Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James

Sunday, November 30, 2014

How To Win People Over Without Manipulation

Marie Forleo on “MarieTV” interviews my good friend, Bob Burg, a well known speaker, writer and consultant, about his book, “Adversaries into Allies.” They talk about 5 ways to turn adversaries into powerful allies – no manipulation needed.

AdversariesIntoAllies

Click book for info

In this interview, Bob talks about how business people focus too much of themselves instead of other people, how to start controlling your emotions in business situations, how to engage with people who have different person beliefs and more.

Many people tend to think about competitors as enemies or adversaries. According to Bob Burg it’s more useful and practical to visualize competitors as your allies.

“From time to time there may be situations where a customer would be better served by buying from a competitor than from you,” Burg explains. “If your true goal is to help your customers, that competitor just becomes another way you can be of service.”

Networkers may want to listen to the part about persuasion vs. manipulation. I find, much too often, networkers who tend to manipulate others to buy their goods or services. Some have not yet learned that manipulation doesn’t work. They often close doors that, with a little tact, could have opened up incredible opportunities. It’s much better to learn how to influence and persuade.

While this approach [manipulation] might at times bring us short-term results, it leaves people with a bad feeling about themselves and about us. At that point, our relationship with the person is weakened and our influence dramatically decreased. I particularly like with Bob talks about how you view adversaries — are they really your adversary? There is a better way!

The video is a 31 minute program. If you don’t have time to listen now, bookmark this page and come back when you can really listen. I’ve known Bob Burg for many years. He and I share an great interest in teaching and training the higher principles of business networking. Bob is also the coauthor of The Go-Giver, Go-Givers Sell More, It’s Not About You and (one of my favorites) Endless Referrals. As a networker, all of these books belong in you business library.

bobburg

Copyright © 2014 – Bob Burg & Marie Forleo. Bob Burg is author of “Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales” and “The Go-Giver.” Four of Bob’s books have combined to sell over 1,500,000 copies. Visit Bob’s BLOG.

Watch Marie Forleo on “MarieTV!”

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netHQLarry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Reciprocity – The Implied Promise of Networking

Filed under: Network Training — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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Jill Lublin and Rick Frishman, Guest Authors

In life, we all try to get things from each other; that’s how the world works and has always worked. From ancient times, we have been a people who belonged to tribes and clannish groups. We build societies in which we lived, worked, and raised families together. In these societies, each member had specific roles that he or she performed for the benefit of the group. We gave to and helped each other. And, we also received.

NETReciprocityNetworks operate on similar principles. When it comes to networking, an implied promise exists that “If you help me, I’ll help you.” This implied promise is the bond upon which networks and societies are built. Without the assurance of reciprocal help, many network members would not give. In networking, reciprocating, returning favors, and giving back is not merely expected, it demanded; it’s the price you pay to be a network member.

Network members are realist. They understand that most requests have more than one motive. They know that the reason given may not be all there is. They also know all too well that many good-intentioned individuals don’t or can’t follow through and deliver what they promised. Realists accept the fact that folks get busy, face other demands, and simply forget. What they won’t abide, however, is repeated, out-and-out exploration by those whom they have helped because networking involves giving and taking, not exploiting.

Remember the following four rules of successful, reciprocal networking:

1. You can’t always be the connectee; you must also be the connector.
2. You can’t always be the taker; you must also give.
3. To build a successful network you must be prepared to give at least two or three items for every one you receive.
4. Better yet, don’t count, just give.

Give generously; don’t skimp. If you expect to receive more than you give, you’ll be bitterly disappointed. Sure, if you may get away with being a skinflint once, twice, or even several times, but sooner of later people will catch on, feel abused, and avoid you. And if you get anything, it will be drastically less than you gave and probably more than you deserve.

NetworkingMagic

Click book for info!

If you want to build relationships with the best, go the extra mile. Extend yourself, be lavish, and make grand gestures to impress upon your contact how far you’re willing to go to cement the relationship. To attract the best, give the best and give your best.

