“When you want something from someone else, ask. You’ll be OK if they say no. Asking is being true to yourself.” ~ Cherry Hartman
Ask for what you want. Winners are skilled at getting help. Successful people are askers. They develop a network of support. They are not afraid to learn from the experts. Their support system consists of people in the community and even throughout the country that make themselves available to them when needed. They regularly communicate with other business professionals who are experts in their fields of endeavor. They are not subtle or indirect. They speak clearly about their needs and ask.
Don’t drop casual hints. People cannot read your mind. It is a mistake to assume that people know what you want. This kind of assumption stymies possibility. Be adventurous in expressing your needs. Ask. If you don’t ask, you become a victim of your own inability to communicate. This is not a guessing game. People appreciate honest candor. If you don’t ask for what you want you haven’t earned the right to have it.
Most people are not willing to admit they need help, so they withhold. They resist asking for assistance and in the process refuse others the opportunity to contribute to them. Withholding causes one of life’s biggest and most damaging problems. Keeping things to yourself is not healthy for you or anyone else. Share your needs. Ask for assistance. Can you see that withholding doesn’t work?
On the other hand, there is a danger in constantly presenting yourself as someone who is always in a position of needing something or of expressing yourself as needy. We are not talking about being a whiner. We are not talking about being a complainer. Whiners and complainers come across as weak people who are needy.
Sharp people can spot them a mile away. We are talking about always asking and never doing. It is one thing to ask for someone’s assistance and another to never do anything with their advice! If you are interested in knowing and doing. . . ask. Some people ask only to call attention to themselves. Avoid being one of those people. Ask for assistance when you need it and ask people who are in a position to assist you. Then do something with what you have learned.
At the risk of sounding sexist, it’s been my observation that men particularly have a problem in this area – women too, but mostly men. Many men were brought up to believe that we have to do it all by ourselves. We have to be totally responsible. If we ask for help, it’s a sign of weakness. Hogwash! I personally believe it to be a sign of strength. It takes courage to admit you don’t know and ask for help. Asking is accepting responsibility for not knowing and trusting yourself to be courageous enough to ask for someone’s help.
Successful people love to help others. Ask them for help. It is one of the most sincere compliments you can give. Asking a successful person for assistance is an acknowledgement of their expertise, wisdom, knowledge and experience. Asking successful people for advice allows them to contribute to you. It is one of the keys to success. It has been my experience that the more successful a person is, the more he or she is willing to share their good fortune with others. It is a life skill worth duplicating. Capitalize on their generosity. Caution: Be aware of and respect their time limitations. Know what you want to ask for, ask for it, say, “thank you,” ask if there is anything that you can do for them and move on.
Although this is great advice… it is important to be known for “giving” referrals, business info, ideas, etc., before asking for something from anyone else in your network! All “ask” and no “give” will not work!
Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”
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