Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Referral Tips: Do You Have Sex On The First Date?

Jacky Sherman, Guest Author

It may have been a while since your last first date. If it is then think back into the mists of time. Ahh the memories; but I digress. Having sex on the first date is a high risk strategy if you are looking for a long term relationship rather than a one night stand.

NETengagementCan you trust them? What are they like? What will they want to do? What if you or they decide halfway through that you’ve made a mistake?

It takes time to get to know someone. If you want to take the relationship forward, you need to take some steps towards intimacy by the end of the date.

Can we apply any of this to networking? Well, I’m not suggesting that you pucker up at your next networking event! Let’s examine what happens when you agree to meet up with someone you’ve just met networking. Here are three common mistakes people make:

1. Treat your network group like a Swingers party. No, you are not expected to refer everyone just because they are in the same group as you. Equally they don’t have to refer you either.

2. Fumble with their clothes before you’re even through the door. Don’t give a full on referral during that meeting even if they offer a service someone you know needs. You have no idea if they’re any good.

3. Get on really well but neither of you makes a move to take things further. Perhaps the most common mistake of all. If you got on well then before you part, agree what you are going to do for each other. So many people don’t take the initiative. So nothing happens!

NETpartnerMy Referral Tip this week is this: If you want to take the relationship further then end your meeting with the equivalent of a kiss. Make it something small that you can do for each other. Maybe an invitation? A promise of an introduction?

You go 90% of the way to make this happen! Just remember to let them come forward that last 10% by themselves and it may just be the start of a beautiful relationship!

Larry’s NOTE: Read the full unabridged article here!

BONUS Articles: Is It a Lead or a Referral?
How Long Has it Been…
Are You Helping Others in the Same Way You Want Them to Help You?
A Networking Referral Unraveled

ReferralInstJackyShermanCopyright © 2014 – Jacky Sherman. Reprinted with permission. This article is adapted from Jacky’s blog @ http://blog.ReferralInstitutenn.co.uk. Jacky is the Franchise owner for The Referral Institute, Northampton, England. The Referral Institute is an International Consulting and Training company 100% dedicated to Referral Marketing. She offers a wide range of workshops and coaching to business people who want to generate amazing business through identifying and collaborating with the gold dust in their network. Contact Jacky Sherman, Jacky@referralinstitutenn.co.uk. http://ReferralInstitutenn.co.uk

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netHQLarry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

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Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Networking Relationships Begin With “Hello!”

When I first began to actively network I was sometimes intimidated by and hesitant to talk to the movers and shakers. No longer. I have since discovered that people in networking who know the rules and are very successful are the people you really need to get to know. In fact, some of the most successful people I know have contributed a large part to my success (Mark Victor Hansen, Tom Hopkins, W. Steven Brown, and others).

NetHELLOWhen it comes to meeting new people, one of the biggest obstacles for most people is simply building up the courage to approach a stranger and start a conversation. When you’re around accomplished people, be quick to say, “Hello!” Don’t hold back. Introduce yourself to begin the conversation. Make an observation or compliment. Make small talk. Asking questions exhibits a genuine interest in them. It’s also important to know when to shut up.

We are all coming from the same place. Most find it hard to just walk up to a stranger and begin talking. We get anxious and overthink the situation. At first, we are all at least a little nervous. We all wonder where and how we’ll fit in.

Think about how many opportunities you have allowed to pass because you were too slow to make a move to say, “Hello.” You’ll never know what you missed out on unless you put yourself out there. If this is you, it’s high time you step out of your comfort zone.

When is the best time to approach someone you want to know? The answer is: Within the first 3 seconds you see them. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted.

3SecondRuleHave you heard of “The 3-Second Rule?” Originally this concept appeared in a book about how to pick up women. I have found that it works very well when networking too. The rule is simple: When you see someone interesting to talk to, you have three seconds to walk up and say hello. Wait longer and you’ll either overthink it and screw it up or overthink it and never approach. I’ve been there and done that. With only 3 seconds, you don’t have enough time to let anxiety get the best of you. It’s a very simple rule, and extremely effective.

