Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James

Monday, November 25, 2013

FREE Networking Coaching for 1 1/2 Hours!

SORRY! This offer has expired!

For some time now I have been concerned about some of the people I meet at Networking events. They seem to drift from one person to the next collecting as many business cards as they can. I wonder what happens to those cards, so I started asking people. Most said that they would be contacting them in the next few days to offer their services to them or send them details about their product. Hmmm. Follow-up is great, however networking is not about selling… it’s about building long-term business relationships.

I often wonder why these people don’t know any better. I’ve decided to do something that I have never done before.

I’m giving awayOMG, this is going to sound so egotisticalME for 1 1/2 hours… FREE! 😉

I’ve been networking before they called it networking! I started my own business when I was 10 years old. I have taught several hundred networking seminars and delivered hundreds of keynote addresses across the U.S.A. I’ve been a professional speaker/trainer since 1987. If you need help networking, I can help!

NETtraining1Between now and the end of December, 6 people will have the opportunity for a 1 and 1/2 lunch with me (a small price to pay) along with a chance to pick my brain about networking. That’s not all. I will also give you a signed copy of my Networking book, “Ten Commitments of Networking.” You can ask me any questions you may have about networking.

There is only one catch. You get to buy my lunch at a nice restaurant in Scottsdale, AZ! I will select one person each week for 6 weeks. If I select your name you will receive a call from me and we will discuss the day and time and where we will meet. You will have 2 weeks to make the lunch happen or I will pick the next person on the list.

Why am I doing this? I believe it is so important to keep on learning. I also love to eat and… I love to talk about networking. Smart people who network know the value and benefit of continuing to learn as much as they can about something that will help them be more prosperous in their lives and business.

If you are someone you know needs to know more about networking, winning is as easy as 1, 2, 3! Here’s what you need to do:

1. To be elegible: Send e-mail to Larry James. Please put “Networking Lunch” in the subject line.
2. Give me your name, what kind of business you are in, the name of your business, your address, Cell and office phone number and e-mail address.
3. Tell me why you would like to be one of the 6 in 50 words or less.

There is no obligation to buy anything. And I promise not to add you to any mailing list without your permission, however, I will expect us to be friends on Facebook.

That’s it.

Hurry! This opportunity expires at midnight on December 31, 2013.

netHQ

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

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Monday, December 10, 2012

To Be an Effective Networker You Must Be Coachable! ~ Part Two

Filed under: Coaching,Networking — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , , ,

If you haven’t read “Part One,” it’s recommended that you read it first. Click here for Part One.

You must be flexible enough to listen for contribution. Contribution is everywhere. Being hooked into “one way” doesn’t work.

coachMissingPieceTo request coaching is often scary. Many people cannot bring themselves to be that courageous. It takes courage to request coaching. When you request coaching, you put yourself at risk; you make yourself vulnerable. Not fun. And it is worth it.

People who are coachable are the kind of people you like to be around. They are champions in the game of life. They love new ideas and get excited about them. They win more consistently than others because they are always open to listen to and put to use the new ideas that present themselves when they are available for coaching. They are always looking for a better way. They look for opportunity in everything. They are the kind of people who want to learn all they can about being the best they can be.

When we are open to coaching, we are open to hear what others say as an opportunity to look at things differently. We miss out on opportunities because we are closed to the possibilities that are present in the conversations we have with other people. We are so busy thinking about what we are going to say when they finish talking that we don’t really hear what they say. Sometimes people say things that trigger bad, past experiences. This often can totally shut down your listening mechanism.

There you sit, shut down to the possibility the conversation presents, perhaps even thinking that you’ve tried that idea before and it didn’t work. What if, with a few minor changes, it worked? If you will not listen and really hear what others say, you really have a problem. I’m not saying that you have to do everything that people suggest, all I’m saying is, don’t be so quick to turn them off if what they say doesn’t agree with your own belief system. Be open to a new possibility.

Coaching either works or it doesn’t. That is up to you. It depends on how you listen to it. Coaching often shows up when you least expect it and it always shows up when you need it. However, you will more than likely not hear it as coaching unless you are truly coachable.