Train yourself to spot leads or opportunities for your network partners. To identify leads for partners requires you to understand their needs and how these needs can be best filled, Think of networks as friendships. Your connection to network members is a bond built on the same basic principles as friendship. They are:

• Helping
• Sharing
• Trusting

Both networks and friendships are intended to be long-lasting and enduring, not just fleeting or hit-and-run contacts. A network, like a friendship, will work only if you are asking, “What can I do for you?” If will not work if you’re only asking, “What can I get from you?”

Savvy players understand that networking fields are seldom level. The rich, powerful, and famous are usually better connected and endowed. They have more clout than others, especially newcomers who are just starting out. So, most beginner networkers must try harder, be more accommodating, more assertive, give more, and seize every initiative, especially when they’re trying to connect with people at the top.

Direct your efforts and give you contacts something they really want or need, anything less may be ignored or sloughed off. Jump the gun; instead of waiting for that powerhouse you’ve been courting to ask for a favor, find great resources that he or she could use and hook him or her up. To be a good network partner, you must help, help, help. And when you’re tired, help some more!

BONUS Article: Networking Events are a Waste of Time…

Copyright © 2014 – Jill Lublin and Rick Frishman. From the book, “Networking Magic.” Visit their Website at http://Networking-Magic.com/.

RICK FRISHMAN, publisher at Morgan James Publishing and Founder of Planned Television Arts (now Media Connect), has been one of the leading book publicist in America for over 36 years. Appearing on hundreds of radio shows and dozens of TV shows nationwide, including Oprah and Fox News.

JILL LUBLIN is an international speaker on the topics of Radical Influence, Publicity, Networking and referrals. She is the author of 3 Best Selling books including Get Noticed…Get Referral” (McGraw Hill) and co-author of Guerrilla Publicity (Adams Media) and Networking Magic (Morgan James).

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netHQLarry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

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Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Saturday, November 22, 2014

The “30-Second” Connection Revisited

Milo O. Frank, author of the book, “How to Get Your Point Across in 30 Seconds of Less,” says:

“There are two clear and compelling reasons why 30 seconds is the ideal length of time in which to get your point across.

Front view of a modern elevator with closed doors in lobbyTime Constraint ~ The first is time constraint – not only on yourself, but also of those you’re trying to convince.

Attention Span ~ The second and more important reason why 30 seconds is the ideal length of time to get your point across is that even when a person has time to listen to you, their mind can accept only so much information in one steady flow. How long can you or anyone pay attention to what someone is saying without letting your mind wander off to sex, money, or the other good things in life?”

Radio and TV news also make use of the 30-second attention span. They call it a “sound bite.” They need you to make your point in 30 seconds of less. One TV producer said, “I’ve discovered that if you can’t say it in 30 seconds, you probably can’t say it at all. The 30-second message is always applicable, anytime and anywhere. It’s a basic tool. When you master it, it’ll become second nature to you.”

I no longer use the term, elevator “pitch.” Why? Because to pitch is to sell. Selling is a BIG “no-no” at a networking meeting or event. Your purpose is to cultivate long-lasting and mutually profitable relationships, not sell. It’s better to give your “elevator speech” or as I call it, your “30-second connection” without making it sound like an elevator pitch/speech. Practice saying it different ways so it doesn’t sound canned.

The purpose of a “30-second connection” at the beginning of a networking meeting or when someone asks what you do, is to help them learn more about your business and the type of business referrals that would be helpful to you. It must connect with your audience, describe your abilities, convey interest in your company, sell your brand to everyone listening and describe the kind of referrals that are best for you – all in 30 seconds or less.

“Be clear, to the point and make it memorable. While it can be good to be creative when writing your elevator speech, your 30-second connection is not the place to be so clever that people don’t have a clue what you’re talking about! It should be clear and to the point, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be boring! You can use humor, create a mental picture, and be energetic. Just don’t use hype, or exaggerate who you are and what you do.” ~ Rebecca Livermore

Before you create your 30-second connection, you must have clarity about your purpose in saying it, especially if you are in a business that is complicated and difficult to explain. The first thing to consider should be to find a way to explain your business in a way that people will easily understand in 30 seconds. What are the benefits – not the features – of your products or services? By communicating these aspects of your business to referral sources, they are learning more about how they can refer business to you.

