin building a new relationship. Networking will teach you patience!” ~ Larry James

BONUS Articles: A Network Relationship Takes Months to Build, Not Minutes
Networking?? Focus on Relationships!
Let’s Get Serious!
Distinctions Networkers Often Miss!

MisnerCopyright © 2013 – Ivan Misner. Called the father of modern networking, Dr. Ivan Misner is the Founder of BNI and the senior partner for the Referral Institute. He has written nine books, including his New York Times best seller, Truth or Delusion? Busting Networking’s Biggest Myths.

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netHQLarry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

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