NetCoaching2There are basically two kinds of coaching. The formal process of one-on-one coaching is most common. An example would be a football coach with his quarterback or a manager with his salesperson. Another version of one-on-one coaching would be when you actively seek someone whom you respect, a mentor or coach, who, by mutual agreement agrees to become your coach. The second kind of coaching is listening for and accepting coaching from anyone and everyone all the time! More about this later.

In one-on-one coaching, for coaching truly to be effective, two things are required. Number one: Coaching must be requested! If you need help, ask for it. If not, prove it. The fact is, everyone needs help. The very fact that the quarterback is on the team and goes to the sideline for coaching, is a request for coaching. The fact that you may choose to work with a specific manager, is a request for coaching.

Number two: In one-on-one coaching, you must surrender to the coach. This means you must choose your coaches very carefully. A commitment to trust your coach’s judgment comes with being coachable. If you don’t trust your coach or manager’s judgment, you will probably not be very coachable and the relationship won’t work. I know when I say surrender to the coach this is a strong statement. So, let’s put it this way, we are talking about trust here.

When you are coachable, let people know. Tell them that you are requesting coaching. Ask them to tell it like it is. Give them permission to assist you. Help create an atmosphere that says it’s okay for them to tell you how they feel. Let them know it’s really okay to be rigorous with their coaching. Say to them, “I can take it. For me to be able to be the best I can be, I want and need your ideas, opinions, suggestions, and advice. Please say what’s on your mind.”

We are all human beings. Even when you are committed to being coachable, it is normal to occasionally become agitated, irritated, or even angry. If this happens to you, let your coach know that he may need to give you the space to be angry with yourself for a few minutes. This will help your coach understand that you really mean business when you say, “tell it like it is.”

Next, take that time to remember that you did request that they be rigorous with their coaching. Work on not taking it personally. If the truth hurts, be grateful. If coaching is confronting for you, and many times it will be, be grateful that someone was courageous enough to tell you the truth from his or her perspective. A great question to ask your coach is, “In your opinion, how can I do better?” Then, LISTEN for the answer. NEXT, put the idea to work!

Call Larry James, Networking CoachA wise coach will always give an honest assessment of the situation when requested. Coaches contribute. They do not withhold. They know that to withhold causes problems in coaching relationships. Sometimes it is difficult for a coach to say what needs to be said. There must be a clear understanding regarding “withholding.” Coaches are generally tactful when they offer assistance, but never critical, although sometimes it may appear as such. Never take coaching personally. A good coach coaches by assisting people in perceiving things from many points of view.

Being coachable is not listening for the answer; it is listening for many answers, and then making an informed decision about what has to be done. It’s listening for what is more appropriate for you in your situation.

The second kind of coaching is listening for and accepting coaching from anyone and everyone all the time. This is the tough one I spoke of earlier in this chapter.

For the purpose of this discussion, let’s assume that you could learn to accept coaching from everyone without an oral request for coaching. You don’t actively choose them, they choose you. They just show up. The secret is this. Always be a request for coaching. Rid yourself of the notion that only certain people would be good coaches for you; that only gifted people can make a contribution worthy of your listening. Be like the coachable quarterback, never evaluate the coach. Only evaluate what the coach says.

There is more benefit to be gained if you read these words with a specific intention to grasp the concept of what it could mean to you, if you could live your life as a request for coaching from everyone with whom you have a conversation. It’s a hot idea. What if it worked? Think about it. What if being open for coaching from the universe worked? It’s not easy. And you can do it.

This article is from the book, “Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections,” available in book stores and on Amazon.com.