30SecondsOrLess

Click book for info!

Never try to disguise or hide behind what you do! Be proud of what you do. If you are in a business that had a tarnished reputation, create a way to describe it that will have people wanting to know more. For example, you sell used cars. Some might describe used car sales people as pushy, aggressive, dishonest or worse. If you do not fall into those categories, you have some work to do. Pre-owned is a word I would use. If you have a warranty or guarantee, talk about it. Light humor may work. Highlight benefits. It must ommunicate who “you” are. Always speak the truth and present your 30-second connection in a way that has others wanting to hear more about you and your business.

elevatorPITCHI believe that it’s a good idea to have several versions of your 30-second connection – at least two – for different occasions or at different times. Every 30-second connection isn’t for every person. That means you must set aside some time to privately go much deeper when it comes to understanding your ideal audience, their pain points, and how you’re going to meet those needs. It takes some work, but once you get comfortable with it, your 30-second connection means you’ll never again be tongue-tied when opportunity knocks.

“Whether you’re introducing yourself to an individual or to a group, you have the choice of how you deliver your message. People will judge not only the message, but the messenger as well. How you look, carry yourself, listen, and leave the conversation will affect what others do with the message you’ve delivered. The important thing to remember is to speak as if you’re addressing a single person, a good friend.” ~ Ivan Misner

The more you present your 30-second connection the easier it becomes. Write it down, and practice in front of a mirror or to your friends. If your friends don’t understand what you are saying, change it until they do.

Always stand when presenting your 30-second connection. AND if you really want people to pay attention to what you say, remember to speak up. Talk a little louder when speaking to a group of networkers. I’ve been to to many networking groups where they go around the room, everyone sitting, and speaking so low when they give their 30-second connection that they cannot be heard. That doesn’t do you or anyone else any good. STAND UP and SPEAK UP!

It’s important to get your point across in 30 seconds of less. In order for others to refer you, they must know exactly what you do – what product or service you provide or make, how and under what conditions you provide it, how well you do it, and in what ways you are better at what you do than your competitors. It may be time to re-do or re-shape your 30-second connection.

BONUS Articles: Do You Have an Effective “30 Second Connection?”
How to Be a Red Ferrari in a Sea of Silver Cars
Quiet Please!

netHQ

Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Your Work… Is It the Right Work for You?

Filed under: Attitude,Belief,Comfort Zone,Networking — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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Recently, after presenting my “10 Commitments of Networking” talk to a networking group, I was talking to a networker who told me that she subscribes to this blog and reads every article, but no matter what she does, nothing seems to work. I asked her if she loved what she did. The answer was an emphatic, “No!”

No wonder networking was not working for her!

I hate my jobSo… the question is, if you don’t love what you do, how can you be successful at it and how do you expect to make networking work for you? People can tell. They can look at you and know that you don’t believe in what you do. It’s nearly impossible to be successful if your thinking about your work is off track.

It’s tough to go to work every day when you hate it, but don’t tell the world – especially on social media, because the wrong person is probably going to see what you posted. Keep it to yourself as you look for something better. You don’t want to lose your job before you start looking for a new one. Do your best to make the job work while you are there.

Get ready to leave. Don’t obviously pack your bags and head for the door, but lay the groundwork for your departure. When you do find better work, leave gracefully, giving at least a two weeks notice and never mention to them that you hated your job. Companies check references. They ask about previous employers in interviews and what you say really does matter.

The truth is, you are only limited by what you think about most of the time. What you think about and speak about, you bring about. If you do not love what you do, most likely that is what your mind is focused on. You’re stuck! It’s like your foot is nailed to the floor. You dug the hole with your stinkin’ thinking! Now it’s time to get the heck out of the hole. That means getting out of your discomfort zone.

If you think you cannot find a better line of work… you’re right! You can look and pray for a new opportunity, however you must be intent upon actively “looking” for something new. It rarely just drops into your lap. Be honest. Figure out if it’s you or the job that’s making your life miserable.