Not sure what to say? It really doesn’t matter. Anything is better than nothing, because it takes you from being a no-name in a sea of faces to being an actual person with a story who had the courage to say hello. I suggest that you ask lots of questions; about them and their business. Determine if there is anything that you can do to help them.

If it’s someone you’ve always wanted to meet, you’ll at least be able to open by thanking them for their work and how it’s impacted you. The 3-Second Rule isn’t just for people you recognize. Use it to talk to anyone and everyone who looks interesting. In the beginning, apply it to everyone you see. It’s just like warming up for a race or big talk. It helps to build your self-confidence and overcome your social anxiety. Do that by saying hello to anyone you can, especially when there’s nothing at stake.

When networking it’s important to view everyone as friends you haven’t met yet. Then simply say, “Hello!”

Larry’s NOTE: A special “Thank you” to Scott Dimsmore for introducing me to “The 3-Second Rule.”

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Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Friday, August 22, 2014

Quiet Please!

The purpose of a “30-second connection” (some call it an elevator speech) at the beginning of a networking meeting is to help you learn more about other member’s businesses and the type of business referrals that would be helpful to them.

During that time… “it’s your job to be helpful.” 😉

QuietPleaseYou can best do that by being respectful and simply listen. Consider the possibility that you can learn a lot more about them and their business when you listen than when you speak while someone else is talking.

It has been noted that there are sometimes quite a few private conversations going on during this very important part of the meeting. During that time, it’s important to listen.

As a courtesy to the member who is telling us about them and their business, let’s remember to give them our full attention.

Part of your responsibility to other members is to weekly (not weakly) be on the lookout for opportunities to offer business referrals to other members. What is your commitment to do so? It only takes a few minutes each week to focus on a single member to give referrals to. When you listen to other member’s “30-second connections” you are better prepared to do so.

Elevator-SpeechCartoonMake a couple of notes and place them in your car, on your desk, on your bathroom mirror, to remind you to actively look for business referrals. Make it part of your daily routine.

If you are not getting very many business referrals, you are probably not giving many. It you want to call attention to yourself and your business you must – not should – but MUST pay attention to others!

Larry’s NOTE: I have substituted the words “30 Second Connection” in the place of the word “elevator pitch.” Pitching is selling. That is a BIG “no-no” at a networking meeting or event. It’s better to give your “elevator speech” or as I call it, “your 30-second connection” without making it sound like an elevator pitch. Practice saying it different ways so it doesn’t sound canned.

BONUS Articles: More about “30-second connections”

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Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Monday, August 18, 2014

Elevate Your Networking Game

There are all kinds of people in networking. Some are confident and some are not. Self-confidence is important if you are going to be successful as you network.

Confidence is a strange quality. Most people don’t have anywhere near enough to push them forward to undertake tricky challenges. Our confidence is affected by a huge number of factors, including how we were brought up when we were young, our parents’ style and approach, the equality and strength of our relationships, and our own ability to maintain a positive self-image. Self-confidence can be gained only through practical know-how; know-how comes from knowledge and experience, and experience can be gleaned only through a willingness to confront obstacles and situations that others ordinarily fear. It is much easier to overcome any fear with a high level of self-confidence.

ElevateNETgameIf you are anything but a natural networker, you may obsessively worry about coming across as someone who lack confidence in your networking abilities. If you are tired of collecting business cards and funneling names into your contact database without actually getting anywhere you may want to think about what you must do to convert those names into friends who like and trust you and who are willing to pass referrals to you on a regular basis.

Profitable networking isn’t about generating leads or making a pitch-perfect impression that gets the sale on the spot. Networking isn’t about selling… it’s about developing long-lasting relationships. Perhaps more confidence in your networking abilities are required. Today’s competitive market and challenging economic climate mean you have to always be at the top of your game.