We get LoveNotes: “I thought I was only going to read about how to best network my business at my local Chamber of Commerce functions. Instead, I was treated to a mature man’s wit and wisdom for living a successful, happy life. In the Acknowledgments! I was surprised to find Werner Erhard, one of my personal champions, mentioned. I knew then I was in for some surprises and I wasn’t disappointed. Larry James has distilled his own experience of a lifetime, hundreds of books and thousands of sayings into clear and helpful advice that, if followed, can lead one out of inertia and into the successful arena of winners-neatly summarized as his chapter titles: Blueprint Your Life! Accept Responsibility! Be Coachable! show Up! Be Yourself! Pay Attention! Contribute! As for What You Want! Say “Thank You!” Stay Connected! Landmark Education, another of Erhard’s brainstorms, is also beautifully and creatively encapsulated in James’ book. The principles taught here can take a lifetime of study and investigation. Buy this book and get it all quickly, follow it to the letter, and you will be excited about every day of your life, creating it consciously, from now on.” ~ Patricia A. Hamilton

netHQ

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Networking Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Thursday, December 6, 2012

To Be an Effective Networker You Must Be Coachable! ~ Part One

Filed under: Coaching,Networking — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , , , ,

All winners have coaches! Especially networkers. They win more consistently than others because they are always open to listen to and put to use the new ideas that present themselves when they are available for coaching. They are always looking for a better way.

coachingBeing coachable is a tough commitment. Being coachable is being teachable. Not everyone is willing to be coached or taught. Superstar networkers always have coaches.

To be coachable ya gotta wanna be better at what you do. If you are not sincerely interested in being the best that you can be, you may just as well skip this article. No kidding. If you are falling short of your potential, maybe you should stop skipping around in your life and focus in on something that can truly make a major difference in your life. It’s a fact, if you are coachable, your life will work much better.

“Coachability is the willingness to be corrected and to act on that correction. When we are coachable, we are prepared to be wrong. We can withstand a high degree of candor. We are willing to let others evaluate — and perhaps even plumb the depths of our performance because we understand that the journey of personal development cannot be traveled alone.” ~ Timothy R. Clark, from the article, “On Leadership: Are you coachable?

Coaching2To be coachable you must be at a point where you have a level of self-esteem that is higher than average. You must love yourself and you must be in touch with who you are. Being coachable is difficult enough without having the extra burden of low self-image. If you are someone who makes excuses and blames others, you are probably not ready to be coachable. To be coachable is to take total responsibility for your life. You will learn to be more responsible – voluntarily.

Being coachable will keep you motivated. It will keep you involved in life. You will be consistently inspired by what other people say. You will expect good instead of bad things to happen. When you are coachable you will find good where before, you may have only expected bad. You will find yourself winning more than losing and operating more consistently at peak performance when you are coachable. Being coachable will increase your commitment and your productivity.

You will learn ways to bounce back more easily after a setback. Being coachable is being supportable. If you come across as if you already know everything, you will find others avoiding you. When you are courageous enough to ask for assistance, you will find that others will be more willing to support you in what you are up to in life. They will offer information; they will go out of their way to help you. This is a problem area for some people. The commitment of being coachable will support you in sculpturing a new and exciting you; the kind of new you that allows others to contribute to your life.

Coaching3Being coachable is learning to listen differently. It is learning to make every conversation you have with others, count! It is allowing their words to be a major contribution to your life. Being truly coachable will get you fired up!

A lot of people can’t handle this one. They have things made up a specific way and that’s it. They tend to place restrictions on who can become one of their teachers. They “already know” therefore no one can tell them anything. How sad. It is a mistake not to look outside the rigid boundaries of accepted thought and tradition for answers.

When we are open to coaching, we are open to hear what others say as an opportunity to look at things differently. We miss out on opportunities because we are closed to the possibilities that are present in the conversations we have with other people. Being coachable will force you out of your comfort zone.

You must listen for opportunity to be able to recognize it when it shows up. I suggest that you listen to every conversation you have when networking as if it were a conversation for possibility. I have found that when you listen as if you are hearing coaching from everyone you talk with, there is almost always something there that you can adapt for your business. AND not just from a coach you may choose to hire, but from “everyone!” A better way. A better idea, etc. Develop an attitude of “What if…” What if the idea that Sally just shared would work in my business with a little tweaking?

Do you think you know what being coachable really means? In “Part Two” of this article we will look at the two kinds of coaching. You may be in for a surprise. Click here for Part Two.

netHQ

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. Adapted from Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to “Networking HQ BLOG with Larry James” and receive a fresh networking article or tip every 4th day by e-mail. Click on the “Email Subscription” link on the right under the “search” box. You can unsubscribe anytime!