Some will say that you could network for a new job. I agree. However, a definite change in your attitude about yourself and your job must come first. You will be surprised how much of a difference that will make. Never talk about how you hate your job, and don’t lead with the fact that you are looking. Ask questions about them, if you like what you hear you may say something like, “If you hear of anything like that opening up, I’d love to to know about it!” and go from there.

I do not feel sorry for people who stay stuck because they are the cause of the problem and only they get do something about it.

Read the following quote by Steve Jobs several times. (That means: More than once!). 😉 Print it and put it on your mirror as a reminder to find work that you love and that provides a worthwhile service to others – work that you can love and be proud of. Then watch what happens!

YourWork:SteveJobs

“People often stay in jobs they don’t like because they don’t realize what else they can do,” says Maggie Mistal, a career consultant, radio host and speaker. “They haven’t taken the time to identify what makes them happy or where their talents lie. They haven’t clarified their values and thought about how they’d like to use their abilities to make a difference and align their work with their purpose. Too often people assume work is supposed to be a chore so they don’t even look for anything other than that when embarking on a career.”

Still stuck? You’ve got some work to do! Get busy!

BONUS Article: Pay Attention to What You’re Thinking About

netHQ

Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
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Visit Larry James on LinkedIn

Friday, November 14, 2014

Pay Attention to What You’re Thinking About

Filed under: Guest Author Articles,Networking — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: ,

Tom Hopkins, Guest Author

Rarely do people choose the details of their futures. They choose their daily habits and those daily habits dictate their futures. Re-read those first two sentences several times. Then, think about your daily habits. How are they dictating your life?

NETPayAttention• Are you often rushing in the morning because you oversleep?
• Is it a part of your routine to search for your mobile phone or keys every time you leave the house?
• Do you travel through rush hour traffic every day with a sour attitude?
• During time you plan to work, are you daydreaming about what you’d rather be doing?
• Do you grab just anything for lunch?
• Do you catch yourself watching the clock the last 5 to 20 minutes of your work day?
• How do you spend your evenings?
• How well do you sleep?

Those basic aspects are part of everyone’s day. It’s easy to fall into habits that may not be good for us. Why is that? Because we don’t give much conscious thought to them. This is so typical of nearly everyone on the planet. We get up. We follow the same routine for getting out the door in the morning. We drive the same roads to get there. We work. We watch the time. We drive the same roads home in the evening and spend our evenings pretty much the same way.

Think about just one aspect of your typical day that you would change if you could. Would you like a smoother start to your day? Could you have it if you woke up just 10 to 15 minutes earlier? Could something as simple as having a key hook or basket to hold your keys and your phone put an end to a daily search for those items once you developed the habit of using it?

This may sound super-simplified, but the first two sentences of this article are very true. So, if you want your future to be different from the present, don’t sweat over large goals and planning—at least not today. Today, pay attention to your habits. Pick one that could be holding you back or slowing down any progress you’d like to make toward improving your life. Determine what you could do differently.

Stick with something simple and give it a try for a few days. If it seems to be helping, make a conscious effort for about three weeks to make it a daily habit. Once it’s a positive habit, and you’re reaping the rewards of a more relaxed start to your day or whatever habit you choose, you can forget about it and move on to something else.

As with much of life and business, it truly is the little things that make the difference. Here are some other ideas to counter the typical daily stressors of adult working life:

If you must travel during rush hour, stop stressing over it. Accept that it will be what it is. Then, find something you can do with your mind during that time. Fellow sales trainer and motivator, Zig Ziglar, suggests you turn your car into a classroom by listening to educational programs while driving. This is an excellent suggestion. You can work on learning a second language that will expand the base of clients you can serve. You can work on your selling skills, weigh other time management ideas, or at the very least, listen to uplifting music or inspirational programs to help keep you on an even emotional keel.

TomHopkins

Click book cover for info!