Confidence in yourself helps you deal honestly with your shortcomings and compels you to make corrections consistently. Confidence in yourself gives you a clear vision of your goal and creates desire that is strong enough to sweep away all obstacles. Confidence in yourself is the key to all achievement. It reinforces ability, doubles energy, expands mental facilities, and increases your personal power.

The real secret of successful networkers is the absolute confidence they have in themselves, their network, and their networking abilities. Those abilities come from doing what other successful networkers do and from being on a continuous journey of learning new techniques that work. Real confidence in yourself is always demonstrated by action.

Your network is your net-worth. Small-group and partner training programs are hot options. Better networking education in general may be the most important strategy for gaining a competitive edge. If you’re not staying current with the hottest networking ideas and getting better at what you do, your self-confidence will stagnate. Hopefully you will do everything you can to boost your self-confidence and elevate your game.

BONUS Article: Boosting Your Confidence – Grow Faith in Yourself and your Business

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Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Thursday, August 14, 2014

Cultivating a Networking Farm

Filed under: Networking — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: ,

I was in the real estate business for 23 years. When I first started I focused on making new relationships with all the people who lived within a radius of 1 mile from my own home. Eventually I knew who lived in every home in the area, when they bought, how many times it had sold, etc. It took a lot of research and many hours of visiting each individual neighbor. This was before computers and the internet – info was logged on index cards. I sent hundreds of personally addressed letters to everyone introducing myself, then followed up with a personal visit.

Those relationships built over time and paid off handsomely with many home listings in my own neighborhood which converted into great commission checks when the homes sold. I called this area my “Listing Farm.” The first year in real estate I was the top agent in my company with the most listings sold, the most sales and overall the top salesman in a group of 65+ agents. I published the first article (Cultivating a Listing Farm) ever on this subject in “Real Estate Today,” the National Association of Realtors® national magazine in 1975.

NETfarmI had my own door-to-door very small business when I was 10 years old. I started networking as a preteen long before it was ever called “networking.” They called it the “good ol’ boys club” and was defined loosely as anyone who willing to help anyone anytime. A good ol’ boy was one you know you can always count on and he lives his life by his word. The term Good Ol’ Boys Club is refering to the “brotherhood” that a Good Ol’ Boy belongs. Just as the Marines are the few and the proud, so are the members of the Good Ol’ Boys Club.

My first encounter with the good ol’ boys club was sitting in the barbers chair listening to a group of older men (usually farmers) exchanging farming ideas and tips – where to buy the cheapest grain or where to get the best deal when selling their livestock. We didn’t call it networking back then.

Networking is about also about farming. It’s about “cultivating” relationships – cultivating connections with others you can help and who can help you in your pursuit of a referral-based business, financial gain, business ideas, etc. For many years I have applied the concept of cultivating a listing farm to business networking. Just as I cultivated relationships with people in my neighborhood, I have done the same thing by attending numerous groups and getting to know a wide variety of people in many professions. If you want a great plumber, Realtor®, etc., I have one to refer to you and your friends.

“Use networking opportunities to meet people. Then, schedule additional times to connect, so you can build the trust that will allow you to ask for business.” ~ Ivan Misner

Networking takes a lot of attention to detail. It’s about making connections, getting to know them on a personal level, and keeping track of the kind of business they are in, precisely what they do and what kind of business referrals they are looking for. It’s NOT about selling. That may come later… or not. Some the the people I refer rarely ever send me a referral, mostly because they are not in a position to reciprocate. We travel in different groups.

• You have to cultivate the area – Attend networking meetings and events to be visible.

• Plant the seeds – Let people know what kind of business referrals you need with a creative “30 second connection.”

• Water the crop – Follow up with one-on-one meetings to get better acquainted and to determine what kind of business referrals would benefit each other.

• Work the soil – Stay busy consistently looking for business referrals for those in your network. Remember, networking is about giving. Set a goal to offer at least one or more business referral each week.