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

Monday, March 5, 2012

When You are Coachable, Criticism Disappears!

Filed under: Coaching — Larry James @ 7:00 am

When you are a request for coaching, it doesn’t make any difference what people say. You can learn to roll with the punches. You can learn to let criticism roll off you like water off a duck’s back.

alphabetSoupThink about this. How do you react when people offer suggestions that differ from the way you feel about things? Many people react negatively. They turn off the other person by changing the subject or starting an argument about it. We sometimes call these suggestions criticism. No one likes to be criticized.

Often, the other person, in an attempt to make you feel better, may tell you that he or she is only offering “constructive” criticism to be helpful. We will hear them say something like, “I am only telling you this for your own good.” They mean well. Usually their criticism is not requested. In this context we seldom listen to and often become offended by criticism that wasn’t requested. Calling it “constructive” is a joke.

Let’s examine constructive criticism. Constructive is defined as “to build, improve or advance, resulting in a positive conclusion.” Sounds great, so far. Right? On the other hand, to criticize is to judge severely or to censure. To censure is to demonstrate an expression of disapproval. I have a question for you. How can you get a positive conclusion from an expression of disapproval?

Constructive criticism is only destructive. Those two words don’t belong together. There is no such thing as constructive criticism.

Let’s dispel this myth once and for all.

When someone criticizes you, or as we can now say, offers coaching, smile and give them a thoughtful, warm response. Thank them for sharing. The warmer your answer to their criticism, the more dignified you become. Be warm, be friendly and be non-defensive. When you are coachable you can learn to listen to someone elses extremely different point of view and know that you are perfectly okay and so are they. Unless you have made a commitment to be coachable this is not easy. Although your first reaction may be to disregard their criticism, when you are coachable, and especially if it is something you don’t want to hear, you will pay attention to it.

Keep in mind that what the other person says that you call criticism is only their assessment; only their opinion. Criticism is not personal. It is only the “stuff” of the person who criticizes. It doesn’t mean anything. It isn’t right or wrong. It is only their point of view. There is no right or wrong. There is only your perception of right or wrong and there are consequences.

It’s an attitude. It’s how you listen that makes the difference. It’s being open at the top. How can you expect to be contributed to if you are always listening to criticism as criticism? Here’s a “what if” for you. What if when someone offers “constructive criticism,” you could listen to it like it was assistance that you requested? Would that make a difference in your life? Of course. And, what if they were right? All we are saying here is don’t discount ideas, suggestions, criticism, advice and other people’s offers to help. If you do, you may miss an opportunity for constructive coaching.

When criticism shows up you get to listen to it anyway you want. Put aside your personal feelings and focus on what you find useful to you. You get to make the choice about whether you implement their “constructive criticism” or not. You may not accept what they say as truth and you may want to take a closer look at it. Play with the idea. If it works for you, use it. If not, discard it and move on to what’s next. When you are coachable, you listen to criticism like coaching. Doing this can change your perception of the way things appear. Criticism dies when there is no listening for it.

coachableYou don’t have to agree with everything your coaches say. I have found that in my own experience of coaching and being coachable, a good question to ask yourself is, “What if what they said worked?” What if they were right? Usually when I am confronted by what has been said, I know that the confrontation has hit a sore spot that needs my attention. I pay attention to that one even more.

Another truth is, some people love to criticize. Even when you are coachable, it is still often difficult to deal with people who are totally committed to being critical. Be strong. Be brave. You can do it.

Remember, all winners have coaches. If you are going to be successful at networking, you would be wise to get a coach. Be different. Be a winner. Have everyone show up as a coach for you. When you are coachable, coaches show up everywhere. When help comes from an unlikely source, be grateful. People who are coachable listen for opportunities to be coached. They listen to what people say like a quarterback listens to a coach – like what the coach says may make a difference in their game next week.

netHQ

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. From the chapter, “Be Coachable!” in Larry’s latest book, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. He presents networking seminars nationally and “Networking” coaching by telephone or one-on-one. Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakerNetwork.wordpress.com/

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