If you catch yourself daydreaming or getting sidetracked surfing the net or scanning magazines while you should be working, stop! The most productive thing you can do during work time is to work. If these other things are of interest to you, jot them down in a small notebook or enter them into your cell phone with an alarm to remind you to look into them later. Chances are some of them won’t seem all that important by the time you get around to doing it, but for those that are, you haven’t lost the information and you haven’t interrupted your train of thought at work.

When it comes to lunch time, the best thing you can do for your body and your mind is to move around and to eat light. This will give you the right kind of energy for a productive afternoon.

Think about giving up your watch for a week. Even if you’re still a clock-watcher, you’ll have to seek out the clock somewhere besides your wrist. Even a small change like that alters the habits you have embedded in your mind. And changing habits is one of the healthiest ways to stimulate your brain.

Regarding your evenings, do you spend them thinking about or rehashing your workday? Stop! To be truly successful, you need balanced habits. There’s a saying, “All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy.” Liven up your life even if it means taking a walk instead of sitting in front of the TV. Go out to a store close by that you don’t usually go to and just see what they have. Visit your local bookstore or attend their free functions. You’re likely to have a triple win when you change your habits. You’ll meet new people. You’ll feel better about yourself. And, your future will be brighter.

Larry’s NOTE: Many business cards of networkers end up in the trash because of “stinkin’ thinking,” better known as a bad attitude. If that’s you, perhaps you need an attitude adjustment. I recommend that you read Tom’s book, “The Official Guide to Success!” Next, read some of the articles that also will help by clicking here!

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Copyright © 2014 – Tom Hopkins. Reprinted with permission. Tom Hopkins wasn’t born to wealth and privilege. He was a mediocre student and began his work life in construction carrying steel. At the age of 19, he was married with a child on the way and trying to find a better way to support his young family. Tom Hopkins understands both sides of the selling equation. He understands the fears of both buyers and salespeople. Visit Tom’s Website!

NOTE: Professional speaker and trainer, Tom Hopkins once introduced Larry James from the audience at an Oklahoma City sales rally as “the expert you must meet before you leave this auditorium today if you want to know about networking!”

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netHQLarry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

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Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s Relationship Tweets at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/
Visit Larry James on LinkedIn

Monday, November 10, 2014

Let Networking Help You Get Smart!

NetSMART

We’re all aware of the importance of networking for business referrals, but how much of your time and energy do you focus on networking for knowledge?

Specifically, are you developing networks to tell you what your clients and your prospects are thinking, what their challenges are and what you need to say when you’re sitting in front of them?

In Andy Lopata’s talk on networking strategy in Iran earlier this year he talked about the importance of connecting to learn as well as working on building long-term business relationships.

Networking is. . . using your creative talents to help others achieve their goals as you cultivate a network of people strategically positioned to support you in your goals. . . expecting nothing in return! ~ Larry James

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andy

Video Copyright © 2014 – Andy Lopata. Reprinted with permission. Labeled “Mr Network” by The Sun, Andy Lopata was called “one of Europe’s leading business networking strategists” by the Financial Times. The co-author of two books on networking, Andy is a featured columnist the US magazine “The National Networker,” as well as being regularly quoted in the national press. Previously, Andy was Managing Director of UK network Business Referral Exchange. Andy has since worked with companies from one-man bands to organisations such as NatWest Bank, Merrill Lynch and Mastercard to help them realise the full potential from their networking. He is a former vice-president of the Professional Speakers Association. Visit Andy’s Website and BLOG.

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netHQLarry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking Pintrest Board” at: http://www.Pinterest.com/larryjames2012/networking-blog/

Thursday, November 6, 2014

How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You. . .

My dear mother used to say this to me as I was learning something new. Sometimes you have to hear something more than once to begin to realize that it really works.

How many times to I have to tell you that business networking is NOT about selling! It’s about building meaningful relationships. It’s about helping others.

NETnoSELLINGIt is NOT about collecting business cards or making sales presentations. You cannot build trust in relationships and friendship with others if your only goal is to talk about yourself and pass out business cards.

People do not like to be talked at or sold to. While some may be polite and listen to your detailed advertising tirades, the likelihood of a follow-up is practically nonexistent.