• Reap the rewards – Celebrate with your networking friends.

For networking to work it is absolutely necessary to keep networking at the top of your priority list and consistently on your mind. Carry a business card holder with the cards of other members of your group with you on every business call you make to remind you to look for new people to network with and for business referrals to pass on to other members.

BONUS Article: When It Comes to Networking, Farmers Will Always Beat Hunters

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Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
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Sunday, August 10, 2014

Up Your Networking Referrals

Filed under: Business Referrals — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , , ,

What is your commitment to giving business referrals to other members in your networking group?

OR… are you only in it for you?

UPyourReferralsSuccessful networking requires commitment. Hopefully you know by now that seldom does it work unless you are consistently meeting new people and making new friends. But that’s not all. It takes a commitment to do whatever you can to assist other members by providing others with business referrals.

I attend a lot of networking groups as a guest or special speaker and am often disappointed to hear that very few business referrals are given. Networking is more than just showing up at a meeting.

If you have a commitment to networking, it really only takes a few minutes each week to focus on a single member to give business referrals to. One of the top priorities of a networking group is to encourage member to participate fully by exchanging business referrals with other members.

Here is your assignment for the coming week: Single out at least one member that you have never given a referral to, call them and arrange a time to get together to discover how you can help each other. Once you find out what kind of business referrals they need, do everything you can to bring them at least one referral at the following meeting.

Commitment requires you to remember the reasons you are networking. Some people have admitted that they get so wrapped up in their daily activities that they don’t remember to look for referrals until they are on the way to the meeting. There are things you can do to help you remember.

Ever hear of PostIt® notes? How about a DayTimer®? If you can’t remember, I would question your commitment. When we are committed to something, we do everything we can to remember what is important to us. Write things down. Put notes everywhere. Put one on the rear view mirror of your car. When you are making your appointments, look for opportunities to help other members. I carry a business card holder with the cards of everyone I network with. Carrying it with me is a constant reminder to actively look for referrals for my friends.

If you want to Up Your Referrals… start giving more referrals. It’s just that simple!

BONUS Article: Demonstrate Your Commitment to Networking ~ Here’s How
Is It a Lead or a Referral?
How Much Time Do You Spend Looking for Referrals For Others?

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Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Once Upon a Time…

Filed under: Business Referrals — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

… there was a person who decided that since a friend had taken the time to invite him, he would just go and see what this networking group was all about.

He had an enjoyable lunch, and his friend even picked up the tab. He went back to his office and told his boss that this neat group. He said he would like to join. His boss said okay and even paid the monthly dues. HE was excited.

OnceUponATimeWhenever he could work it in his schedule he attended, which turned out to be only if he remembered it. Most of the time he arrived late.

At his first meeting he was disappointed because he didn’t get one business referral. But he decided to give it another chance. He came late and left early. He didn’t bother to give any referrals to other members, but always expected someone to give him one.

After about six weeks, he decided that this networking group sucked. So he quit and didn’t even tell anyone… just quit.

I don’t really know if there is a moral to the story, but I do know that he was right. That networking work didn’t work. That is, it didn’t work for him.

Networking never works if you don’t work it. Only the things in life that you have an honest commitment to work. Networking takes not only a commitment, it takes honest effort. It means making the networking group an active part of your everyday business routine, arriving early to exchange business referrals and to meet new members and guests.

It means writing the meeting in your schedule and going out of your way to be there, like it were an important meeting instead of just another place to have breakfast or lunch. It means planning ahead to that you can stay a little later if there are new members and guests and exchanging business cards with them and making them feel welcome and letting them know you are happy they are a part of your wonderful organization.

It means having pride in your networking group. Enough pride that you are willing to share this outstanding opportunity to cultivate more business friends and business referrals with people you do business with. It means taking a few minutes from your busy schedule, like it was really a part of your busy schedule and targeting a business referral for someone you haven’t given a referral to before or for a long time.

