Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James

Monday, May 21, 2018

No “Timid-Speak” Allowed At Networking Events!

Filed under: Networking,Shyness,Timid-Speak — Larry James @ 8:30 am

At a networking event and need a referral? Sorry ladies but this seems to be true: Women sometimes hedge requests about what they want because they’ve been conditioned to first be accommodating to others.

Accommodating others is a large part of networking, however, being too deferential can come across as meek, shy and timid causing other networkers to doubt your confidence or qualifications. Appearing as shy, they’ll wonder if you believe in yourself and, in turn, if they should trust you with their referrals.

Instead of mingling, some people, not just women, hide on the perimeter with a cocktail in hand to kill time and avoid talking to strangers. A wallflower attitude will never get you anywhere. Never favor the sidelines over the spotlight. Look around you when at a networking event. You will see the most successful networkers actively engaged in conversations with others. They are usually the leaders of the group and often the most successful members.

Shyness in not inherited, it’s developed via your past negative experiences. To be a successful networker you must liberate yourself from its socially degrading grip. Shyness has ruined many opportunities. It’s time to flip the switch to be bold. Those who have never suffered from shyness and timidity have no idea how debilitating it can be, especially for someone in a professional situation. Shyness can be overcome. With time and effort and a high desire to change, it’s possible to break through.

Timid-Speak can cause networking not to work for you. It can wreak havoc on your networking efforts. Timid-Speak has always been about struggling to connect with people you don’t know. It causes you to become apprehensive. Networking is about connecting! Don’t be intimidated by it or others. Everyone shies away and has moments, or extended moments, of self-doubt. But the fear is also a test, it means you are onto something big and you should pay attention to it and not shy away.

Is your potential career as a networker doomed? Not at all. Shyness is a habit that can be broken with the understanding that you can develop some new social skills. For the less outgoing, “attending a networking event can be like diving into a mosh pit,” says Nancy Ancowitz, business communication coach and author of Self-Promotion for Introverts. “It’s downright scary.” Networking isn’t easy, but it is crucial for your success.

Seize every opportunity to practice being more assertive. Speak up! Does that make you cringe? Sorry. Get over it. State clearing what you want. You must work to get over being shy and embrace talking to people. Demonstrate your confidence in yourself and what you do. You will be reprogramming your brain in a way that will make it easier and easier to overcome that still, small voice that says, “Shh! Be quiet.”

Keep your requests simple and straight-forward: “I’m looking for referrals to people who may be getting married and need a qualified Wedding Officiant.”

BONUS Article: Networking Relationships Begin With “Hello!”
Don’t be a Networking Wallflower
Networking for Introverts – Video
Working a Room If You’re SHY – No Pills Required


netHQCopyright © 2018 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

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NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


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