Networking is NOT about chowing down at the snack table. If you are hungry, eat before you come to the meeting. Remember, you are there to network, not to stuff your face and miss out on opportunity.

Networking is about building a network of support. These are people who like you and trust you and are willing to step forward and help you in anyway they can. Once you establish a quality relationship with them they will most likely refer you. They are the ones who are “count-on-able.” You can count on them when you need assistance.

Also read: “Networking Defined.”

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Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Sunday, November 2, 2014

Why Keeping Your Commitments Is Critical to Your Influence

Michael Hyatt, Guest Author

When we think of someone with integrity, we think of someone we can count on to come through on what they promise. Unfortunately, that’s not always a safe bet today.

Over the last several years I’ve noticed a change in the way we use the word integrity. The word used to mean staying true to your word—even if it’s difficult, inconvenient, or expensive. But today I hear more and more people using the word as if it means being true to themselves—even if that means leaving someone else to clean up the mess.

NETinfluenceThis might look like a win if we’re trying to save ourselves from difficulty and discomfort, but it will come back to bite us in the end. Nothing destroys our credibility faster than bailing on a commitment.

The phrase “To thine own self be true” comes from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, but it became popular through self-help books and programs. There’s nothing wrong with these words by themselves, but they’re usually taken out of context.

If you’ve ever read or seen the play you know the full story. The phrase comes after advice about being prudent and preserving friendships. The idea is that we are true to ourselves so that others can count on what we say. That was having integrity.

But if you listen to the way people use it today, they usually mean something else. “To thine own self be true” is often used as an excuse to do whatever a person wants instead of what’s expected—or even what they’ve already committed to. This is suicide in business—and the rest of life.

Not only is integrity essential for strong friendships, it’s crucial for all of our relationships. “Honesty,” says Stephen Covey, “is making your words conform to reality. Integrity is making reality conform to your words.” We won’t get far in life without it.

Just think about your work. Without the kind of integrity Covey describes, you cannot be an effective leader. Why?

1. Trust depends on integrity. If people can’t rely on your word, they won’t trust you. They may extend some grace, but eventually people will doubt and disbelieve.

2. Influence depends on trust. People will refuse the influence of leaders they distrust. Just look at how this plays out in politics or the media. We follow people we trust.

michaelHyatt3. Impact depends on influence. You can’t make the impact you want unless you can influence others and shift their behavior.
Now think of other relationships: marriage, parenting, church, whatever. The strength of our relationships is measured by how much people can count on us. If we’re not true to our words, that means our relationships will be as unreliable as we are.

“The strength of our relationships is measured by how much people can count on us.” ~ Michael Hyatt

Yes, keeping our word can sometimes be very costly. I’ve had times in my career when it’s been very expensive to do the right thing. Once I had to pull the plug on a multimillion dollar project we desperately needed to make our numbers.

Another time I had to uphold an exorbitant commitment of an executive I let go, even though he didn’t have the authority to make the agreement in the first place. The P&L was already hemorrhaging, but the cost of not following through would have been more expensive to the company in the long run.

There’s nothing wrong with asking to be released from a commitment. But if we can’t get free, then we need to make good on it. If we try living true to ourselves at the expense of others, it’ll cost us our relationships, our success, ultimately everything of real and lasting value.

BONUS Article: Demonstrate Your Commitment to Networking ~ Here’s How

MichaelHyattCopyright © 2014 – Michael Hyatt. Michael Hyatt, one of the top business bloggers in the world, provides down-to-earth guidance for building and expanding a powerful platform. Michael is the former Chairman and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers, the seventh largest trade book publishing company in the U.S. I have worked in the book publishing industry for most of my career. He is the author of Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World (Thomas Nelson). It is a New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestseller. Recently, Forbes magazine named me one of the “Top 10 Online Marketing Experts To Follow In 2014.” Visit Michael’s Blog @ http://MichaelHyatt.com/

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netHQLarry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

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Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s Relationship Tweets at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
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Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/
Visit Larry James on LinkedIn

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