Every networking group is founded on the attitude that if YOU give you always get! The good that you give to others ALWAYS comes back to you! It’s like the law of gravity… it always works!

Take a moment right now and invite a friend to next weeks meeting and while you’re at it, ask yourself, “Who will I give a business referral to next week?”

netHQ

Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Saturday, August 2, 2014

How to Get Noticed and Recognized?

Filed under: Collaboration,Networking,Working Together — Larry James @ 8:30 am

In a sea of networking professionals how do you get noticed and recognized? High performance networkers know it’s easy!

It’s also very simple. Do more of what works. Sometimes the most creative thing you can do is to buckle down and play by the rules. And… you must know what the rules are. That’s the problem with people who say networking doesn’t work.

Relationships! That’s where you begin. People only do business with people they like and trust. No relationship – No referrals! Networking is not about how many sales you can make. It’s about starting at the beginning – the introduction to someone new and then working the relationship until you become close business friends. That’s when the business referrals will begin to come to you.

GetNoticedOne thing I know for sure. I know that collaboration between networkers in networking meetings and outside of the meetings is a principle driver of creativity, innovation and, therefore business advantage. Continue to build your network outside of the meeting. Failure to invest in collaborative techniques will greatly hamper your networking productivity.

I also know that to get recognized and noticed as a professional networker you must do things that help others before you can ever expect them to do things like passing along a referral to you. If you help people out when they need assistance, then people will help you out too. When you take the time to build and nurture relationships with the people around you, you’ll build a network of “allies” who will help you when you most need it. You call attention to yourself by paying attention to others.

Never underestimate the sharpness of people’s baloney radar. They can spot a soulless networker miles away. If you appear to only be interested in making a sale, or you aren’t doing what works, they will dismiss you and quite possibly never give you a second chance. That’s a big reason why so many networkers have failed miserably at networking.

When you talk to other networkers, make it clear that you want to help in whatever way you can and that their business sincerely matters to you. Every connection has to be heartfelt, or it won’t work.

Sometimes your most effective learning can come from discomfort and duress. I acknowledge your frustration. However, for you to triumph over your disappointments, it’s important that you stand back and take a close look at yourself and discover what’s lacking.

It’s okay to ask for help!

Join forces with others who are getting results with networking. Pick their brains. It’s not possible to do that if you only see them once a week at your networking meeting. You have to get to know them. Get together with them outside of the meeting. Get together with them socially. By banding together your successes will increase. Try out some new ideas. Hatch some new ideas of your own. Become active in helping others. You can only know how to help them by genuinely getting to know them.

HOT Tip: The networking group I started in Tulsa many years ago would have what we called “Quarterly Connections.” Once each quarter, we would all get together at the lake or at someone’s house for a social get together. That’s when we really got to know each other. Not just the members of the group, but their wives and husbands were all invited. Get togethers like this inspired everyone to get to work to refer business referrals and to do anything they could to assist their friends – and I mean, genuine friends – in any way they could.

HOT Tip: Another thing our group did was to encourage everyone attending the meeting to bring at least one quality referral for someone at each meeting. When everyone brought a business referral at that meeting, everyone present was invited to a “Performance Connection” at a local bar or tavern later that same day to celebrate everyones participation. Those who were absent missed out. Our club bought everyone the first drink. I am a firm believer these two special “connections” were part of the reasons the Tulsa Business Connection exchanged just north of $2,000,000 (that’s 2 MILLION dollars) in referrals among our 40 members in our very first year. The second year was even better!

Broaden your perspective. Continue to build your community of support. You will multiply your efforts by associating with other successful networkers. The best ideas evolve.

The game has changed. You no longer can casually show a half-hearted effort by only showing up at a weekly meeting and pitching your wares. If you are serious about building your business by networking you must get noticed and recognized by doing everything you can to make friends quickly and do whatever it takes to make sure others know that not only are you in networking to make it work for you but for others as well.

netHQ

Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

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